LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. Versus The Nothing, AnnaMercury. 9 pm.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Northwest Metal Showcase, with BloodHunger, Unhailoed, A Lesson In Chaos, Lenore, No Living Witness. 8 pm. $10-$12.

The Hub Tacoma - Stadium District. 253Heart Music Festival All Woman's Showcase featuring Heidi Vladyka, Gina Belleveau, Annie Lockwood, Hannah Mendenhall, Kit Nelson. 10 pm.

The Hub Event Space Tacoma - Stadium District. 253Heart Music Festival KGHP Stage hip-hop show featuring J. Bre, EvergreenOne, Fame Rilla, Restrospective, FaridXan, Quincy Q-Dot Henry. All Ages. 6 pm.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Kim Archer Band, Stacy Jones Band. 8 pm. $6.

Le Voyeur Café and Lounge Olympia - Downtown. The Devil Whale. 9 pm.

Louie G's Pizzeria Fife. @Five. All Ages. 8 pm. $5.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. The Whole Bolivian Army. All Ages. 6 pm. NC.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. The Speans, Gigantum, Ayahuasca Travellers. 9 pm.

Old General Store Steakhouse & Saloon Roy. Rae Solomon, Robbie Walden, Buck/Haggard Tribute Band & special surprise guest. 9 pm.

Paddy Coyne's Irish Pub Tacoma - Downtown. Blues Redemption. 9 pm.

Peabody Waldorf Tacoma - Downtown. Loch Lomond, Elk & Boar, Big Sur, Hail. All ages. 8 pm. $8-$10.

SideBar Bistro Tacoma - Downtown. Saxophonist Michael Hershman. All Ages. 6-9 pm. NC.

Theatre on the Square Tacoma - Downtown. Zydeco Dance Lessons and party with Jeffrey Broussard & The Creole Cowboys. Dance lessons at 6:30 pm. 21+. 7:30 pm. $39.

• In a brilliant move, the Broadway Center will transform its Theatre on the Square into an old-fashioned social hall Friday night setting up Broussard and his Creole Cowboys on the stage above a cleared-out dance floor. Yup, the seats will be replaced with sweaty, happy dancers. To make the dancers even happier, the Barefoot Collective pros will provide free zydeco dance lessons an hour before the show. Expect the music to be an infectious rhythm that will be more rubbery syncopation than predictable stomp. Gumbo and authentic drink specials at the no-host cash bar complete the experience. — Michael Swan
  

Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill Spanaway. Cardiac Kidz, Ravens Rant, O'Dark: 30. They are playing for Fisher House a local charity in conjunction with KISW 99.9. 8 pm. $3.

Washington State History Museum Tacoma - Downtown. In Honor of Black History Concert. Shyan Selah & The Republic of Sound, Chloey Wilson, Dennis Engracia, Elisa Rosin, Jsmine Parker, In All Honesty, Maddi Blauser, Project Euphoria, Zamara Bennett, Zhane Juniea. All Ages. 6:30-9 pm. $10-$20.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

FRIDAY, FEB. 25, 2011 >>>

1. There's a reason everyone's talking about the Peabody Waldorf - and it starts with the kick-ass all-ages shows. Tonight. catch Loch Lomond, Elk & Boar and Big Sur & Hail. For the Weekly Volcano's comprehensive live local music listings, click here.

2. In a brilliant move, the Broadway Center will transform its Theatre on the Square into an old-fashioned social hall tonight, setting up Jeffrey Broussard & the Creole Cowboys on the stage above a cleared-out dance floor. Yup, the seats will be replaced with sweaty, happy dancers. To make the dancers even happier, the Barefoot Collective pros will provide free zydeco dance lessons an hour before the show. Expect the music to be an infectious rhythm that will be more rubbery syncopation than predictable stomp.

3. Rick Springfield will do what he does best at the Little Creek Casino tonight. This time we're serious.

4. Border Songs, the novel that won Jim Lynch the 2010 Washington State Book Award (not to mention the coveted Best Writer status in our recent Best of Olympia edition!), has now been adapted into a stage play by local playwright Bryan Willis. This version - which opens tonight - was produced through Saint Martin's University Theatre Department but was commissioned by Book-It Repertory Theatre in Seattle, which will remount the play there in September. It's about a rookie border control agent, Brandon Vanderkool, who's more in love with birds than his job.

5. Peter Tietjan's Follow the Kites is just one of many riches that the 253Heart Festival will provide over the weekend - with opening festivities tonight. Other notable acts, taking to local stages like The Harmon Tap Room, The Hub, The Hub Events Space and Doyle's Public House over the weekend, include EvergreenOne, Quincy "Q-Dot" Henry, Apache Chief, Roman Holiday, Perry Acker, SweetKiss Momma, Evan Purcell, Jim Basnight, the Dignitaries, the Artichoke Project, Doug Mackey, Jeff Angell, etc, etc, etc. It'll be awesome.

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

THIS WEEK: Oh puck!

We all have our moments of pride as bartenders. Sometimes it's a smooth night, with tons of tips and a huge crowd  -- and we're able to pull off the evening without a hitch.

And we all have our moments of shame.

The till might be $50 short, or a fight broke out before it could be diffused, or you fuck up a dirty dry martini straight up shaken, not stirred. Granted most of these moments are in the green years of bartending, but with some instances you just can't shake that feeling of "ugggh" - even years later.

Here's one such moment.

It was the end of a pretty normal Friday night, plenty of metal had poured from the jukebox and plenty of Oly had poured from the taps. I was in my first year of bartending and on dish duty. Just bullshitting around with my co-workers and polishing up pints, I came across a glass with something pink and sparkly jammed in it. I tried to tap the item out, but no luck. So I shoved my fingers in the glass and tried to fish it out, all the while trying to figure out what it was. I concluded it must be a candle, do to its texture, size and color. 

After dislodging the "candle" I did what comes naturally - I stuck the thing up to my nose to see if the scent complimented the sparkly pink color. It right at this very moment that a look of horror crossed my face. My "candle" reeked of piss.

That's right; my "candle" was a urinal puck.

So! Let this be a lesson to all you aspiring bartenders. Never trust anything in a glass that isn't beer. In fact, don't trust that, either.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to take a shower ... I'm suddenly feeling very dirty.

Ugggh.

"BEHIND BARS" LINK HUB

LINK: 86'd

LINK: More Aural Adventures

LINK: Big & Rich

LINK: Tales From the Incident Log Book

LINK: The Tip Jar

LINK: Aural Adventures

LINK: Smooth Transitions

LINK: The Pooper

MORE FROM THAT GUY EVERYONE FEELS SO PASSIONATELY ABOUT >>>

As part of this week's special Music Issue, an annual Weekly Volcano tradition, we've included a Q&A conducted by editor Matt Driscoll with one Daniel Blue, frontman of Motopony, a band recently signed to TinyOgre. (To be clear: the Music Issue is annual ... Blue interviews only happen when it's been too long since people called us names. See the comment section here.)

Tacomans know Blue well. He really needs no introduction.

Read the full interview here.

And, below, enjoy a couple "Extended Cuts" we saved specially for SPEW.

WEEKLY VOLCANO: What do you feel and think about when you see the 253 Heart? Has that thing made you rich yet? I see people at Target with those stickers on their hatchbacks all the time ...

DANIEL BLUE: That is a strange shape.  I struggle in the thinking that you can own a symbol. I mean, who has the copyright on the cross or the pentagram ... Are they rich?  It came out of the sky and passed through my hand.  I believed in its power and it fed me and kept me alive.  I have passed it on to Steve Naccarato because he loved Motopony, and believed in us, and we love him back, and it felt weird collecting a 253 Heart check when I lived in the 206.  I love that the idea of loving the area you live in is something Tacoma understands and wants to display. This delivers joy to my heart.   The heart of the 253 Heart is to Love where you are.   Today I am on Capitol Hill, and I love it here too!

VOLCANO: How is Seattle treating you? What do you miss about living in Tacoma?

BLUE: Seattle is a great place to be a professional musician. Would you believe that no one complains at the door when they have to pay to see a show?!?!?.  (Seattle's) scenes are diverse and (it) has a rad history and a national reputation.  As we travel it's a great "outlier" city to be from...and I think it helps people understand our music.  I miss the slower pace of Tacoma. I miss Wright Park and the empty streets to long-board (I've been nearly run over here a few times....long-boarding with traffic is like level 8 shit).  I miss Oliver Dorriss telling me he wants to punch me like a big brother.  I miss all the people...and the potential....Seattle is saturated.  It has no empty buildings to dream about what you would put in there.  It has no ghosts. Here everything is alive and has a story going...one that may or may not include you.  In Tacoma you get the feeling that there is so much that is yet to be written, and it's easy to see yourself as an author and a character in the story.  Mostly, I miss sharing meals with my loved ones there.  Eating alone is a bitch...but I'm making some friends now that I have settled here on the Hill (I moved around a lot when I got here). There are a few Tacoma transplants near here that I have made dinner for...so we will get that ball rolling, don't worry too much about me, OK?

WELCOME BACK, KOTTER DRISCOLL >>>

While, much like Shawn Kemp, I try to keep these things quiet - the secret is out. I've been gone on leave for the last week or so as my Wonder Woman of a wife delivered our second child, a boy - who's all awesome and stuff. Everyone around the Driscoll household, amazingly even our 3-year-old daughter, is very excited by the addition to the family, and we're all also very thankful for the love and well-wishes we've received.

So, thanks so much for that ... and all that garbage.

You see, I'm kind of horrible about these sorts of things. I haven't even emailed pictures around the office yet - there's a lady in sales who I think literally hates me because of it. And let's not even get started with the teachers at my daughter's preschool ... If they don't get a picture soon I'm petty sure the disciplinarian of the bunch is going to take a crowbar to my kneecaps.

So, in hopes of alleviating all of it, I've included a picture with this post that - for privacy reasons - may or may not be August Henry Driscoll. Eat it up, sales lady.

Also, the hand-down-the-pants-while-sleeping move may or may not run in the family.

Since I am - officially - back at work today, it would be silly of me not to urge you to check out this week's Cup Check column, as well as the sure to be highly controversial "Daniel Blue Interview" (both of which, in a story I hope he one day finds funny not cause for therapy, I wrote in the hours after my son's birth).

CHECK IT WHILE YOU STILL CAN >>>

You wouldn't know it by looking outside, but winter is ever-so-slowly fading into spring. Soon, that big winter parka will be stored away, replaced by suntan lotion and hiking boots. Trips to the beach will replace weekends at the ski lodge. In no time at all we'll be basking in those clear spring days - warm rays from the sun beaming down on us while we....

Wait. Sorry. This is Washington. Spring comes sometime in mid-June.

Anyway, the technical end to winter (spring supposedly starts March 20) does mean the end for the inaugural season of Olympia Winter Nights. Tonight's fourth and final installment, featuring Briana Marela and the Steve Munger Quintet, begins at 8 p.m. Tune in live to TCTV channel 77, KAOS 89.3 FM, or the OWN Blog to watch the last episode of this truly remarkable local series.

Or, if you're feeling extra springy, head down to The Evergreen State College and catch the performance in-studio.

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment comes from LOS in regard to Paul Schrag's profile of Tacoma's Josh Rizeberg, part of this week's annual Weekly Volcano Music Issue.

LOS writes,

Josh Rizeberg does all kinds of things for the community in Tacoma especially for hip hop, tirelessly promoting other groups as well as himself. He doesn't front at all and I think Paul Schrag's article accurately captures what he's all about and not the above comment. I mean haters are going to hate but I don't know Rize to jack knowledge unless you mean from reading books or listening to wise people then processing it in his head. (Isn't that how everybody gets knowledge?) And police brutality and the right to pursue happiness are pressing issues in the community so why shouldn't he bring attention to those? Big ups Rize, you're a cool dude, keep doing your thing.

SATURDAY, FEB. 26 >>>

1. Tonight, from 7:30 - 10:30 p.m., check out Tacoma Urban Orchestra presents: Naïve. Briefly described as, "A unique creative musical experiment, in conjunction with dance, spoken word and a new indie Tacoma film directed my Lucas Smiraldo," more info can be found here.

2. As you're hopefully hip to, the Northwest Convergence Zone recently launched an all South Sound local music internet radio station. Suffice to say, it's rad. Tonight at the New Frontier Lounge in Tacoma's Dome District, the Convergence Zone will celebrate with a showcase featuring Brotherhood of the Black Squirrel, Trees Without Leaves, the Hardcount and Big Wheel Stunt Show - celebrating the release of their new album, Cheetah Milque.

3. Like pizza? Like all-ages shows? Like Fife? Well, then, do we have a show for you. Check in with the irresistible Cody Foster's Army, along with Suburban Vermin, Agodamnation and Dead Peasants tonight at Louie G's Pizzeria.

4. The exhibition American Chronicles: The Art of Norman Rockwell makes its only Northwest stop at Tacoma Art Museum today through May 30 - with 44 paintings and 323 original Saturday Evening Post covers. 

5. Are your kids feeling artsy? Begging for a story? Garfield Book Company has you covered with its Saturday Super Craft and Storytime - which runs from 2-3 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LET'S DO THIS THING >>>

Barely five years ago, several of the Dockyard Derby Dames could hardly stand up on eight wheels. But at 6 p.m. tonight, they'll be cruising on all cylinders as they launch into their fifth season of hot roller derby action with The Marauding Mollys vs. the Femme Fianna and the DyDD season four champions The Trampires jammin' against The Hellbound Homewreckers in a bout staged at the Pierce College Health Ed. Center in Lakewood.

This sport involves - roughly - a race between two teams on roller skates, during which a player scores points by overtaking opposing players after skating completely around the track within a certain time limit. Despite its roots in Depression-era entertainment, the derby has undergone several cycles, including an upswing in the '70s, and now has grown to 104 Women's Flat Track Derby Association leagues. Adding to tonight's action, Weekly Volcano Publisher Pappi Swarner and columnist Steph DeRosa will partake in the pre-bout rues demonstration.

Tickets, $12 when doors open at 6 p.m., allow fans either a coveted (and slightly dangerous) trackside seat, one of the many stands or a more removed perch in the beer garden.

Dockyard Derby Dames Season 5, Bout 1

Saturday, Feb. 26, 6 p.m., doors 5 p.m., 412
Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr., Lakewood
DyDD's website and Facebook

The rest of the season

• BOUT 2: Saturday April 2, Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, doors at 5 p.m.
• ALL STAR: Saturday April 23, Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, doors at 5 p.m.
• BOUT 3: Saturday May 21, Foss Waterway, doors at 5 p.m.
• CHAMP BOUT: Saturday June 25, Foss Waterway, doors at 5 p.m.
• ALL STAR: Saturday Aug 20, Pierce College Health Ed. Center, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, doors at 5 p.m.

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. Square N The Jimis, The Buddha Magoo. 9 pm.

Bob's Java Jive Tacoma - Central. RJ's Express Band. 9 pm.

Doyle's Public House Tacoma - Stadium District. SweetKiss Momma. 9 pm.

The Hub Tacoma - Stadium District. Kim Archer Band 10 pm.

Hub Event Space Tacoma - Stadium District. 253Heart Music Festival all-ages 4-9 p.m. show: Delta Sol, The Trasholes, Books And Covers, Apache Chief, Follow the Kites, The Fun Police, Roman Holiday; 12 an dolder show: Rane Stone, Sordid Senitels, Where Sails Meet Rails

Harmon Tap Room Tacoma - Stadium District. 253Heart Music Festival featuring Erik Thomas, The Herb Friendly Trio, Doug Mackey, Elk And Boar, The Artichoke Project, Rooftop Warrior, Shotgun Social, The Dignitaries, Semi-Automatic. 4pm to midnight.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Plague Ships, The Ellis Armor, Devils Of Loudon, Sin, Helles. 9 pm.

Louie G's Pizzeria Fife. CFA, Suburban Vermin, Adodamnation, Dead Peasants. All Ages. 8 pm. $5.

• A band like Cody Foster's Army doesn't come along every day - a dynamic and powerful three-piece with a heavy old school hardcore attitude and an uncompromising DIY approach. Consisting of members of an assortment of legendary Tacoma bands from the last two decades, these guys are no strangers to local rock. Foster plays bass and sings, Dave Takata is the crazy guitarist, and "Reno" David Marseillan is the thundering drummer. Together they are making a name for themselves with a fierce set of raging tunes. - Weekly Volcano

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Nearly Dan (Steely Dan tribute). 8 pm. $10-$12.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Zael Zura. All Ages. 8:30 pm. $5.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. NW Convergence Zone Showcase, with The Big Wheel Stunt Show, The Hardcount, Brotherhood Of The Black Squirrel, Trees Without Leaves. 9 pm.

• There are far too many people who would be ashamed to say they like something as fundamentally shallow and conventional as AC/DC, but I'm not one of them. I think this is part of why I've grown to love Big Wheel Stunt Show. They don't sound like AC/DC, per se. They have a little more energy than the Aussies' relentless groove and a little more of a punk rock, grungy tinge. But on some level they occupy the same headspace within the dark bowels of my musically eccentric brainpan. - Joe Izenman

Northern Olympia - Downtown. Spud-Razor: A benefit for an injured pup. Pizza T's Z Kamp Elbow Coulee Jungle Boss Emil-Nitrate Come jam out to some kick ass Oly bands for a great cause, helping an injured dog friend. All proceeds go to getting Spud better. All Ages. 8 pm-12amish. $7.

Pastiche Wine Bar Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Aqua Velva. 7 pm.

Rock the Dock Pub & Grill Tacoma - Downtown. Leanne Trevalyan Duo. 9 pm.

The Spar Tacoma - Old Town. Too Many Cooks, with Steve Stefanowicz. 9 pm.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. Missionary Position. 9 pm.

studio four18 Olympia - Downtown. Larry Murante. Benefit concert for Patrons of South Sound Cultural Arts. All Ages. 7:30 pm. $20.Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art Olympia - Downtown. Casey Neil. All Ages. 8 pm. $8-$12.

Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill Spanaway. Benefit For Bandido Chops, featuring KZOK's Rockfish. 9 pm. $5.

The Vault Nightclub Olympia - Downtown. Twista, Island Tribe featuring PO, Leezy Soprano, Cin'atra, Fly Boyz, DJ Contagious. 8 pm. $20-$30.

Washington State History Museum Tacoma - Downtown. In Honor of Black History Concert. Shyan Selah & The Republic of Sound, Chloey Wilson, Dennis Engracia, Elisa Rosin, Jsmine Parker, In All Honesty, Maddi Blauser, Project Euphoria, Zamara Bennett, Zhane Juniea. All Ages. 6:30-9 pm. $10-$20.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound