SCENE OF THE CRIME by Natasha
As evidenced by all of the columns that I've written so far for this fine entertainment rag, I'm normally not a hater.
This week, I have to draw the line.
Six Olives Lounge, I've had enough of you, and I'm now fully prepared to accept the responsibility of making you my enemy.
I've been in this establishment four times, and each time has been an absolute train wreck.
On two of the occasions, I was in the bar with several friends. We were ordering lots of drinks, and there were three other tables doing the same thing.
The owner did last call at 11 p.m.  WTF?
A statement I made then still rings true to this day: Apparently Six Olives doesn't like to make money.
On the third occasion, much to my demise, I met up with a group of friends there who assured me that it would probably go better this time around.
Yeah right.
I ordered a mojito, and the owner brought back this monster 32-ounce mamba jamba.  I told her that the 32-ouncer wasn't what I had ordered (I was actually trying to take it easy for a change) and that I just wanted a regular pint-sized mojito. The owner said, "Oh, I thought you said you wanted the Mondo Mojito." I assured her that I didn't, and she had the nerve to tell me that I needed to do a better job of distinguishing between the items on her menu. 
My friends said they'd buy the more expensive Mondo for me and implored me to simmer, but my heart rate was off the chart.
I sucked it up.
When the owner came back to our table, I asked if her kitchen was still open. She said it most certainly was and grabbed me a menu. I got all excited for a chicken burger, and a few minutes later when I was ready to throw down my order the owner said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess the kitchen is closed after all."
I walked out â€" cursing.
And what happened last night will go down in infamy.
Ten beautiful friends and I were going out to celebrate a birthday. I warned them about my experiences, but the crew wanted to go to Six Olives anyway.
The place was busy, and there were two open tables, but we all agreed that some of us could sit on the long couch, a few could stand, and we wanted to see if we could possibly occupy one of the tables.
Thank goodness I wasn't the one doing the negotiating.
The Six Olives staff told us that we couldn't take the tables because there were reservations in the hopper and that we couldn't stand there, even though we were in a corner and weren't in anyone's way.
My more-than-polite friend was perplexed and said, "So are you asking us to leave?"
They quickly answered with an assertive yes.
Six Olives, you can do me the honor of adding me to your 86d list. There's no way in hell that I'd ever drop a dime near your door again.
Six Olives, 2708 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, (253) 272-5574

Tell me where you like to party at Scene of the Crime.

PERMANENT LIPSTICK by Ginger Knoxx
So I ran into an old high school flame at an all-ages show last week. He was there with his kid, who sported a damn fine Mohawk (good job, dad). I was there to see the Broken Oars. It was surreal. I hadn't seen this guy but once since high school. We just kept laughing between randomly fired questions about what we'd been doing for the last 12 years. Looking at him made me remember what it was like to be 16, trying to master a kick flip on my mom's deck and staying out all night. Hell yeah!

Thursday, June 15
Having discovered that my ceiling had crumbled down under gallons of water from upstairs apartments and ruined a good portion of my prized possessions, rightly, the first thing on my mind was murder. The next was SHOTS - 'cuz what makes your problems disappear faster than booze? That's right, nothing. The pre-opening party at Syren Lounge was rad. I gawked at the finished interior. Christina and Chesty outdid themselves, and owner Chad got what he had set out for â€" a place women will flock to and feel comfortable in. The crowd was about as pretty as could be imagined, guys and girls alike. I felt like I'd walked onto the set of Where The Pretty Things Roam or a magazine shoot.  It was like being at The Loft, but for people over 30 with a good grasp of appropriate social behaviors (most of the time, heh). Bartender Dave was tall, dark and handsome and shook my hand firmly when Big Man introduced us. Half the boys of IDEFY made themselves at home in comfortable rocking deck chairs to watch the lovely parade of fashion-draped flesh. I snuck out early to meet Natasha and friends at El Gaucho for a little wind down time. Bartender Aaron knew exactly what I needed for my sore throat and hooked me up with warming Grand Marnier.

Friday, June 16
After a mani-pedi combo, I hustled to The Palace to change into something semi-glamorous. Arriving at Varsity Grill for Vegas Night, I was greeted by hot Natasha in her amazing black dress and sky-high heeled boots. Holy crap, she's like the Model Squad's lost member. Pappi Swarner was in residence with his lady, Miss Sparkly Eyes, Tommy C, Big Daddy Swarner and K-Bro for the Vegas Night outing. Volcano staffers gathered for the happy hour mixer, and I kept thinking, "So this is what the water cooler looks like around 2:30 p.m." Big Man beat me to the bar and was enjoying a beer by the time I was ready to order. The bartenders had no trouble talking me into a nerve soother of my usual vodie tall. Enter the Elvis impersonator and show girls. Cue mine and Natasha's snickers. I'd take fat Elvis over balding, brown haired Elvis any day.
We split for more Syren action since some in our party hadn't been yet. I treated Film club Jon to his very first Manhattan (made by the ever capable bartender Blue) and then talked his ear off until artist James Hume arrived to save him. Much of the who's who of Tacoma came by the club, including Jason, the seldom seen owner of Jazzbones, disguised as a beer delivery guy. We gabbed it up with Chesty, El Presidente, the very SF-esque Benders, Teddy Haggarty (who's showing his art), Murph (thanks for noticing my tatas), owner of PSP James and his lady. Kitchen manager Courtney even came by to inquire about our needs. It was so f'ing nice to be able to say everything was cool and mean it. Ebony did an amazing job cocktailing (what can't that woman do?). The witching hour came and went, and I braved the line for the ladies' room. Naja was on the dance floor getting her groove on to DJs Gene Lee and Sean Majors. The highlight of my night was seeing Miss Rainbow again.

Pink Mountain
If you like music easily mistaken for noise, this is your show. Pink Mountain is five guys who rock in a very loud, crazed way. One minute it's punk and squealing amps and shrieking guitar with synth. Then it's stoner metal morphing into acid rock on its way to the sound track of a serial killer movie complete with sense of impending doom and cold sweat. With this type of variance it makes sense that the majority of the show will be improvised. Fittingly, local act Kill Kill Orchestra will open with their own brand of musical mayhem. If you go, take earplugs. With Zu (members of The EX). Thursday, June 22, 8 p.m. all ages. $6-$8, Capitol Theater Backstage, 206 E. Fifth Ave., downtown Olympia, (360) 754-5378.

Fire and Water Sundries opened at 711 St. Helen’s Ave selling all things organic. For more information, check out on their Web site. â€" Jason de Paul

Come downtown this Sunday, if you dare, for the second annual Urban Art Festival.
You've probably seen the posters with the big, green, fire-breathing dragon. If you haven't seen them, you're probably living in the wrong century, or at least the wrong part of the South Sound. The dragon sets the stage and tells the tale that this is a youth-oriented event that promises to be as lurid and exciting as the poster (not to mention the funky man sculpture on the invitation to artists to enter the "urban Man" contest to build a man out of recycled materials - with promises that someone is entering a 24-foot-tall man).
Produced by BumbleBee Visions and L&M Artworks and friends, the festival starts at noon and goes till 8 p.m. Sunday, June 24, and will center on the corner of South 9th and Broadway in the theater district. It will feature art exhibits, music (both live and DJ), arts and crafts demonstrations, glass blowing, eco-awareness workshops, a live auction, food, dancing, performance art, healing arts practices and demonstrations, and more.
Bands on the bill include Clinton Fearon and Boogie Brown Band, Lazybones, Can U, Kate Borkowski, Pete Bush and the Hoi Polloi, Proper Godz, Umber Sleeping, High Ceiling, and Tangerine Space Odyssey. DJs include DJ D:Fi, Diamond, Suga Jones, DJ W, DJ Collin, Patchouli, Py, and more to be announced.
In a Myspace blog entry, festival coordinator Laura Eklund says, "The goal of the festival is to bring community awareness to the local arts and artists. We want to draw attention to downtown Tacoma and help local businesses. All of us really care about Tacoma and enjoy bringing people in the community together with our events."
She goes on to say, "We love collaborating with Tacoma merchants, artists, small business owners and councils. It feels so good to find so many people excited about Urban Art Festival and willing to help make it happen. We greatly appreciate all of your time and consideration for co-sponsorship."
At last count, there were almost 30 business and civic sponsors for the event, including such stalwart local businesses as the Weekly Volcano, urbanXchange, The Swiss, Jazzbones, and New Tacoma Neighborhood Council.
Sunday, June 24, noon to 8 p.m., free, South Ninth and Broadway, downtown Tacoma. â€" Alec Clayton

The Factory opening in the old Brickyard at Washington and 56th Street near South Tacoma Way is installing a massive 72-foot bar along its west wall.  The bartenders are going to need rollerskates. â€" Suzy Stump

Orlando Sentinel reports: A hundred bucks might buy you more than six dozen cheeseburgers from McDonald's, but none will compare to the brawny burger introduced Tuesday at the swanky Old Homestead Steakhouse.
"Delicious . . . messy . . . worth it."
Mayor Steven Abrams could barely speak between bites as he devoured the 20-ounce, $100 hamburger billed as the "beluga caviar of sandwiches."

Martin Henry Coffee will open in the new triangular building rising from the ground on at 7200 Steilacoom Blvd. next to Boyles Engine Repair. â€" Jason de Paul

The old Club Atlantis ressurects as Cedarwood around July 5.  A sportbar and grill inside a large dome, the club plans to feature country and rock music.  It is at 7040 Pacific Hwy. E. in Milton. â€" Brad Allen

My entire last week was spent counting down the days until I got to Sunday, June 25 â€" the divine day of the Urban Art Festival.
I had first heard about it when the dreamy Choptstix bartender, Eric, handed me a flyer for it a few weeks before the big extravaganza.
I ran into a few of the brilliant minds behind the project at Syren the night before.  Naturally, I started a chant on Syren's deck: "Urban Art!  Fest-Ah-Val!"
I accidentally went on to party until 5 a.m. on Saturday/Sunday.  It was one of those nights where playing Tool's "Opiate" over and over while screaming the lyrics made perfect sense.  BFF Aaron always brings out the best in me.
Obviously, I was dragging my heels a little on Sunday, but that just goes to show that nothing could've kept me away from the function.
I was delighted to find that the Urban Art Festival was just as cool as the posters around town implied.
The first part of my UAF adventure was spent buzzing around getting the lay of the land, while keeping an eye out to see if my homies had arrived.
I shook my tail feather to the reggae beats that Jason Diamond was spinnig at one end. I watched the bands that were sizzling right in the middle of it all.  I checked out the fancy jewelry, the antique furniture from Sanford and Son, live studio glass blowing and martial artists slinging paint on a canvas.
The primal need for nutrients eventually set in.  I knew exactly what would kick me into gear: The Tuscany calzone at Ravenous, or as I like to say, "Ravenous is fabulous," in my best snobby drawl.  Even better, presto, there were my friends â€" Chesty Meow and Bluecifer.
Following Ravenous, we made the no-brainer decision.  Beer garden, yo. It took a little while to get there because the event was a who's who amongst T-Town socialites like yours truly. When we finally arrived, I was happy to see that my precious Swiss bartenders were slinging the brews. Bluecifer and Chestified were busy introducing me to everyone they knew there, while we jointly pondered the fact that it's called a beer garden, but there aren't any plants or flowers.
What was both a bummer and a blessing for the event was the weather.  I personally prefer the mid-70s, and this 92-degree day was a scorcher.  I would've stayed much longer if it hadn't been so damn hot.  Regardless, I'd be willing to bet that the availability of sunshine brought even more people to the party.
Our UAF journey ended with what any red-blooded, overheated American would do â€" We went to Magoo's for booze and air conditioning.
I've got nothin but love for all of the people who organized and sponored the UAF.
I'll be counting down the days until next year. â€" Natasha

The Super Buffet opens Thursday in DuPont bringing a few new concepts to the area including a sushi bar as part of the buffet price.  They'll offer a buffet, sit down table service, plus "to go" by the pint and quart.  Lunch buffet is $7.29; dinner is $10.99.  A carry out buffet runs $3.59-$7.99 a pound.  It is at 975 Ross Ave.  More information at (253) 912-8889. â€" Jason de Paul