SOUTH SOUND DINING NEWS, NIBBLES AND BITES >>>

Tonight: Toscanos Café & Wine Bar hosts Hot Drinks & Cool Scarves tonight. If you purchase one of Toscanos's specialty hot cocktails you'll be entered into a drawing for a bitchin' winter scarf.

Fill Your Growler: Beginning today through Friday, Jan. 13, Wine Bank & Beer Vault will take $2 off any growler fill.

Bonus: Through the month of January Brix 25 will present an envelope to diners to open after their meals revealing a $20.12 discount, a free dinner up to six guests or $500 gift certificate. Reserve your spot at 253.858.6626.

News: Garlic Jim's on Sixth Avenue is now called Sammy's Pizza with the same owner.

Hot Dog Cart: T-Town Hot Dog cart will open for business at 10 a.m. Monday-Saturday in Tollefson Plaza beginning today.

New Club: Surreal Ultra Lounge replaced Club Kokonut in April 2010 at 728 Pacific Avenue in downtown Tacoma. Surreal closed in late 2011. Now, Club Kokonut has re-opened in the same space. The dance club hosts "Wobble Wednesday" featuring DJ Reign spinning dubstep and $3 top-shelf pours without a cover change.

Celebration: Northwest Mountain Winery celebrates its first anniversary from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 14 with jazz music by Norma Owens. Admission is free.

On Hold: Wildside Wine will be closed until Jan. 18. It has a Bordeaux blind tasting scheduled for Jan. 28.

Maxwell's Night Out: Maxwell's Restaurant offers two wild mixed green salads, two selected entrees, two scoops of ice cream, two glasses of house wine and two tickets to The Grand Cinema for $60. Reserve the deal at 253.683.4115.

Farrelli's Pizza is opening up a new store this summer

FRIDAY, JAN. 6, 2012 >>>

1. Hammond organist Joe Doria expands definitions and embraces the musical past as a living thing, not just some retro curiosity frozen into easily marketed poses. Doria and crew put jazz's open-minded complexity beneath a heavy funk that's more real than the real thing. And by crew we mean saxophonist Cliff Colon, guitarist Andy Coe and drummer Tarik Abouzied. The free show hit Doyle's Public House at 9 p.m. You'll have to fight birthday boy Jesse Turcotte for the front row.

2. The Puyallup Home & Garden Show is a show designed for homeowners in all stages of remodeling, landscaping and decorating their homes – well, maybe not the stage where you hammer your thumb after discovering you're $50,000 over budget. Hang at the Puyallup Fairgrounds from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. and learn something.

3. Before you get your funky self down at Doyle's, head to King's Books. The Stadium District bookstore will screen the 1992 documentary Incident at Oglala -  which explores the events surrounding the 1975 shootout on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation that left two FBI agents dead - at 6 p.m.

4. The dance begins in the eyes of a man, searching from chair to chair. Some of the chairs will seem interested for a second, then break it off. Others don't even acknowledge him. But when his eyes land on the right piece of furniture, there's no confusing the look. He locks eyes with that chair; the two move toward the dance floor and meet there halfway in an embrace, the classic start of the tango. The lights are dim overhead, and the bottoms of his dance shoes caress the wooden floor as he leads his chosen chair into the tango song. While dancing a dime falls from underneath the chair's cushion. There's an awkward moment. He picks up the coin and continues the dance. "I am," he said too no one there. And no one heard it at all, except the chair. Possibly this dance but certainly many better ones like it will be performed as part of Tacoma Dance Collective The Furniture Series at 7:30 p.m. inside the Tacoma School of the Arts Theatre. A total of 13 pieces of furniture will be the muse of dancers Robin Jennings Jaecklein, Joel Myers, Hannah Crowley, Mary Tuttle, Danny Boulet, Faith Stevens and students from the Tacoma School of the Arts.

5. Hip-hop artist Sky Pilot will unplug it at 7 p.m. inside the Forza Coffee in University Place. How high can you fly?

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Nightlife It List

LINK: This week's freebies

Every New Year's Eve we do it to ourselves. Why? Is it the sweet clink of the ice cubes? The exhilarating pop of the cork? Or just the way the night seems to open up into endless magical possibilities?

Whatever it is, things aren't so magical the next morning. There's nothing glamorous or exhilarating about bloodshot eyes swollen shut. Instead of trying to remember who dropped the poison into your eyeballs, soothe the savage orb with wikiHow's seven steps to cure puffy eyes. You're so welcome.

From everyone at the Weekly Volcano and Spew land, we wish you a happy new year!

LINK: 5 Ways to be a Better (cough) You!

Weekly Volcano's bosses ran the numbers and decided that since you'll all be drunk anyway, there's no use in turning the lights on Christmas Day. So: We'll be back Monday with more frivolity. In the meantime, thanks for reading and commenting this past year. Consider our stockings stuffed.

So "Merry" this and "Happy" that, whatever suits your fancy or your need. Just don't forget the "Ho Ho Ho" that, maybe better than anything else, keeps it all in perspective.

Oh, and Happy New Year. That's unambiguous.

WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE >>>

When I was a wee one, my heroes were not Roger Staubach, James Bond or even H. R. Puffinstuff. No, I looked up to Ted Simmons, a science professor from Orlando, Florida, and Milly Cornwall, a "stewardess" from Wichita, Kansas. I knew little about them; Ted had a beloved coin collection, and Milly was an avid tennis player. But I absorbed their essence.

They were the few, the proud, the contestants on Match Game. RIP Gene Rayburn!

I'm told other kids frolicked outside on swings, swam in pools and jumped their bikes over their friends. I even think I saw a few of them from my window while I was immersing myself in $20,000 Pyramid, Break the Bank, Password, Joker's Wild and my beloved Family Feud.

This was showbiz: microphones, funny banter, flashing lights and lovely parting gifts.

I wanted so bad to be on one of those shows. To be that young boy from Enumclaw whom could one day grow up and stand next to Bert Convy.

Ah, but life is such a cruel bitch.

Now I hear Family Feud will be in the area in January looking for contestants. And the dream is once again sparked. Could I get the chance to trade witty banter with host Steve Harvey and win $100,000 in cold hard cash?

Then I remember I have to bring family members.

I'm out.

[South Hill Mall, Family Feud auditions, Saturday, Jan. 14-Sunday, Jan. 15, need five family members, call for an appointment at 323.762.8467, or email seattle@familytryouts.com for complete information and available times]

PERSON, PLACE OR THING WITH STEPH DEROSA >>>

Location: Puyallup

River Road: And Meridian

Dubbed: Five Guys Calories and Fries

By: Mr. DeRosa

I've done a damn fine job staying away from my beloved bacon cheeseburger the last three months.  It's been a challenge, but very worth it. 

I was doing just fine passing by Quick Pick on a daily basis. And I've substituted ground turkey breast on those rare occasions when hamburger-type cravings have struck. 

I was doing ... just ... fine.

Until Five Guys Burgers and Fries moved to town.

Those bastards. All five of them. Bastards!

With my will power was shrinking with every passing moment, I knew it was only a matter of time until my cravings got the best of me and I succumbed to the awesome macerated beef goodness. To rationalize, I convinced myself that there was a small, barely possible chance that the "Five Guys" part of the newly opened FGBF in Puyallup referred to the five members of N'Sync, thus creating a need to visit.

To read Steph DeRosa's full column, click here.

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

City Of Tacoma Manager Job Update: Five candidates remain. (News Tribune)

Thank A First Responder: Do it today. (News Tribune)

Just In Time For Christmas: Puyallup School District employees have to give back money. (News Tribune)

Global Financial System: The U.S. Federal Reserve, acting with other nations' central banks, to make it cheaper for banks around the world to borrow U.S. dollars. (CNN)

Well, It's Really Laughable Ha, Ha, Ha ...: Morrissey is on a U.S. stamp. (What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

Here They Come: Uncut's to 50 Albums of 2011. (Stereogum)

Pull Up! Pull Up!: Pan Am isn't doing so well. (E)

Fans Should Set Their DVRs To Play: Star Trek documentary airing tomorrow on the Science Channel. (USA Today)

Smart: The lampshade of silence. (Core77)

Stanley!

The Weekly Volcano and Spew would like to wish you a Happy Turkey Day! We hope you and a few others huddle around what little warmth there is in a increasingly cold and uncaring universe, sipping, supping, and supporting one another - because there is nothing else worth doing.

Love each other.

Then go find some karaoke.

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Through Rain And Wind Today: U.S. Postal Service hosts a public meetings tonight on its proposal to close its mail-processing center by the Tacoma Mall. (News Tribune)

Now With More Daffodils: City of Puyallup annexes farmlands. (News Tribune)

Because It's So Huge: Help design wayfinding signs for downtown Tacoma. (News Tribune)

Stick Up, Stick Up: Puyallup police are searching for a man who held up a Little Caesars Pizza last night. (News Tribune)

Pictures: Are these the seven wonders of nature? (National Geographic)

Wow: Ricky Gervais to return as Golden Globes host. (Coming soon)

Super Mad: PETA has turned its wrath on classic video-game character Mario, who wears a Tanooki raccoon suit in Nintendo's new 3DS game Super Mario 3D Land. (Time)

We Finally Will See What They Look Like: Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me is coming to television. (Yahoo)

Darn! Darn! Darn!: The Munsters is getting a reboot at NBC. (Zap 2 It)

Google Music: It's here. (Geek Sugar)

SOUTH SOUND DINING NEWS, NIBBLES AND BITES >>>

New Menu Party: 1022 South lounge will throw a cocktail party to celebrate the debut of the new fall and winter menu at 6 p.m. TONIGHT. The new menu showcases the lounge's exploration and innovation, respect for classic cocktail construction, excitement for apothecary techniques, and commitment to showcasing seasonal ingredients. To celebrate, all menu cocktails will be specially priced at $6 tonight.

Wine Fest: Toscanos in Puyallup is all about the wine this month.

New Menu: Primo Grill in Tacoma has a new fall menu featuring wild mushroom lasagne, rigatoni alla Romagna with house cured guanciale, pumpkin ravioli with sage butter and Grilled Beef Tenderloin with roasted pepper sauce and blue cheese butter. Nice.

Tomorrow: Adriatic Grill by the Tacoma Mall hosts a five-course with wine pairings VIP Chef Dinner.  The main course is braised pork shank with roasted garlic risotto,paired with a 2008 Aia Vecchia, Lagone, Bolgheri, Italy.

LINK: Today's wine tastings

LINK: Fall Restaurant Guide