MATT DRISCOLL:PAYING ME TO DO THIS>>>
If you haven't heard yet, the Volcano is moving up in the world. We're growing. Come Thursday you're going to see us for the first time in our new, jacked up, super sexy new form. You're going to be blown away. It'll be like watching the Incredible Hulk bust out of his button-down shirt, only there will be an accompanying smell of vodka.

This expansion has come with new responsibilities for me. For instance, now I deliver a quad shot Americano to Pappi Swarner's office every morning and hope not to get whipped. Before it was only a double shot, though there was still the ever present fear of a Swarner beat down.

Also, they want me to blog. Daily. I'm going to be on this here Spew so often you won't know what to do. I sure as hell won't know what to do. I'm sure it won't be long before I'm taking camera phone pictures of my daughter's dirty diapers for all of Volcano Land to enjoy.

But I'm tired tonight. With a bigger paper comes more writing, and today kicked my ass. It's time for a drink.

Speaking of drinks, did you hear the liquor store on 38th street is moving? Yep. Soon it'll be two whole blocks closer to my house. The new location is at the corner of 38th and Pacific. Check out all the info here.

BRAD ALLEN: WILDSIDE THROWN WAYSIDE >>>

Show Media's Joey Gingerella announced via MySpace that the Ron Jeremy’s 3 Ring Circus show tomorrow at Club Vertigo will not include Motley Crüe tribute band Wildside.

Here is Joey G’s statement:

    “The band scheduled to play Wildside misrepresented themself as #1Motley Crue tribute band, Wildside, They are a different band out of Isanti, MN (terrible musicians) The truth of our dealings with this band is they called lied and misrepresented themself and were canceled due to band misrepresentation and are not a professional or a quality act.

    So we have to protect our patrons from what we would call a waste of money at our venue this is just our opinion, but judge for yourself if you hear them it is almost painful. So the tribute band is bad mouthing our company that books 100s of show up and down the west coast and Hawaii ligitimate national acts such as, Sevendust, Powerman 5000, Alien Ant Farm, Hed PE and hundreds of other original acts.

    Sorry Wildside we would rather have Kareoke night before subjecting our patrons to your band.”

Volcano scribe Angela Jossy quizzed Joey G on the status of said show.

"Ron Jeremy and the show is still all good to go, just kick wildside off show," Joey G wrote via MySpace.

The Weekly Volcano is sponsoring this Circus.  While most planned on witnessing Jeremy’s antics more than a tribute band, the Volcano does apologize for those who counted on a Crüe tribute. After all, opening bands Atomic Outlaws, Basic Radio and the Dead Poets are so worthy.

STAGE
The Acting Company
Tacoma native David Foubert of New York’s The Acting Company stages “Moby Dick ‘Rehearsed’” and William Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” at Theater on the Square beginning tonight.  The Acting Company is coming to Tacoma for a four-day residency, first mounting its production of Orson Welles’ adaptation of the Herman Melville classic about a great white whale and the whaling captain obsessed with killing it. Foubert describes the work as a “deconstruction” â€" a production stripped of many of the usual trappings of staged dramatizations â€" and replacing them with bare stages and minimal props.

The other “deconstructed” play in the tour’s repertoire is Shakespeare’s “The Tempest,” which centers on an exiled wizard â€" Prospero â€" who draws his greatest enemies to his island prison for a final showdown.

[Theatre on the Square, “Moby Dick ‘Rehearsed” 7:30 p.m., Feb. 6 and 7; “The Tempest,” 7:30 p.m., Feb. 8 and 3 and 7:30 p.m. Feb. 9, $20-$34, 915 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894, www.broadwaycenter.org]

ROCK
Ron Jeremy’s 3 Ring Circus
When I was first asked to write about Ron Jeremy for the music section, I asked, “The porn star?” With the typical ’70s porn soundtrack thumping in my brain, I questioned, “Is he going to sing, dance, MC?"

Who knows. Maybe all three. Who knew he was more than a big, um … porn star.

Jeremy and three rock bands comprise Ron Jeremy’s 3 Ring Circus, which hits Club Vertigo tonight. The advertisement in the Weekly Volcano states, “Bands, Comedy, Girls” as part of the night.

With special guests Basic Radio, Dead Poets and Atomic Outlaws and chicks, don’t forget the chicks, the night is sure to be sinfully satisfying. â€" Tony Engelhart

[Club Vertigo, 9 p.m., $15, 5240 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.678.3593]

ROCK
Eric McFadden Trio
Most bandleaders would rage if their bass player could tap a fretboard like a maniac, stealing all the glory.  Bassist James Whiton would piss off his share of prima donnas.  The tall drink of water drives an amplified acoustic double bass with his foot floored on the synth pedal and his hands slapping for speed.  But considering his “leader” is guitar god Eric McFadden (Parliament/Funkadelic) and fellow drummer Paulo Baldi (Les Claypool, Cake, Ottmar Liebert) merges 4/4 rock rhythms with world beats, Whiton will receive only a third of the crowd’s eyeballs tonight at Jazzbones.  (That calculation could be off slightly since I have seen my share of lazy eyes in this town.) 

The Eric McFadden Trio has the recipe for a good show:  Take one part world beat/hand drummer, one part classical-trained acoustic electronic bassist and one part indie rock band guitarist who tours with George Clinton and fuse them with the sounds of the Jimi Hendrix Experience, Black Sabbath, Cream, Tom Waits and Django Reinhardt.  Let stew all night with spaghetti western composer Sergio Leone â€" serve hot after jam has risen to the top. It’s a heady, filling concoction.   The result is more fun than watching someone attempting to retrieve a card from a non-cooperating ATM. â€" Ron Swarner

[Jazzbones, with Twilight Drive, 7 p.m., $5-$7, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]

BOBBLE TIKI: PALLIATE, FAT WEDNESDAY, INTERNET MOMS >>>

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it spell it
Palliate \PAL-ee-ayt\, transitive verb:

1. To reduce in violence (said of diseases, etc.); to lessen or abate.
2. To cover by excuses and apologies; to extenuate.
3. To reduce in severity; to make less intense.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki is no doctor, but if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that there’s nothing like 8 or 9 cans of Bud Ice to palliate the pain of one’s seemingly miserable existence. It works every time.

THE MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: Hope for the Murray Morgan 

SEATTLE: Expensive scenery

NEW ORLEANS: Hulk flashing his pecks for beads

NATION: Winds of Change on Super Tuesday?

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: As you should have read on the Spew earlier this morning, Ron Jeremy’s Three Ring Circus will not include the Motley Crue tribute band Wildside. If you care to find out why, check out Joey G’s explanation below. If you were planning on rocking out to your favorite Crue tunes, and no Wildside leaves a void in your evening, consider checking out Woven at Hell’s Kitchen or the Eric McFadden Trio at Jazzbones. Neither act is a Motley Crue Tribute band. They’re better.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight

INTERNET MOMS: Probably not the kind you usually search for.

THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Bobble Tiki interviewed New Orleans piano legend Henry Butler a few days ago, but you'll have to wait until Thursday to get your grubby hands on a copy. Until then, here's a taste:

"Blinded by glaucoma since birth, Butler has never been one to be kept down by the challenges of life. The fact that, in addition to his musical career, Butler is also a world class photographer whose work has been exhibited all over the country is just one of many examples of this fact. When the murky water of Katrina flooded him from his home, Butler simply adjusted - packing up his surviving belongings and heading to Boulder, Colorado. After a year there, Butler relocated to Denver where he spoke with Bobble Tiki by phone earlier this week."

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs six days a week now. Deal with it.

MATT DRISCOLL: A GRAND EVENT AT THE GRAND >>>

With Kimya Dawson’s Weekly Volcano sponsored show at the Grand Theater this Sunday quickly approaching, I caught up with the Grand’s Director of Community Development, Rachel Marecle, to discuss the big event.
Here’s a taste:

Weekly Volcano: How did this performance come to be? Whose idea was it and why did people want to make it happen?
Rachel Marecle: Our executive director, Philip Cowan, approached me with an article from The Olympian highlighting Kimya Dawson and her musically involvement with the movie, Juno.  He immediately asked me to see if I could get her to perform or do something with the Grand Cinema in conjunction with the current movie playing, Juno.  The Grand Cinema has been showing Juno for 7 weeks now and it just seemed like a natural tie between a local musician and the local non-profit art house film theater.

WV: It's awesome that the Grand is showing Juno and bringing in Kimya Dawson. How do the two compliment each other?
Marecle:  It is the perfect compliment - The Grand Cinema is Pierce County's only non-profit art house film theater with a mission to enhance the cultural vitality of our community through the art of film.  How better to express that than a live performance from a local musician whose music is highlighted throughout an Oscar-nominated movie.  That is truly enhancing our community with art - both through film and music, which is what makes the art of film so amazing because it usually always ties in other elements of art (whether it be literature, music, performance, visual, etc.)

WV: How much longer will Juno be running at the Grand?
Marecle: It’s hard to predict exactly, but at least one or two more weeks.

WV: What can people expect from a musical performance at the Grand - something most people have probably never seen?
Marecle: Good question.  It should be very intimate and entertaining.  You will definitely get an up close look at Kimya and be able to enjoy her music.  We hope to even get a few minutes of Q&A with her.

WV: Will we see more music at the Grand, or is this a special thing?
Marecle: This event and performance is definitely something special.  I am not sure if The Grand has done anything like this before, but I can tell you that we are always looking for unique opportunities to share with our loyal patrons of The Grand.

WV: What has the reaction been?
Marecle: The reaction has been great.  The Juno soundtrack just hit number one and people are very excited that a local musician is part of that success.  Coupled with the fact they get to see her perform at The Grand and support their local non-profit movie theater...it’s a win-win for everyone.

Kimya Dawson will play the Grand Theater this Sunday. For more info look here.

STEPH DEROSA: DERBY DIARIES >>>

It’s typically the beers that bring out the best ideas in men, and this beer-minded creation is one of the best I’ve ever heard: Men’s roller derby league. No, I’m not kidding. Finally I can watch men compete in something I love, something I know, something that gets me all hot and bothered. I’m talking roller skating!

Come March 8, the greater Puget Sound area will witness history as it’s made. Together in the Tacoma Soccer Center, four men’s roller derby teams will compete in the ultimate inaugural match known as “Throwdown in the Sound.” I bet you didn’t even know men’s roller derby existed, did you? That’s what I’m here for, you can thank me later.

The men’s Puget Sound Outcast Derby League was formed about a year ago by Chuck “Hollywood” Bury in partnership with other roller derby refs, coaches and speed skaters. There was no immediate shortage of male skaters in the area, and the team was formed almost immediately. Together with a few other men, one being Heywood Jablowme, they set a goal of having this “Throwdown in the Sound.”

Amongst the men’s teams present at this amazing competitive showdown are: Diamond City Death Kings (Pennsylvania), Twin City Terrors (Minnestota) and Dallas Deception (Texas). About five other teams from around the nation will be representing that night, as they will be split between the already four competing teams.

One HUGE surprise I had as I chatted with Mister Heywood Jablowme was that the OSDA (Old School Derby Association) is sending a hall-of-famer to skate a demo and talk derby at the men’s bout. Judy Sowinski aka “Queen of Mean” or “Polish Ace” will be there showin’ you guys the way it went down in the 1950s, old school style. Not the hokey shit from the 1970s, but the real stuff.

Be prepared to join me, and be amazed on March 8 at the Soccer Center. If you’re smart, you’ll get your ticket’s now, and if you’re even smarter you’ll contact these guys and help volunteer.

And as always: You can buy your Dockyard Derby Dames Feb. 24 Expo bout tickets or help volunteer with me as your volunteer guide.

MATT DRISCOLL: LAUGHS AT PEOPLE'S MISTAKES>>>

If Ted Haggard, former pastor of the massive New Life Church in Colorado, approaches you on the street and tells you he's had his spirit restored after all that  homosexuality and meth you heard about in the news - don't believe him. He's lying. Check out the story here.

CHARLES MONROE: WASHINGTON STATE 2007 FORECLOSURES >>>

Pierce County led the state in housing foreclosures in 2007, according to a national report from California-based RealtyTrac, with foreclosure activity there increasing 43 percent compared to 2006. Thurston County auditor’s records showed similar increases.

Washington ranked 21st in the nation in foreclosure filings, with .57 percent of homeowners in the process of losing their homes. Foreclosures in Washington totaled more than 23,000 in 2007, an increase of 28 percent. Though the Pierce County economy and home markets remain relatively stable, the community’s abundance of low-income residents has made it a hot spot for lending trouble.

A slough of bills has been introduced this legislative session that would address what some observers claim is the root cause of the explosion of foreclosures â€" shady mortgages. Two bills come directly from proposals made by the governor following a year-long investigation of lending practices in Washington state. Senate Bill 6272 recommends the creation of $1.5 million in emergency funds for homeowner counseling. House Bill 2770 forwards 23 recommendations from a governor-appointed taskforce, including requiring simple language in foreclosure notices, mandating notification of counseling options in foreclosure notices, and making mortgage loan crimes felonies. Senate bills 6381 and 6471 would seek to regulate mortgage brokers and establish fiduciary responsibility to borrowers.