PAUL SCHRAG: NEW YEAR’S EVE PERFORMANCE >>>

So, who better to help ring in a year that is sure to be one of the most memorable and tumultuous we’ve seen in decades? How about Lynn Di Nino, backed by Doug Mackey and Laura and Matt Ecklund? Yeah, cosmic shit’s going down on New Year’s, and it’s called Hi Jack.

It will begin New Year’s Eve in front of Sanford and Son on Broadway, with throngs of people in various states of intoxication â€" from sober (it's First Night Tacoma after all!) to whatever state Alan Gorsuch will be in by 2 a.m. They will gather before what people at the port call a TEU â€" or 20-foot-equivalent â€" container. You know, the big metal boxes you can see stacked across the Foss. Audience members are encouraged to bring an instrument made from recycled plastic of some sort â€" a milk jug filled with gravel will allow you to participate, says Di Nino. Audience members also are invited to bring a piece of bread or toast, which will be toasted atop the container in a bank of special toasters. We don’t know what makes them special, or what they’ll do to your toast, but we promise you’ll end up with some magic mf’n toast. So you can toast in the New Year. Got it?

Doug Mackey, flanked by dancers, will be on board to rile up the audience, who are expected to make their plastic instruments sing, bang, shake and whistle to a point of blessed cacophony, which we all hope will trigger the money shot â€" a gigantic puppet, crafted  by Laura Ecklund and crew, that will burst out of the container, sending Mackey flying through the air into a vat of goat brie (I made that last part up).

For those of you not tempted by sheer awesomeness, there will be souvenirs too.

“We know that people love souvenirs, so we had to come up with something,” says Di Nino. “We’re not saying what, but they’re going straight up in the air.”

[Hi Jack, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 8:30-10 p.m., Sanford and Son, between Seventh and Ninth on Broadway, downtown Tacoma]

LINK: First Night Tacoma New Year’s Eve celebration

STEPH DEROSA: WELCOME TO SLOW BURN >>>

Tea Leaf Restaurant
Hot Pepper Chicken Dices: $7.99
Burn factor: two out of four
 

I love two hot things: men and food. I’ve written plenty on hot men. I figure if I write about hot food, Pappi Swarner will pay for my meals.

I was right. Sucker.

I braved Arctic Blast 2008 and slowly made my way to  the Tea Leaf, which sits next to Parkland’s educational claim to fame â€" Pacific Lutheran University.  Noted for it’s delicious and authentic Chinese food, I scanned the menu for all things spicy.  I wanted that “slow burn.” 

How obvious could they have made my choice for dinner? 

Very obvious. 

Hot Pepper Chicken Dices was the only dish on the menu that actually had the word “hot” in the title. To make it even clearer, they put (spicy hot) in parenthesis next to it.

And spicy it was.  Flavor fulfilled every taste bud in my mouth beginning with the first bite.  Not bad.  The second bite was just as tasty as the first, so I kept going.  By the third consecutive bite I felt the burn.  It was a balanced burn that didn’t kick my ass, but definitely let me know it was there.  Bandito Betty’s lips began to blaze, and we both went for our water glass.

As the dish cooled down in temperature, so did the heat of the peppers.  Hot Pepper Chicken Dices have the perfect combination of flame and flavor, a dish I could easily see myself becoming addicted to.

Check back next Friday for another round of Slow Burn. Keep your eye on Spew for stories about hot men, too. You know I’m still going there.

[Tea Leaf, 528 Garfield St. S., Parkland/Tacoma, 253.531.5232]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

BRAD ALLEN: GOOD GRIEF â€" PAPPI’S SWARNER’S JUKEBOX >>>

For the last three weeks Pappi Swarner has been spinning that damn Charlie Brown record by Vince Guaraldi. This time every year Pappi finds nostalgic pleasure in Charlie Brown's decades-old Christmas cartoon. He admires the brainy Linus and his ragged blanket; sympathizes with the indecisive Charlie Brown, whose self-inquisition define him as a ringer for a future writer; he adores the shrill Lucy, who wears her heart on her sleeve for Schroeder, the Beethoven devotee; and then there's Sally, who has a moribund, blunt interpretation of her emotions; and finally Snoopy, that cantankerous pooch with clear logic and moody dramatics in every bark.

Good grief times.

Anyway, it’s Friday afternoon at the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters and our nostalgic leader Pappi is in full-blown holiday cheer. He’s fired up his jukebox, and what a surprise, more freakin’ Guaraldi-like music. Thankfully, today he added a twist to Guaraldi’s “Linus and Lucy” tunes.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

OWEN TAYLOR: TIME TO HELP OUT AN OLD FRIEND >>>

Crisco, Olympia's hottest and nastiest freak-a-thon will play host to a benefit for the Reef tonight at the Royal Lounge. On Nov 12, a kitchen fire stopped the Reef dead in its tracks, forcing nearly 30 people out of jobs in the already dreary employment scene that is downtown Olympia. The benefit is a chance for the denizens of Olympia to pay a $2 cover that will directly benefit the workers and restaurant by helping get it up and running as soon as possible - so downtown late-nighters will have someplace to get cheese fries after the bars close. On the wheels of steel will be master of ceremony and resident Dance Attack!! Come support those who have supported your need for a double decker burger and a Bloody Mary at 8 a.m. by getting down and dirty at what will surely be the biggest pre-New Year's dance party in downtown Olympia.

[The Royal Lounge, 10 p.m. $2 donation to the Reef, 311 Capital Way. N., 360.705.0760]

OWEN TAYLOR: MOS GENERATOR WILL CRUSH YOU TONIGHT AT HK >>>

Look at you. What are we gonna do with you? You thought it was safe, no one was looking, no one was paying attention. You thought that between Chinese Democracy and “screamo,” you might just be invisible. Maybe you could get away with it, go and flip up the hairdo and wardrobe, thinking it might be OK to add a little eyeliner and some leopard print to the mix and try and slip unnoticed into some throwback wuss rock phase of your silly existence. Are you kidding me? You think we wouldn’t notice? Quit squirming, nerd. You’re only making it harder on yourself. I’ll let you out of this headlock on one condition: You’re gonna shotgun this tallcan, get your hoodie on, go get in the Firebird, spark that pinner, and go see Mos Generator crush Hell’s Kitchen with me. The BulletBoys sucked the first time, dillhole. Get in the car. NO WHINING!!!

[Hell’s Kitchen, Mos Generator, The Jet City Fix, Blood Hunger, Vista Switch, 9 p.m., no cover before 9 p.m., $5 after, 3829 Sixth Ave, Tacoma, 253.759.6003]

HARVEY SIDERS: THE NEW SMITHFIELD TRIO AT BEN MOORE'S >>>

Three decades ago, Olympia’s 10-piece Latin jazz band, Obrador (meaning workshop), helped bridge the cultural gap between the United States and Cuba. That pulsating experiment begat the Caribbean-flavored quartet, Ocho Pies (translation: “eight feet” â€" the standard number found in most quartets.) This may sound like the law of diminishing returns, but Ocho Pies begat the New Smithfield Trio, who’ll be playing at Ben Moore’s Restaurant in Olympia tonight. That threesome â€" the original rhythm section for Obrador â€" remains intact, and you can hear how the experimental pulsations have also remained intact. Pianist Michael Moore, son of the late Ben Moore; bassist Steve Luceno; and drummer Steve Bentley were booked by Michael Olson, who not only books all the bands at Ben Moore’s, but also founded Obrador, for whom he played conga drums. Why Smithfield? Olson told me, “That was the original name of Olympia.”

[Ben Moore’s, The New Smithfield Trio, Syd Potter, Steve Munger, 9 p.m., no cover, 112 Fourth Ave., Olympia, 360.357.7257]

LAUREN NAPIER: LEFT ALIVE LEAVES THE STAGE AFTER TONIGHT >>>

Every band comes to an end at some point in time: it’s the natural course of events. But when that band has been an active staple in a local music scene, the loss is felt more personally. After losing one member to music school in California and another to personal reasons, the remaining members of Left Alive have decided to, as their drummer, Tim, refers to the situation, “call it a done deal.” The band’s music is influenced by the likes of Children of Bodom, Killswitch Engage, and Lamb of God. Playing such heavy music leads to a live show that is “very intense” with the occasional “cartwheels while playing … lots of headbanging … like a 30-minute deck in the face,” explains the band. Sounds painful â€" which is why the band's final show tonight at the Viaduct is expected to have “a ton of moshing and a huge amount of crowd participation.” This will be a show worth attending â€" to send out the guys of Left Alive in style and with a worthy (head)bang.

[The Viaduct, Left Alive, I Declare War, Gift of Prephecy, Culling the Weak, 7 p.m., all ages, $5, 5412 South Tacoma Way, 253.472.1948]

BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP 20 >>>