WE'RE SEEDING OUR TOURNAMENT OF BREAKFAST! >>>

In March, the Weekly Volcano will host the South Sound Tournament of Breakfast. Chosen through the nomination process below, the top 64 vote getters - the cream of the griddle - will compete daily on our blog - weeklyvolcanospew.com - March 15-April 2. Through online voting, readers will pick daily winners until the Best Breakfast in the South Sound is crowned. It's just like March Madness, only with way more syrup. The Tournament of Breakfast grand champion will be announced at our Tournament of Breakfast Party at 6 p.m. April 2 (details soon).

First, we need you to help select the 64 restaurants that should be included in the tournament. Who has the best breakfast in the South Sound? Vote for your favorite below.

SATURDAY, JAN. 28, 2012 >>>

1. Tonight, the currently trending Tacoma Urban Orchestra will lay down 14 - XIV Underground, a dance opera by Benjamin Smith-Chenovick, at The Library at Sanford and Son Antiques. Event hype promises the premiere of Acts IV and V from the Tacoma Urban Orchestra's winter show of 2012, plus Colin Reynolds of I Low singing tenor, the dance and choreography of Karin Stevens and Katrina Ellison and the costume design of Lisa Fruichantie. The action starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Sanford and Sons Antiques Library.

2. For the past few years - and working from an unusually strong starting point - Ben Union has been working to hone his sound to a fine point. After emerging on the scene with a potent live show and an even more precise debut LP, The Light, Union and his band - drummer Jared Mira, bassist Seth Mira, guitarist Talon Carpenter and percussionist "Shazam" - have been working hard to take that certain special sound and reduce it to its most effective essence. Tonight the band celebrates the release of a new record at Louie G's in Fife.

3. Both the Tacoma Home and Garden Show (in the Tacoma Dome) and The Washington Sportsmen's Show (at the Puyallup Fair Events Center) continue today with all the awesomeness you expect.

4. The Blondes featuring Steve Stefanowicz perform tonight at the iconic Spar in Old Town Tacoma. Starts at 8 p.m.

5. On the all-ages front, The Loose Buoys, Dale Everett and the Broken Song Byrds play Tahoma Tea and Co - also known as The Den, for those playing at home. The good times roll at 7 p.m.

LINK: The Weekend Hustle

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs tonight

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 25, 2012 >>>

1. So you like your theater but have trouble with your attention span? Boy, do we have just the theater festival for you! The Pacific Lutheran University chapter of Alpha Psi Omega - described as a national theater honor society (even though it sounds like that frat your cousin with the Ed Hardy wardrobe joined) - presents its annual One Act Theater Festival, today through Jan. 28, at PLU's Eastvold Theater. This year's One-Act Festival bears the title "Loss ... and Found," and spotlights three one-act plays - two of them written by PLU students. According to promotion, expect Recklessness by Eugene O'Neill and directed by Frank Roberts, Otter Pops by Alex Eddy and directed by Corissa DeVerse, and Poor Little Doggy by Myia Johnson and directed by T.R. Robinson.

2. Admittedly, we have a hard time hearing the word "clarinet" and not thinking about junior high band class. And those aren't exactly the type of memories that make us want to head to the concert hall on a Wednesday night. But 19-year-old Narek Arutyunian, coming to Olympia's Washington Center for the Performing Arts tonight, is worth the gamble. One element of what the Washington Center website touts as, "its 16th consecutive year of presenting three of the world's finest young concert musicians in association with Young Concert Artists, Inc," Arutynunian has been widely celebrated for things like his "virtuosity," "warmth" and "charisma." Seeing as we've never had the word "virtuosity" associated with anything we've done in life, it's hard to argue with Arutyunian's street cred ... even if he does play the clarinet. Then there's the fact that, according to the Young Concert Artist Inc. website, Arutyunian has already done things like take home First Prize in the 2010 Young Concert Artists International Auditions and receive the Leona Green Memorial Award. Dude's legit.

3. Today marks the kick-off of the always-spectacular Tacoma Home & Garden Show - now in its 29^th year. The Home & Garden Show runs through the weekend in the Tacoma Dome, but beat the crowds and get your fill of vinyl siding demonstrations today!

4. Holy cow! Not only does the Tacoma Home & Garden Show start today, so does the Washington Sportsmen's Show & Sport Fishing Boat Show - running the entire weekend at the Puyallup Fair and Events Center. Find more info here.

5. Musically in T-Town, guitar player extraordinaire Johnny A will plug in at Jazzbones for an all-ages show starting at 7:30 p.m. Word on the street is local guitar hero Jerry Miller will join him on stage.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs tonight

It's a busy week for O'Laughlin Trade Shows - the juggernaut behind this week's Tacoma Home & Garden Show at the Tacoma Dome, AND the 25th annual Washington Sportsmen's Show and Sport Fishing Boat Show at the Puyallup Fairgrounds. Wednesday through Sunday, the Washington Sportsmen's Show will offer the best in dudes wearing flannel and exaggerated fishing stories. But, best of all, check out what's billed as the "one-of-a-kind" indoor "Steelhead River."

It's hard to go wrong with an indoor river.

According to hype, other attractions include over 150 hours of how-to seminars, camp cooking demos and a free trout pond for the kids.

Wait!?! Two indoor bodies of water?

Just pinch us now.

[Puyallup Fair & Events Center, noon to 8 p.m. Wednesday-Friday, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, $12 adults, $5 for ages 6-16, free for 5 and younger, 110 Ninth Ave. SW, Puyallup, thesportshows.com/wss]

A NOVEL GEM >>>

To the outsider, the South Sound can seem like a sea of trucker hats, strip malls, teriyaki restaurants and traffic jams. At first glance, we may be viewed as an over-caffeinated lot with seasonal affective disorder that loves a good cover band and burger while we try to claim a more liberal definition of the American Dream.

Three talented Tacomans have a different view of the South Sound. They see the nooks. They see the treasures. They see the back trails. And they see it through a creative eye.

Civic activist Ken Miller and artists Chris Sharp and Sean Alexander have assembled a team of writers and visual artists to produce the South Sound Users Guide - a guidebook to the region's more than 3,000 square miles and its 1.1 million inhabitants.

This will not be your typical, glossy travelogue. From what I can gather, it will carry an independent tone with sass completed with hand-drawn illustrations and an out-of-the-box design.

I traded a few questions with Miller as the team generates money for the project via Kickstarter.

WEEKLY VOLCANO: What sparked this project?

KEN MILLER: I've been convinced for a long time the South Sound is a distinct cultural and economic region, and then I saw some of Sean's drawings and talked with Chris and it just sort of tumbled together.

One of my motivations really is to help us see ourselves as a distinctive place. We don't have a Pottery Barn, for example; but by population we're bigger than eight states.

Plus with LeMay and the U.S. Open, we'll need a guide of our own, and I want it to be cool, rather than glossy photos of daffodil fields.

VOLCANO: What's your definition of the South Sound?

MILLER: We're concentrating on Pierce, Thurston and Mason counties – breaking them down by locations, much like Saul Wurman's Access series.

VOLCANO: Where will the guide be distributed?

MILLER: We're finalizing a distribution agreement with Partners West, to put the book into bookstores and gift shops across the western U.S. and Canada. We'll have an e-version, too. There won't be advertising in the text, but we have the ability to offer "customized" back covers in volume - over 100 copies - for $5 per book. The retail price will be $20.

VOLCANO: You already have 32 backers on your Kickstarter.

MILLER: We're using Kickstarter to finance the front-end costs - with rewards at various levels of donations. Among the rewards on Kickstarter are three opportunities to write up one's own "feature" - a business, for example. Those rewards are at the $500 level, and are the only paid content.

For more details, to provide support or to pre-order a copy of the book, go to kickstarter.com and enter "South Sound Users Guide" in the search box; or contact Miller at krm@harbornet.com.

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

The Aftermath: Flooding, canceled flights, power outages, dogs and cats living together. (News Tribune)

Legalizing Gay Marriage: Puyallup senator closes the gap to one vote. (Weekly Volcano)

Mount Rainier: It has its grips on two overdue parties. (News Tribune)

South Carolina Debate: Newt Gingrich's fiery response to the first question - seeking comment on claims made by his second wife - set the tone for the night. (CNN)

Megaupload Site: Hackers launch attacks on a variety of US government and copyright enforcement websites after the file-sharing site was closed. (BBC)

The GQ&A: Burt Reynolds is Sterling Archer's spirit guide. (GQ)

Salute To The Kornfield: Surviving cast members salute Hee Haw. (Billboard)

Undersea Photographer: Russian photographer Alexander Semenov nails it. (io9)

You Are Welcome: The many d'ohs of Homer Simpson. (BuzzFeed)

A Lovely Songs About A Dog And A Fish

NIKKI TALOTTA AND FAMILY ARE FEELING LUCKY >>>

Some people say I'm lucky. I've won blackjack tournaments and essay contests; I've won radio show trivia for board games and concert tickets; once I even won a trip to London to see Muse at Royal Albert Hall.

Some say it's luck. I just say I try. My latest bout of "luck" has been with game shows. Recently I was chosen via-video audition to attend a final audition for the Wheel of Fortune. Lady Luck was not with me that day, however, as my son gave me a stomach bug, and hours before the show I was poised over the toilet, violently vomiting with curlers in my hair. With sweat dripping down my brow - I was persistent - "The show must go on!" I proclaimed, as I downed Imodium AD and bombed the audition.

But, perhaps, it was fate. Because just a few days later, the Weekly Volcano reported that the Family Feud would be holding contestant auditions at South Hill Mall!

I quickly followed the link and phoned like 10 family members. At our Christmas party, we drunkenly attempted to make a video to submit, thought better of it, and sent a witty email to try and ensure a spot for the auditions instead.

A few days later, Team Talotta got the confirmation letter! Excitement swelled inside me as I called my aunties and cousins, chatting about what we'd wear, and how we'd stand, and most importantly, who Team Talotta would be comprised of. Our own family feud had begun.

Shit, I didn't realize 10 of us were crazy enough to go on the show. The first thing we had to do was narrow it down to five or six. So we cut the quiet ones, and the flakey ones, and then finally my own husband was cut, as we deemed it appropriate that in-laws don't count. (Sorry, honey.)

So, team Talotta was complete. Me, my big brother, my goofy mom, my smarty-pants aunt and my motivational speaker cousin. Solid.

The morning of the big day arrived, and as promised, I provided my team with a continental breakfast, complete with jelly-filled frosted cinnamon roles, fresh coffee and orange juice. After a few trial runs on my cousin's family feud phone app, we piled in our cars and braved the snowy roads up to the fine city of Puyallup.

When we arrived, the parking lot was ridiculous, as no one could see the lines where to park so cars were randomly positioned wherever. Inside the mall, families were just as ridiculous, everyone checking their paperwork, with everyone wandering around trying to figure out where to go.

Finally, we got to the check-in line, where a sprite little lady was making name tags. I told her my name was Nikki, and she could go ahead and spell that W-I-N-N-E-R - which she did. Awesome.

There were three stages hosting the auditions. We were at stage "C," near Macy's. There was paperwork to be filled out, and as families bowed over their clipboards, classic rock played in an attempt to pump up the crowd. So, I began throwing up horns and singing along, encouraging my family to do the same. I even got the cameraman involved and slapping me high fives. The other families stayed fixed on their paperwork.

Soon, our host Carlos arrived, all sweaty and energetic, and the games began. The first few families did all right, and eased the tension a little bit. Then, it was our turn. We flew out of our seats, ready to play. I showed my good sportsmanship by shaking the hand of the other team's captain, and then flawlessly introduced my players.

The first question was, "Name a country that is known for having macho men." I didn't hit the buzzer fast enough, and the other family guessed a few right answers. So our job was to get in a huddle and come up with an answer to steal, if we got the chance.

Three strikes and the other team was out. We completely exploded out of our huddle, prompting the host to say, "See, that's how you do it!" We stole the game when I answered, "Right here in the USA!"

We played another round, showing off our spunk and wit, winning again, and riling up the audience. It's funny how our family dynamic and nuances seem completely normal to us, like when my mom started slapping my brother's hand and shouting that she couldn't hear. It was freaking hilarious to other people, again prompting the host to comment, "The feud is supposed to be the other team."

Anyway, it was super fun, and we walked away feeling like we nailed it. We will receive a postcard by Feb 5 if we are chosen. Family Feud would then fly us to a taping sometime in the next year, where we would have the chance to win up to $100,000 and a new car!

Know what? I'm feeling lucky.

WHEN WEATHER REPORTS SCARE >>>

AccuWeather just dropped this on the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters:

January 16, 2012 – State College, PA – After a modest round of wintry weather over the weekend, more snow, including a potentially historic winter storm will target the Pacific Northwest this week, with heavy accumulations expected, even in Seattle.

In the Cascades of Washington and Oregon, snow will be measured in feet and along some western-facing slopes, it could take multiple yard sticks to total up the powder!

Read more...

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SUNDAY, JAN. 15, 2012 >>>

1. You know what I like? Movies. You know what I like even more? Classic movies, preferably from the '80s (my formative years, aka a prehistoric era which ended years before our average reader was conceived). You know what I like even more than that? Classic movies and drinking! Brace yourself for the grueling week ahead by taking in a flick, a cold beer, and all the free popcorn you can stuff down your gullet at the Brotherhood Lounge's Sunday Movie Night. You'll be treated to such dubious cultural milestones as RoboCop and They Live, all on the Brotherhood's nine-foot-screen with surprisingly intense sound. Then hang around after the movie to jam along with DJ James and discuss the finer nuances of Roddy Piper's performance till it's officially Monday.

2. The Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam comes to a destructive conclusion today at the Tacoma Dome - meaning you've only got one more chance to see Grave Digger and the rest of the touring monster trucks in Tacoma until next year.

2. Rich Wetzel's Groovin' Higher Orchestra will chain up and fill Stonegate Pizza with big band music tonight.

3.Get in on the "Super Rock Trivia Night" and a bit of karaoke at Westgate Bar and Grill in Tacoma.

4. It's Service Industry Night at Rock the Dock Pub & Grill - meaning Lena with Songbird Karaoke will be in the house along with drink specials, games, contests and giveaways.

5. It's another Sexy Sunday in Puyallup (really, every day is sexy in Puyallup), with DJ El Guapo breaking out the hip-hop and R&B at O'Henry's Sports Bar.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

BURN BAN IS OFF! >>>

The fire marshall has turned off the burn ban for Pierce, King, Kitsap and Snohomish counties because winds are dispersing the air pollution that built up across the Puget Sound over the past week. You may fire up now.

For those who like charts, click here.