MICHAEL SWAN: WANKERS OF THE DAY >>>

Charles Walter Nettlebeck

Say it: AIG!

Dick(head) Cheney again

President Dmitri A. Medvedev

JAKE DE PAUL: TUESDAY FOOD LINKS >>>

St. Patrick’s Day’s parties can be found here.

With a name like McManus, it must be tasty today.

Beard Foundation will announce 2009 award nominees March 23. On Twitter.

New study says mushrooms are a cancer-blocking food.

Seriously? Boxed water?

Today’s South Sound Specials

Tightwad Tuesdays with $2 tacos, $2 beers, and $2 wells, Hell’s Kitchen, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003.

Wine Tuesday, 20 percent off bottles wines on regular list, Toscanos Cafe and Wine Bar, 437 29th St. N.E., Puyallup, 253.864.8600.


Future Things Are Coming

The 2005 recipient of the Best Chef Northwest Award from the James Beard Foundation and co-owner of the awesome Paley’s Place in Portland Vitaly Paley will share his favorite dishes Friday, March 20 at the Bayview School of Cooking in Olympia. Before the 6 p.m. class, Paley will sign copies of his book, Paley’s Place, beginning at 5 p.m. The cost is $75. Reserve your spot at 360.754.1448.

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide.

BOBBLE TIKI: THE RED HOT GOES DRY >>>

If you're a hop-head like Bobble Tiki, then you'll have your head honed in on The Red Hot's handles beginning March 25 when its Dry Hop Fest kicks off. No, not dry hump. Bobble Tiki wrote dry hop, which means brewers add whole leaf hops directly into the fermenter for a spicy hoppiness. Generous dry hopping gives beer an abundant hop aroma and crisp hop flavor.

I asked local breweries to make dry-hopped versions of their beer,explains Chris Trashcan, owner of The Red Hot.Most dry hop versions are just IPAs, but I did this so everyone can get in on the fun.  We'll have tasting/info sheets for people who want them. 

How long will the festival run?

We tap all of these kegs on the morning of March 25, and let-em go until they blow, explains Trashcan.

Here is a list of what you can expect:

Port Townsend Quadruple Dry Hopped Hop Diggidy IPA
Schooner Exact Dry Hopped 3 Grid IPA
Fish Tale Double Dry Hopped Organic IPA
Two Beers Dry Hopped 20/20 Blonde
Port Townsend Double Dry Hopped Reel Amber
Hales Ales Dry Hopped Pale Ale
Port Townsend Dry Hopped Brown Porter
Elysian The Wise Dry Hopped ESB
Port Townsend Dry Hopped Nitro Strait Stout
Big Al's Dry Hopped Herberts Ale Cask

[The Red Hot, Wednesday, March 25, 2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.0229]

ERIK EMERY HANBERG: TECH  AND THE ENVIRONMENT >>>

Predicting the future is hazardous business. But let me venture a guess anyway: the two biggest forces that will shape the future of Tacoma and Pierce County are the environment and technology.

The first force, the environment, is easier to grasp how it will shape our community. The state of our air, water, and land â€" not to mention the sea level of the Sound â€" will affect our quality of life in very visceral, tangible ways. It affects our health, the willingness of businesses to relocate or start here, the number of tourists we get, and our own enjoyment of our home.

The technological forces that shape our region are much harder to figure out. How will Twitter change our interactions? How would cheap solar power transform our way of life? Could new rail technology radically alter our port? What are the chances the next Intel or Amazon or Apple is based out of Tacoma? (Hint: not very likely.) These are all big questions, questions I’ll be looking at in future columns.

But I needed some place to start in order to tackle this mammoth topic. That place was Austin, Texas, host to SXSWi (short for South By Southwest Interactive), a conference dedicated to “emerging technology.” If there’s any single place where you can start to get some idea about what’s coming down the pike, Austin in March is that place.

At their core, the panels all seem to ask the same question: “Where is all this going?” I heard a lot of answers. But the most startling came from experts in mobile gaming and moviemaking. They proposed that the mouse and keyboard will no longer be the dominant method of interacting with computers.

For as radical as that suggestion sounds, we’re already far into the process. Think of the iPhone, with its pinching and brushing navigation. Think of a Wii remote, which can act as a tennis racket, a steering wheel, or a maraca depending on the game. Think of voice dialing on cell phones. Even think of the “Good-to-Go” microchip that collects a toll when you cross the Narrows Bridge.

These technologies get data from body heat, motion, voice, and radio tags. For as new as they are, they are commonly used in everyday devices. As these technologies improve and get combined together in new ways, our daily experience with computers has the potential to be radically transformed.

Is it too far of a leap to imagine Apple adding a small radio scanner to iPhones, allowing people to pull information from chips implanted in products? What if you could just hold your phone up to a pair of shoes and find out whether it’s a “green product,” where it was made, and what the average rating is on Amazon? I can already find all that information on my phone standing in a store â€" but the inclusion of a small scanner would totally change the likelihood that I’d do it. If it sounds far fetched, consider that an iPhone barcode scanner is already for sale. A radio tag scanner can’t be far behind. ...

Of course, shopping is one small part of the transformations we might see. But I think it’s a good illustration of how current technologies have the potential to radically transform our behaviors with just minor changes and upgrades.

I’ll be jumping into the world of tech and the environment when I’m back from Austin. I have lots of questions about “what’s next.” Let’s start looking for people in Tacoma who might have some of the answers.

CHUCK DULA: VEGAS SUCKS, LIKE SPINNING >>>

Editor's Note: As you may recall (and despite the fact he mysteriously disappeared last week to run off to Vegas without turning in a column) Weekly Volcano scribe Chuck Dula struck a deal with a bisexual female friend of his. If he can lose 25 pounds by May 1, then said friend - and another female to be determined later - will have a three-way with Mr. Dula. That's what I call inspiration. Chuck will be chronicling his weight loss efforts every Tuesday here on Spew. Below you'll find the latest installment in Chuck's quest to be less fat and have sex with two women at the same time. Enjoy.

Beginning weight 183.5

Note: I spent four day in Las Vegas during this period of time. It was an interesting experience and I was even able to maintain the weight that I had previously held. However, May 1 is fast approaching and I am now behind schedule. With that in mind, here is a recap of the prior two weeks.

I started doing something that no 20-something male should ever do. I started doing the “spinning” class very Tuesday and Thursday morning. For those of you who do not know what “spinning” is, it is when a crazy-in-shape, sweat-coated, instructor, consistently beats you at a race where you’re not moving. I am the Richie Sexson of non-moving bicycles, but I must say that this is quite a workout and I consistently lose up to two pounds of water weight during each session.

Now let’s talk about hell desert.

I don’t like Las Vegas. I don’t like the music they play…anywhere. I don’t like the casinos with bland musical acts and bland comedians and bland buffets. I’ve never been to a place that tries harder to not offend you while at the same time tries to get you to commit biblical sin. A bum asked me for $20 inside the casino that I was staying at. $20!!! Inside a casino!!! That would be like walking into a liquor store and having a completely wasted bum, with an empty fifth in his hand, ask you for $20.

Ending Weight 183.5

PREVIOUS 25 POUNDS TO FREEDOM COLUMNS ON SPEW

LINK: Jared can suck it

LINK: Chuck gets fatter

LINK: Racquetball is hard

LINK: Losing weight and three-way sex

STEPH DEROSA: ERIN GO THIS >>>

Last year I bitched and moaned and broke some sort of record as to how many times I could use the word “fuck” in one column. I griped about how stupid it was that we hate on people for not wearing green. Yes, I let my daughter wear green today â€" I wouldn’t deprive her of these silly childhood customs. But to inflict pain on others for not sporting a certain color on a certain day â€" like a gang? We aren’t even Irish! C’mon now, people. Think about how wrong that is on so many levels.

Today I am all bent out of shape again. Here we are in the midst of another St. Patrick’s Day, and I think people really blow it out of proportion.

Yes, if you’re Irish or of Irish descent â€" Erin Go Braugh! Drink it up! Wear the hell outta that shamrock green leprechaun shit and drink yourself into a week-long hospital stay! Seriously, if you’re Irish, I salute you. Doyle’s having a party? Paddy Coyne’s having a party? Hell yeah! They have good reason to be throwing a shindig today.

But hasn’t it all gotten lost in translation somewhere? Have you any idea what religious impact St. Patrick had? Or what the shamrock was supposedly used for? Are you of Irish descent? Or is St. Patrick’s Day just a reason for you to get shitty drunk mid week? Hell, if I want to get wasted on color-tinted beer, why can’t I have a purple Bud Light on May 19? Do I really need a reason?

My point is: The days like St. Patrick’s Day are on our calendars for us to celebrate a culture. Today, I ask you to recognize Ireland’s history and the effect it had on this world when you drink your green beer. Don’t be a stupid fuck. Don’t be “that guy” who is out acting the moron just because society tells you today’s a good day to get wasted.

Two other celebrated culture days that Americans lose in translation and use as an excuse to get shitfaced:

Cinco de Mayo â€" Did you know that Americans celebrate Mexican's victory over the French more than Mexico does?

Oktoberfest â€" You just drink German beer and eat sausages during this time, don’t you? C’mon, admit it. Or are you truly recognizing the German culture for what it’s contributed to our country?

And although this is not used as a day to drink necessarily, you don’t even want to get me started on Valentine’s Day. The dude (St. Valentine) was beheaded, and we make this a day to buy candy and flowers for our loved ones? Do I need a day to tell me to do that?

Here’s a question for the atheists who are out drinking today: Are you aware of the religious impact St. Patrick had in history? Basically, you’re celebrating a Catholic Saint. Drink up!

BOBBLE TIKI: DON'T DRINK GREEN BEER TONIGHT >>>

Bobble Tiki will be bendin’ an elbow tonight. To get himself in the proper mood, he’s looping the best Irish rock band ever, the standard-bearer, a group not from Tacoma or Olympia, but Ahhr-land: The Pogues.

MICHAEL SWAN: WHITE TRASH CIRCUS >>>

“This is what we imagined when we came up with the idea of Crüe Fest last summer â€" putting together the most kick ass bands on one bill for a day of rock.  All of the bands on this tour compliment the others â€" musically, theatrically and passionately,” says Mötley Crüe’s Nikki Sixx in a press release.

Oh, I'm sure there will be passion.

Mötley Crüe announced the line up today for their second annual Summer Festival tour, Crüe Fest 2, which will land at White River Amphitheatre July 27. The line up features Mötley Crüe, Godsmack, Theory of a Deadman, Drowning Pool and Charm City Devils.

Tickets are $29.50-$95. They will go on sale Saturday morning at 10 a.m. through Live Nation.

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

Crying over spilled hydraulic oil.

News Tribune: Pierce County jobless rate hits 22-year high.

Is Expedia really looking to fly away with Google?

Oh, this is huge. The EPA will set the stage for the first-ever national regulation of CO2 in US history.

McCain says he doesn’t remember backing the bailout during a Twitterview.

Bobble Tiki is starved for attention. Maybe he’ll pay the paparazzi for some.

Well, since it starts tomorrow. Let’s get fired up.