THE WEEKLY VOLCANO FOLLOWS THE PEOPLE YOU'RE TO EMBARRASSED TO >>>

Just like most good, New Age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mainly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that. Following @Snow on Twitter isn't going to look cool (#alickyboomboomdown).

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with ...

FRED DURST

We'll be honest. @FredDurst was pretty much the inspiration for Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker. Somehow, and don't ask us how, we ended up following the Limp Bizkit frontman - and it's been nothing but entertainment since. It's like that proverbial, gory-ass, nu-metal car accident you just can't help but gawk at.

Here's a look at what @FredDurst has been up to lately:

March, 30: Fred Durst sees Hot Tub Time Machine

"I'm going for it. Sitting in theatre now. Please let it be decent. Love the cast."

via Twittelator, 9:23 p.m.

April, 3: Fred Durst dyes Easter eggs

"You know what time it is!!" via Twittelaor, 8:34 p.m.

APRIL, 7: Fred Durst gets a physical

"Getting my yearly physical. Time to get yours!" via Twittelator, 3:26 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of @freddurst ...

TUESDAY, APRIL 6, 2010 >>>

1. Ha Ha Tuesdays live comedy show featuring Chris Schipper, James Inman and host Ralph Poter begins at 8 p.m. inside Jazzbones.

2. Hell's Kitchen hosts Tightwad Tuesday featuring $2 wells, $2 beers and $2 for two tacos.

3. The women's monthly networking group Sips and Tips meets from 5-6 p.m. at Sip at the Wine Bar Restaurant in Gig Harbor.

4. The Urban Onion Restaurant in Olympia hosts Tough Guys Tuesdays action film double feature with drink specials at 7 p.m.

5. Olympia Songwriter's Circle goes down at 7 p.m. inside Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art in Olympia.

LINKS: Movie showtimes in the South Sound

Saturday, Feb. 13 >>>

1. Jaime Kay Jones of Top of Tacoma said we could invite a few of our Weekly Volcano friends to her "Tacoma is My Valentine" party, so we're inviting you.  But only you.  Don't tell anyone else.  (You know how sensitive they get.)  She tells us Pioneers West and Emerald Dollies Burlesque will be on, hand along with a few other special guests. Free. 3529 McKinley Ave., Tacoma 9 p.m. 21+1.

2. 54th St. Sports Bar hosts Pre-Valentine's Day Bash for "sexy singles" (That'd be us they're talking to.) to include Hip Hop, R&B, and comedy. 9 p.m. - 1a.m. 5415 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma $8 ($10 will include VIP access) 5415 S Tacoma Way, Tacoma - 21+

3. Northwest Sinfonietta presents Erwin Stein's arrangement of Mahler's 4^th Symphony - Romancing the Muse.  Rialto Theater 901 Broadway, Tacoma. 7:30 pm $19 - $49, www.nwsinfonietta.org

4. Encore! Youth Theater, in conjunction with The Academy of Performing Arts, performs the infamous musical The Magical Land of Oz written by Tim Kelly with music and lyrics by Bill Francoeur. 2 p.m. 615 38th Avenue Northwest, Gig Harbor, $7.00 and to be purchased at 6615 38th Avenue NW, Gig Harbor. For accurate directions, just follow the yellow brick road.

5. Arts Olympia 2010 is up and running today and tomorrow from approximately 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. at the State Capital Museum Coach House.  Check out paintings by Barbara Packard, fabric collage by book illustrator/textile artist Maitri Sojourner; and small works of metal artists Margo Westfall and Don Lovett. Free.  10-5. 211 21st Ave. SW., Olympia

FRIDAY, FEB. 5, 2010 >>>

1. CBS might have pulled the plug on their variety show in 1969 but the Smothers Brothers 7:30 p.m. show is still on at the Pantages.

2. Zac Efron and Claire Danes play young actors caught up in the intrigue, gossip, egos and impossible hours of the theater in the film Me and Orson Welles screening at 1:30, 4, 6:45 and 9:10 p.m. at The Grand Cinema.

3. The Telephone Room Gallery will celebrate Drunk Dialing -Kristen Ramirez's new exhibit featuring inscribed booze bottles - with an artist reception from 6-9 p.m.

4. The World Music and Dance Concert featuring The Erev Ravs, Ragdharma, Wild Honey and Rhythm Quest begins at 7:30 p.m. inside The Loft on Cherry in Olympia.

5. Champagne Sunday will perform at 9 p.m. inside the Harmon Brewery and Restaurant.

TUESDAY, JAN. 26, 2010 >>>

1. REI offers a free GPS 101 class at 7 p.m. You can find it at ·47° 13.333' N and 122° 27.95' W

2. Audio Atonement presents an all-ages show featuring The Ghost Inside, For The Fallen Dreams, Suffokate, Your Demise, Oblivion, Cowardice, and Culling The Weak at 6 p.m. inside The Viaduct.

3. Doug Walsh discusses your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health at 7 p.m. inside Marlene's Market & Deli in Tacoma.

4. Comedian Ralph Porter hosts Ha Ha Tuesday with opening MC D Lamont Hall and guest comic Rodger Lizaola at 8 p.m. inside Jazzbones.

5. Saxophonist Kareem Kandi hosts an open jazz jam at 9 p.m. inside Sax Restaurant.

LINK: Live music and DJs tonight in the South Sound

MATT DRISCOLL: BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Ah, the prefunk - a calm before the storm and a time to prime yourself for the coming party. Whether you specifically refer to it as a "prefunk" or not, nearly everyone - or everyone the Weekly Volcano rolls with, that is - engages in some sort "prefunk" activity.

It reminds me of the time my dad started chugging his beer at the Gorge right before the Who came on - he said he wanted to "reach his peak" right as Townshend and Co. hit the stage.* He was over fifty, severely balding, and he didn't know it - but he was prefunking.

The aim of this column, like my dad's chugged beer at the Gorge, is to get you ready for the coming weekend.

Here's a look at a couple events down tonight and tomorrow night in the South Sound, and some advice on how you might want to consider getting ready for them.

Friday Night

Poona the Fuckdog at Midnight Sun in Olympia

First of all, it's a play - not a cheaply made adult film produced in Enumclaw. The dedicated folks at Theater Artists Olympia - who pride themselves on producing theater that's not boring, regurgitated, cliché garbage - are unleashing this beast on non-offendable minds just in time for the holidays - and it couldn't be more appropriate. Expect copious amounts of aliens, shrubs, salesmen and vagina references. Poona the Fuckdog opened last night, and runs through Dec. 20. Tonight's show at Midnight Sun (113 N Columbia St., Olympia) starts at 8 p.m.

Prefunk Suggestion: Smoke out in your car right before walking in. You'll smell like most people from Olympia, and the filthy jokes will be all the more hilarious.

Saturday Night

Motopony and Battersea at Jazzbones in Tacoma

Daniel Blue seems to be the most controversial dude in Tacoma these days - or close to it, anyway. Our late October cover story on the new Motopony record has the Internet comments to prove it. It seems nearly everyone has an opinion on Mr. Blue, which makes Motopony's Saturday night show at Jazzbones all the more interesting. Will Blue ride to the stage on his scooter, like he did at the CD release show at Urban Grace? Or will he show up with a sleazy bachelorette party in a stretch Hummer limo and make his way to the stage only after stumbling on his face thanks to a pair of slutty high heels - as is the usual entrance at Jazzbones? Only time will tell. Saturday's show starts at 7 p.m.

Prefunk Suggestion: Snort lines of irony off the 253 Heart and then head to the Boneyard to get wasted on PBR and Carlo Rossi out of a smuggled in Nalgene bottle - not because you can't afford any better, just because it's the cool thing to do.

MICHAEL SWAN: THURSDAY, NOV. 19, 2009 >>>

1. South Puget Sound Community College art faculty - including Carol Hannum's work pictured above - is showcasing its wide range of works in a show opening today in the Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts Gallery. Check it out from noon to 4 p.m.

2. Creative writing students of Tacoma's School Of The Arts will read their poetry and prose as part of Writers Bloc at 7 p.m. inside King's Books.

3. The newly remastered 1982 Godfrey Reggio film Koyaanisqatsi will screen at 7:30 p.m. inside the Washington Center.

4. The semi-finalists for 30th Annual Seattle International StandUp Comedy Competition will hit the Liberty Theatre stage at 8 p.m.

5. Fulcrum Gallery hosts a fundraiser featuring MC Alleon, Bobby Galaxy, Sax & Synth and DJ Broam at 9 p.m.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

JOSE GUTIERREZ JR.: DEVON THE DUDE IN OLY >>>

One of the most underrated MCs on the map will slinkily and smoothly make his way to the stage tonight at Olympia’s Royal Lounge, when Devin The Dude headlines a strong show and line-up featuring Tac-Town’s Jay Barz, Olympia’s party crew, Junkyard Gang and DJ Luvva J (yours truly) on the 1s and 2s.

Since his days with Houston’s Odd Squad in the mid-‘90s, Devin has captured the minds and hearts of his listeners with blistering comedy, wordplay and an uncanny ability to tell stories â€" many of a sexual nature (check for his verses on “F**k Faces” with Scarface and “F**k You” with Dr. Dre).  Still for some reason or another, one of the most respected and sought after talents in the rap game is still slipping in and out of the mainstream radar. That’s OK though â€" those who know â€" KNOW.  Those who don’t can come and get a dose of the Texas legend tonight at the Royal in Oly. 

Devon The Dude plays Tacoma's Station 56 tomorrow night.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: IS THIS ON YOUR RADAR? >>>

Last Saturday I dropped by Applini's Two Clean & Sober Club in Puyallup to catch local comedian Tk Kasnick kill the otherwise sober crowd. Susan Jones, the upcoming star of Living Large headlined the show, supported by the cute and twisted Jaqi Furback.

Have you been to Applini’s yet? Ironically, it's in the same building that used to house Mugs and Jugs sports bar.

Tomorrow night the club continues its Applini Idol contest from 7-10 p.m. A DJ spins every Friday night. Classic rock band Legacy pops in Saturday night. Check out their upcoming events here.

[Applini's Two Clean & Sober Club, 1015 N. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4307]

MICHAEL SWAN: TUESDAY, SEPT. 1, 2009 >>>

1. Author Michael J. Vaughn will read and discuss his book OUTRO, which uses Gig Harbor's karaoke scene as a backdrop, at 7 p.m. inside Tacoma's Wheelock Library.

2. The Tacoma Mountaineers 7th Annual Photographic Exhibition opens today at 9 a.m. at the Tahoma Center Gallery in Tacoma. It runs through Oct. 30.

3. Saxophonist and host Kareem Kandi is ramping up the jazz open mic every Tuesday night at 7 p.m. at Sax on 6th.

4. Comedians Jesse Case and Brett Hamil join host Ralph Porter at 8 p.m. for Jazzbones' Ha Ha Tuesdays.

5. Tempest Lounge presents iPod Tuesdays where you bring your MP3 player and become the DJ beginning at 9 p.m.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide