NEWS TEAM: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

Crosscut: Why is Seattle trying to sack Tacoma?

Recession Roulette: Historic Winthrop Hotel building owner wants out.

Flooding Concerns: Pierce County, er, flooding concerns.

Not Good: Tacoma's general fund shortfall grows to $7.1 million.

President Barack Obama: "New beginning between the United States and Muslims"

Wax Off: Kwai Chang Caine found dead.

Round And Round: Rising interest on nations’ debts may sap world growth.

Hair Witch Project: Witch bottle containing finger nails, hair and pins discovered.

NEWS TEAMS: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

Spending: Gregoire to sign $69.5 billion state budget

Still Missing: Iraq War vet disappears after raft capsizes in cold Nisqually River

The Little Council That Can: Tacoma City Council poised to OK funds to fix Mount Rainier Scenic Railroad tracks.

Nudging Netanyahu: Obama pushes for change Palestinians can believe in.

PAUL SCHRAG: HOP ABOARD TACOMA >>>

Well Tacoma, help is on the way. Federal help to jumpstart our economy, that is. City of Tacoma has a list of projects, funding pipelines and targets that will be invested in as part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. And the Weekly Volcano got its hands on the list of the Tacoma’s priorities and proposals. A quick glance actually inspires some hope.

For those who don’t know, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act is a massive federal effort to jumpstart the nation’s economy, create and/or save millions of jobs, and patch up some of the damage done to our economy by greedy business people, government agencies and everyone else you feel like blaming. It aims to make these repairs with huge infusions of federal tax dollars, which cities such as Tacoma are allowed to apply for through various agencies put in charge of handing it all out.

The 14-page document contains a laundry list of projects the city would like to/plans to undertake with the help of these federal dollars, and almost all of them have awesome, reassuring names - from so-called Neighborhood Stabilization Programs to Homelessness Prevention Fund dollars. Some of the money noted is all but on its way, awaiting approval and dispersal by the various agencies that have been put in charge of managing our rescue money.

An estimated $772,000 would come in the form of Community Development Block Grant funds. Potential projects noted in city documents include Metropolitan Development Council’s Tacoma Detox Center to the tune of $149,056; fixing hazardous sidewalks, or at least as many of them as we can with $100,000; and money for affordable housing programs overseen by the Tacoma Community Redevelopment Authority. It is important to note that project suggestions do not mean that money is already designated. They’re just suggestions. So-called Neighborhood Stabilization Program funds would total a little over $3 million, and be used for several purposes. Among them are $750,000 to create a revolving loan fund to help people with modest incomes buy foreclosed homes; $1.5 million to help people with better incomes buy other foreclosed homes; and $833,000 to provide down payment assistance for other homes in foreclosure.

Nearly $1.2 million is slated to be used to create a Homelessness Prevention Fund and Emergency Shelter Grant Program. That money would be used by competitively-selected contractors to provide financial assistance and services that would help low-income families from becoming homeless. Those who have become homeless would receive help getting back on their feet. Mechanisms would include housing relocation, credit counseling, deposits, rent and utility payments and moving costs, for example. All of that money must be contracted out by the end of September.

Law enforcement grants would put money into expanding the city’s Crime Analysis Unit, including hiring of two full-time crime analysts, who usually spend their time analyzing arrest data and crime trends. Another $120,000 would go towards a Truancy Prevention Program, with the goal of reducing crime rates and gang activity during school hours. Other priorities for law enforcement grant dollars include $200,000 for the city’s Domestic Violence Advocacy Program; nearly $100,000 for a Youth Violence Prevention Program, which looks like it would be used for curfew enforcement and to bust up parties; $44,000 to expand the Business Improvement Area bike patrol program; $50,000 to fund DUI emphasis patrols; and $43,500 to buy digital voice recorders for police investigators.

That’s not all of it, Tacoma, and the way this money will trickle down is likely to evolve, says Elly Walkowiak, project manager for the City of Tacoma. But fear not. Help is on the way.

“It’s constantly evolving,” says Walkowiak. “The beauty of part of it is that local governments are able to determine their own priorities and invest the funds where they’re most needed on the local level.”

NEWS TEAM: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

How About a Robocop?: Fifteen Pierce County law enforcement agencies pencil out $2.8 million in federal grant money.

Parked: Budget cuts may force the Pierce County Council transfer some of its parks to local governments.

Off-shore Accounts: President Obama is coming after you.

Duh: As a Democrat, Specter leads in home state poll.

Nipple-riffic PR Stunt: Supreme Court throws out ruling in favor of CBS in Janet Jackson boob-gate case.

This is how Monday feels

NEWS TEAM: WANKERS OF THE DAY >>>

The Swine Flu Thing

The whole “100 days” thing

The Bank of America thing

And NBC Marketing Dept. does its thing.

NEWS TEAM: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

Budget: Checking in with the Legislature.

The ants will be happy: Legislature passes $5 fee to pay for state parks.

Holy shit: Forget that water issue thing.

Letters: I hate kites.

Crap: Arod now not the biggest rod issue.

Oklahoma: No way potty mouths. Hey, who loves a musical?

Cuddle party: When the news team drops this ostrich feather, that means it's officially time to begin.

Hey, the news team loves this, too.

JOE MALIK: GIVE IT UP >>>

As the economy declines, a growing number of people are being kicked out of their homes. Data released by real estate trackers RealtyTrac shows that one out of every 320 homes in Pierce County are in foreclosure proceedings. Pierce County had the third-highest foreclosure rate in Washington state as of March, which is an improvement. For the past several months, Pierce County faced more foreclosures than any other county. Still, based on current number of homes being reclaimed by lenders, foreclosures in Pierce County have more than doubled since the same time last year.

If ever there was a time to sink some time and energy into creative housing solutions, now is it. There’s just one problem â€" building affordable housing isn’t a priority round these parts. At least not the kind of priority it should be. For those who are unemployed or facing that dreadful prospect, this topic should be of particular interest.

In downtown Tacoma, we have an inventory of $300,000-plus condominiums that is simply grotesque in magnitude. Take a walk at night and look at how many lights are on. It’s depressing. The past few years have seen a frenzy of development, driven by developers who hoped to cash in on a sort of loosey-goosey finance market, low interest rates, and carefully cultivated buyer enthusiasm. That last part is important. This crisis can’t be laid solely at the feet of homebuyers. Banks that relaxed lending standards to an absurd degree; developers who ignored warning signs and built projects that even a healthy market wasn’t ready to absorb; real estate agents and lending partners that invested enormous amounts of time and energy convincing buyers that it was a great time to buy, even if they had to fudge a little bit on the loan application; agency organizations that stuck their heads in the sand and their promotional signs in the air when it became evident that it was all unraveling â€" all bear some responsibility for the growing number of people facing life without a home. So far, federal, state and local governments, along with a few well intentioned but under funded non-profit agencies, seem to be the only entities stepping up to patch holes in the safety net. Tacoma and Pierce County are set to receive a little more than $1 million each for “homelessness prevention,” which is a delightful concept. Unfortunately, even 10 times that amount would be a drop in the bucket when you consider the magnitude of need for affordable housing in Pierce County.

So that leads me to my next question. Where you at private sector? Want to get involved in solving the dilemma you helped create? For those not comfortable with slinking off into summer homes purchased with commissions drawn from shady home sales and lending contracts, there are plenty of ways to find absolution.

First, recognize that you’re going to have to give something up. Probably a lot. There’s a beautiful/terrible balance built into the free market, and no amount fiscal wizardry is going to allow you to keep your ill-gotten gains. You’re not on Wall Street, not most of you anyway. And most of you aren’t that clever, or despicable. Sorry. It really is that simple.

So, facing reality for a moment, let’s consider converting all those empty condos into affordable rental units. Few of you can afford to ride this out, and even fewer of you are going to find buyers for your units, or projects as a whole. Sure it will hurt like hell, and you may have to give up some of the cushy lifestyle this building and lending frenzy has afforded you. But hey … you probably won’t end up homeless.

LINK: Unemployed in Tacoma archives

JOE MALIK: COLLECTIONS AGENCIES SUCK >>>

Well the collections biz is heating up nicely. For those of us without jobs, that means a lot of auto-dialed harassment, form letters, and general assaults by people who are trained like Special Forces soldiers to hunt you down and extract money with extreme prejudice.

The collections industry is having quite a year. According to the Commercial Collection Agency Association, accounts worth nearly $4.2 billion were placed in collection in the first quarter of 2009. That’s a substantial increase of 34.6 percent from $3.1 billion during the same time last year. The number of accounts increased 11 percent, to 2.52 million from 2.27 million, suggesting larger accounts are going to collections.

Predictably, collections agencies are getting more aggressive with their collections techniques, and adding staff. I don’t know if you’ve dealt with some of these fuckers, but the thought of the one’s I’ve dealt with becoming more aggressive triggers hysterical laughter. These are people whose sole aim is to extract money from you that you probably don’t have. These are people who go to training seminars that teach them intimidation and negotiation tactics borrowed from the military, or maybe the mob. These are folks whose livelihoods depend on squeezing blood from a stone. Or in this case, money from a stone. Oh, and you’re the stone. Every once and a while you’ll get a human on the phone, but not often.

Now, before you start preparing for battle, I want to remind you of one the great warrior axioms â€" the true warrior avoids battle whenever possible, saving himself or herself for the battles that matter. In this spirit, I offer you the following technique, which will likely help you avoid many battles.

First, order a credit report from each of the three agencies. Freecreditreport.com is a good place to do this in one swift move.

Once you have a list of your alleged debts, type up a form letter, leaving the “To” address and account number of information blank, and state simply that you would like to challenge the validity of the debt, and require some sort of written verification that the debt is valid. Send a letter to each of the credit agencies for each collections account, and wait for a reply. Do not contact the original debtors. Just the credit agencies.

You will begin receiving letters stating that the credit agencies have received your request, and a follow up within about 30 days. Some will say you’re off the hook, and more will say they have received verification. At this point, respond with a letter asking to see proof of the verification. Nine times out of ten, this will result in the accounts being removed from your records.

That’s the first step, and will likely have a dramatic impact on your credit score. You aren’t likely to hear from any agencies holding debts older than seven years, though many agencies now just resell the accounts to some scumbag second stringer agency. That cycle can go on indefinitely. By the time the collections process gets to this point, most of these skeezy little agents won’t have much of a leg to stand on, and can be dismissed with a request for proof of verification. Send them a letter asking for said proof, and ask that they not call you, and only contact you via mail. That will stop the phone calls at the very least. Often, they’ll just drop it.

For those agencies that still have one over on you, head over to Consumer Credit Counseling in University Place. They’ll charge you a little, but they’re like ninjas, and will do most of the legwork for you. Of course, that assumes you’ll have money to give them at some point….

PREVIOUS UNEMPLOYED IN TACOMA COLUMNS

NEWS TEAM: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

Meet Tacoma School District Deputy Superintendent Carla Santorno

McNeil Island faces potential closure.

"President Obama, why don't you just set us on fire?"

Rachel Maddow ruthlessly mocked the GOP's new found love for teabagging.

Bailing them out: U.S. government to make 17,000 plus fuel-efficient cars from American auto manufacturers.

Co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, Dave Arneson has died.

JOE MALIK: BOOZE BLUES >>>

So somebody told me that I needed to follow up my rant about saving money with some actual suggestions of how to go about it. Those of you among the jobless, who are looking to keep what cash is available in your pocket, give up. Ain’t gonna happen. I’m not saying you should go shopping at the mall (for so many reasons), but be honest with yourself up front â€" you’re going to have to spend the money you have, especially if you have as little of it as I do. Start with that assumption.

Next, come up with a budget, and prioritize your expenses. Most people know what they spend most of their money on â€" rent (which shouldn’t be more than 30 percent of your monthly expenses if you can help it), food, medical, insurance, beer, weed. But it’s those untracked purchases like lattes and Little Debbie Wonder Choads that’ll get you in the end. Make a concerted effort to look at everything you spend your money on, down to small purchases. If there are categories of miscellaneous items that add up to more than $10 per month, add it to your budget, and limit yourself. Hell, stop eating Wonder Choads and save your self $50 a month.  

Now start deciding what you can or should give up. Use it as an excuse to give up an old habit â€" like eating Little Debbie snack cakes.

Next, onto the things you can’t give up, like beer and liquor.

First, buy cheap beer. Pabst Blue Ribbon and Olympia are the most affordable and palatable brews. Don’t leave comments about hating Olympia beer, ‘cause we can track where you live, and we’re militant about Oly brew. Suckas. If you’re really thirsty, and Old E 40 oz. is a cheap alternative to bottled water.

Next, buy in bulk. Going to the bar is expensive. For what you spend on a couple of martinis, you could have your own fifth of Monarch Vodka. It all depends on your purpose, I guess. If you can tear yourself from the standard slate of Tacoma drunks, why not just stay home and drink a lot more, straight from the bottle? Drinking alone is healthy. I don’t care what your shrink says. Especially if it means you don’t have to drive home.

If you absolutely must go out to drink, figure out where the specials are, hit happy hour, and stand right next to the bartender while he/she’s pouring, wink, and ask for just a little more. Sometimes it works. Also, steal other people’s drinks. It’s easier than you think. Hell, make a game of it, and just take sips from drinks that sit too long at the bar before being delivered. It’s easier than you think.

Next, if you need to, drink in your car before the game, especially if you’re planning on sitting through the whole thing, and like to drink heavily.

Also if you drink heavily, and uncontrollably, limit the amount of money you bring, and leave your credit cards at home. You can always steal drinks if you get really desperate.

Another great way to drink for free is to go to other people’s parties, and look for the tub full of Peebers. Take a few home if you need to. They won’t notice.