THE DAILY WORD
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Virago \vuh-RAH-go; vuh-RAY-go\, noun:

1. A woman of extraordinary stature, strength, and courage.

2. A woman regarded as loud, scolding, ill-tempered, quarrelsome, or overbearing.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Hillary Clinton is both an amazing virago, and a real cut-throat virago. Take your pick.

THE MORNING NEWS

9/11: Heads bow in memory.

MAKAH: Not a whale of a story.

GERMANY: Traffic free-for-all.

HIGH SCHOOL: Flower child be gone!

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Bobble Tiki would like to take this opportunity to seize just a tiny bit of credit from Top Heavy Crush’s recent victory in KISW’s “American Idiot” local band competition. Twice Bobble Tiki has instructed you when and where to vote for Top Heavy Crush, and twice people have listened…at least you can’t prove they haven’t. Now that Top Heavy Crush has been voted the top local rock band around the sound by BJ Shea in the morning, by default, Bobble Tiki believes this means Top Heavy Crush should pay Bobble Tiki back.

Is two groupies too much to ask?

Bobble Tiki thinks not.

Check Top Heavy Crush out this Saturday at Club Vertigo.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
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Neophyte \NEE-uh-fyt\, noun:

1. A new convert or proselyte.
2. A novice; a beginner in anything.

USAGE EXAMPLE: While Bobble Tiki admits he’s a political neophyte â€" never having paid attention to politics in his life â€" still, this whole Fred Thompson thing seems pretty weird to him. Bobble Tiki just can’t imagine electing District Attorney Arthur Branch from “Law and Order” to the presidency. Brisco or McCoy maybe, but not Arthur Branch.

THE MORNING NEWS

BUSH: Future of Iraq.

SENATOR: Too much free time.

VANESSA: Please apologize to Bobble Tiki in person.

ROBBERY: Wax on, wax off!

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: There are plenty of good things to do tonight. 3 Inches of Blood will play the Kitchen early in the day, and Broken Oars will play later. Finn Riggins will be at Le Voyeur. There’s a benefit at the Java Jive, and a show at the Manium. Even Steve Stefanowicz will be at the Mandolin Café. Thing is, none of this matters, because all Bobble Tiki will be doing is lurking around the Tacoma Dome, trying to get his sexy autographed by J.T. Will he see you there?

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE ARTS: Music and Murals.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Imagine Bobble Tiki’s excitement upon seeing the amazing group of talent lined up to perform at Jazzbones this Sunday, Sept. 9. Before the now standard “Big Friction Jam” (which happens every Sunday night at Jazzbones), Tom Landa and Kendel Carson of the Paperboys, Vicci Martinez, and Danny Godinez will sit down for what may end up as one of the most memorable Songwriters in the Round performances yet.

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
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Tintinnabulation \tin-tih-nab-yuh-LAY-shuhn\, noun:

A tinkling sound, as of a bell or bells.

USAGE EXAMPLE: It was Christmas Eve, and the group of German youths could hardly believe their ears when what they thought was the tintinnabulation of slay bells emanated from the alley they stood next to. As it turned out, however, the tintinnabulation was only a drunken David Hasselhoff taking a major jagermeister leak.

THE MORNING NEWS

JERUSALEM: Stay out Syria.

PAVAROTTI: Figaro no more.

AUNT: Old person smell to the max.

BUSTED: Six feet over.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Bobble Tiki doesn’t know much about the world of local rap, but he has listened to KEXP enough times to know tonight’s show at the Clipper in Olympia with  Xperience, Grayskul, Q-Storm, Qwest, Smoke Of Oldominion, and Macklemore will surely be too legit to quit. Of course, Bobble Tiki also knows you’ll have to pray just to make it today, but that’s neither here nor there. MC Hammer jokes are funny, but www.myspace.com/macklemore is better. Even better, the show tonight should top both of them.   

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE EVENT: Do the Puyallup.

THE ARTS: Studio 21 sees dead people.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Imagine Bobble Tiki’s excitement upon seeing the amazing group of talent lined up to perform at Jazzbones this Sunday, Sept. 9. Before the now standard “Big Friction Jam” (which happens every Sunday night at Jazzbones), Tom Landa and Kendel Carson of the Paperboys, Vicci Martinez, and Danny Godinez will sit down for what may end up as one of the most memorable Songwriters in the Round performances yet.

OK, Bobble Tiki apologizes.  Please be his friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Pablum \PAB-luhm\, noun:

Something (as writing or speech) that is trite, insipid, or simplistic.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Before Bobble Tiki began his career at the Weekly Volcano, he had plenty of odd jobs â€" like stocking the shelves of a Target, and being a valet at a swanky hotel. Bobble Tiki always shows up to work with a copy of the New York Times under his arm, and during these stints of minimum wage employment, Bobble Tiki’s coworkers often scoffed at his appreciation for “All The News Fit To Print.” It seems they always preferred the pablum of the USA Today.

Pictures are pretty, after all.

THE MORNING NEWS

HURRICANE: Felix gets sloppy.

SPORTS: Another look at the Wolverines.

MUSIC: Does anyone remember laughter?

BEIJING: Trading power for sex.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: If VH1 really needed to fill a couple hours of Saturday afternoon programming, perhaps they could compile a list of the “Top 25 Spooky Instruments of All Time.”

If they did, the organ would land near the top of the list.

While an organ has the capability to add heavenly textures to a musical score, it also has the ability to lace a horror flick or garage rock number with enough spook to give Herman Munster the heeby jeebies.

In the hands and capable fingers of the Voodoo Organist, aka Scott Wexton, the result is typically the later. It’s also a result well worth going out on a Wednesday night for.

The Voodoo Organist plays Hell’s Kitchen on Wednesday. If hell is anything like a really ritzy Nordstrom’s, and has a piano player by the escalator, then Wexton has a job in the afterlife, and you may be meeting the Voodoo Organist down the road. 

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Bobble Tiki has always had a warm spot for standup comics. Not many people know this, but for a while in the ’80s, during a lull in Bobble Tiki’s life that started just after college and didn’t end until June 24, 1994 â€" the date of Bobble Tiki’s first Zima â€" Bobble Tiki dabbled in comedy. Bobble Tiki stayed up late into the night working on bits and one-liners, sure that one day his unique sense of humor would set the comedy world ablaze. 

If Rory Scovel has one thing going for him as a comedian, it’s one thing that Tim Allen, Carrot Top, Sinbad, and Paula Poundstone wish they had.  Check him tonight at Jazzbones.

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
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Execrable \EK-sih-kruh-buhl\, adjective:

1. Deserving to be execrated; detestable; abominable.
2. Extremely bad; of very poor quality; very inferior.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki isn’t sure which is more execrable, a Republican Senator from Idaho pleading guilty to soliciting gay sex in the men’s room of the Minneapolis Airport, or the fact that it took nearly a month for the press to report it.

THE MORNING NEWS

TALIBAN: Four Koreans go free.

VIDEO: Dumbass teen driver.

UN: Inspectors find chemical in UN office.

AFRICA: Somalia concludes peace talks.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Tonight, at the Fabulous Firwood in Puyallup of all places, it’s “Win A Rack Thursday” with DJ Penguin. As you may have guessed, girls will be competing all night long, trying to convince those on hand that they, in fact, deserve a new rack.

Bobble Tiki is a feminist, meaning he believes in equal opportunity for both males and females. This being said, Bobble Tiki can’t wait for “Win A Penis Enlargement Wednesdays,” which seems like the next rationale step in South Sound entertainment.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE EVENTS: Plan your weekend.

THE DRINK: Giant drinks in the South Sound.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Bobble Tiki has always had a warm spot for standup comics. Not many people know this, but for a while in the ’80s, during a lull in Bobble Tiki’s life that started just after college and didn’t end until June 24, 1994 â€" the date of Bobble Tiki’s first Zima â€" Bobble Tiki dabbled in comedy. Bobble Tiki stayed up late into the night working on bits and one-liners, sure that one day his unique sense of humor would set the comedy world ablaze. 

If Rory Scovel has one thing going for him as a comedian, it’s one thing that Tim Allen, Carrot Top, Sinbad, and Paula Poundstone wish they had.

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

No Breakfast with Bobble Tiki this Saturday.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Palliate \PAL-ee-ayt\, transitive verb:

1. To reduce in violence (said of diseases, etc.); to lessen or abate.
2. To cover by excuses and apologies; to extenuate.
3. To reduce in severity; to make less intense.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki is no doctor, but if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that there’s nothing like eight or nine cans of Bud Ice to palliate the pain of one’s seemingly miserable existence. It works every time.

THE MORNING NEWS

GONZALES: Dems stay the course.

HAWAII: Dude, like hanging ten with a Superferry.

SENATOR: Look at me before I go-go.

ELTON: Madman across the Internet.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Despite the fact that Bobble Tiki just overheard Matt Driscoll on the phone with Seaweed guitarist Wade Neal, and he knows an interview story in the next issue of the Weekly Volcano is imminent â€" Bobble Tiki is going to try his damnedest not to be overcome with giddy school girl excitement, and stick to the task at hand. There’s time for Seaweed excitement. Today is only Tuesday.

Today, go to KISW.com, and vote for Top Heavy Crush as they’ve been named a finalist in the station’s American Idiot Local Band Competition. You can vote until Sept. 5. Top Heavy Crush will also be playing the “finals show” at Studio 7 in Seattle on Sept. 7, according to an e-mail from the band.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Duke Robillard is a guitarist â€" in the truest sense. Over the course of a career that has spanned four decades, and probably twice as many styles, Robillard has again and again proven he’s one of the best pure guitarists to ever step on stage or set foot in the studio. His career began in 1967 when he co-founded the jump blues band Roomful of Blues with pianist Al Copley, and he’s still touring and teaching guitar to this day (obviously, since he’ll be at the Capitol Theater Aug. 29.)

Please be Bobble Tiki’s friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
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Pied-a-terre \pee-ay-duh-TAIR; pyay-dah-TAIR\, noun:

A temporary or second place of lodging.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Though not frequently, from time to time during Bobble Tiki’s marriage, a particularly fierce disagreement with Mrs. Tiki (or even an unnecessary nightcap) has led Bobble Tiki to establish a pied-a-terre in the front yard. Usually, this pied-a-terre consists of the Tiki family camping tent, a cooler full of Pabst, and Bobble Tiki’s collection of back issue Victoria Secret catalogs.

THE MORNING NEWS

HOMES: Down, down, down.

TALIBAN: Pushing poppy production.

ATLANTA: Pull your pants up!

WINGS: Eat, Forrest, eat!

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Your little hood rat friend makes Bobble Tiki sick.
But after Bobble Tiki gets sick he just gets sad.
Because it burns being broke and it hurts to be heartbroken.
And always being both must be a drag.

Luckily The Hold Steady tickets go on sale at noon.

As do a slew of other shows. Check out the Volcano’s Concert Alert!

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE EVENT: Peace Festival 2007. 

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Duke Robillard is a guitarist â€" in the truest sense. Over the course of a career that has spanned four decades, and probably twice as many styles, Robillard has again and again proven he’s one of the best pure guitarists to ever step on stage or set foot in the studio. His career began in 1967 when he co-founded the jump blues band Roomful of Blues with pianist Al Copley, and he’s still touring and teaching guitar to this day (obviously, since he’ll be at the Capitol Theater Aug. 29.)

As always, Bobble Tiki doesn't care what you do today because he doesn't even know you.  And unless you check out the Weekly Volcano's Web site, Bobble Tiki doesn't want to me you.  Besides, it's time to blow this joint because it's so obvious you are becoming further and further removed from all that is genuine and real and visceral and virtuous and Bobble Tiki doesn't play that with his morning bowl of Quisp.

OK, Bobble Tiki apologizes.  Please be his friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Heterodox \HET-uh-ruh-doks\, adjective:

1. Contrary to or differing from some acknowledged standard, especially in church doctrine or dogma; unorthodox.
2. Holding unorthodox opinions or doctrines.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki’s religious views are often considered heterodox â€" especially considering he believes Jessica Simpson is his lord and savior.

THE MORNING NEWS

SCIENTISTS: Just a teaspoon of wastewater helps the drug test go down.

KATRINA: Billions still missing.

MURRAY: Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.

GENEVA: European “Cannonball Run.”

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Today is Thursday, meaning the real, live, paper and ink version of the Weekly Volcano hits the streets today. Bobble Tiki recommends picking up a copy and getting your music advice for today from someone who’s not a Hawaiian novelty doll. Besides, Bobble Tiki will be at the Gay Beast show tonight at the Manium in Olympia. You think he can recommend that with a straight face?   

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE EVENT: Twinkle! Pop-Crush-Fizz.

THE DRINK: Salty’s at Redondo Beach.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Duke Robillard is a guitarist â€" in the truest sense. Over the course of a career that has spanned four decades, and probably twice as many styles, Robillard has again and again proven he’s one of the best pure guitarists to ever step on stage or set foot in the studio. His career began in 1967 when he co-founded the jump blues band Roomful of Blues with pianist Al Copley, and he’s still touring and teaching guitar to this day (obviously, since he’ll be at the Capitol Theater Aug. 29.)

As always, Bobble Tiki doesn't care what you do today because he doesn't even know you.  And unless you check out the Weekly Volcano's Web site, Bobble Tiki doesn't want to me you.  Besides, it's time to blow this joint because it's so obvious you are becoming further and further removed from all that is genuine and real and visceral and virtuous and Bobble Tiki doesn't play that with his morning bowl of Quisp.

OK, Bobble Tiki apologizes.  Please be his friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

All those drinks plus a cab ride, Bobble Tiki had to go pretty badly. Bobble Tiki barely remembers hearing the words "sir, the bathroom is just outside the gymnasium, you're in the voting booth!"

Here's the beauty. Bobble Tiki doesn't remember who he voted for, or even if he voted at all. There's nothing to repress, just pure black-out hotness. So much mystery buzz.

Say what you will about Bobble Tiki. But don't ever speak ill of his election day program. The program is good, the program is solid.

Here are the unofficial results of yesterday's Pierce County elections. â€" Bobble Tiki

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Bilious \BIL-yuhs\, adjective:

1. Of or pertaining to bile.
2. Marked by an excess secretion of bile.
3. Pertaining to, characterized by, or affected by gastric distress caused by a disorder of the liver.
4. Appearing as if affected by such a disorder.
5. Resembling bile, especially in color.
6. Of a peevish disposition; ill-tempered

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki can’t be certain, but based on the taste and texture of the liquid that rushed up the back of his throat and flooded his mouth upon hearing of the Bush Administrations adamant fight to stop individual states from expanding the Children’s Health Insurance Program, Bobble Tiki is pretty sure the liquid was bilious.

THE MORNING NEWS

HURRICANE: Dean, Dean, the prancin’ machine.

SUMMIT: The U.S. security sandwich.

GAMBLING: Toilet, toilet, toilet â€" loser!

DAD: That’s the way they became the Mohammed Murad Abul Rahman bunch.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: On Wednesday, the Weekly Volcano’s Live Music and DJ Calendar tells Bobble Tiki that Planet Percussion, a world beat group, will play Sylvester Park in downtown Olympia. This makes Bobble Tiki wonder: When is there not a drum circle in Sylvester Park? 

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE ARTS: Bold pencil at Black Front Gallery.

THE DRINK: Tacoma Beer Society tomorrow.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Good taste in general isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Bobble Tiki likes crappy wine â€" you know what that means? He doesn’t need to spend a hundred dollars a bottle to have a good time. Bobble Tiki likes crappy food â€" you know what that means?  He can find pleasure at El Gaucho or DQ. Bobble Tiki likes crappy television â€" you know what that means? He doesn’t have to pop for HBO.

Bobble Tiki’s life is all together happier because he has no taste. It’s a trade off he is happy to make.

The Swinos fall in here somewhere, Bobble Tiki swears. Check them Thursday at McCabe's.

As always, Bobble Tiki doesn't care what you do today because he doesn't even know you.  And unless you check out the Weekly Volcano's Web site, Bobble Tiki doesn't want to me you.  Besides, it's time to blow this joint because it's so obvious you are becoming further and further removed from all that is genuine and real and visceral and virtuous and Bobble Tiki doesn't play that with his morning bowl of Quisp.

OK, Bobble Tiki apologizes.  Please be his friend here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.