SATURDAY, JUNE 5, 2010 >>>

1. Two giants of Sasquatch research will be at the Washington State History Museum hosting an audience discussion of all things Sasquatch beginning at 10:30 a.m. Dr. Jeffrey Meldrum and Robert Gimlin will be discussing their collected evidence, taking audience questions, and meeting with attendees. Aftward, tour the Giants in the Mountains: The Search for Sasquatch exhibit, which will close June 27.

2. The Tacoma Art Place will host a fundrasier art garage sale from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. today and tomorrow. Get in on the deals.

3. The Maritime Gig Festival will take over Harborview Drive in downtown Tacoma from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday and 7 a.m. -4:30 p.m. tomorrow. The parade starts at 10 a.m. today. Beware of boaters with sweaters draped around their necks.

4. The Museum of Glass hosts another History of Glass lecture today from 1-2 p.m. Renowned artist, teacher and historian Walter Lieberman will lecture on glass during the Art Deco age, 1920s-1940s.

5. Tempest Lounge will host the House Blend CD Release Party featuring DJs dAb, Sticky J and Bilori. Admission is free. Also, free promo CDs will be handed out.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

SATURDAY, MAY 22, 2010 >>>

1. The Grand Cinema will host a free screening of Pee Wee's Big Adventure, described in promotional materials as "a fun family film about bikes!" The - once again FREE - event starts at 10:30 a.m. and, well, will be a "fun family film about bikes" - kind of.

2. The Clean, Green Boating Fest runs from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Foss Waterway Seaport featuring "citizen science" boat tours of Commencement Bay, storm water education and more.

3. Musket volleys, bagpipes and cannons abounded when Hudson's Bay Company forts across North American celebrated Queen Victoria's birthday in the mid-1800s. Visitors to Fort Nisqually Living History Museum can relive the festivities from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Also, it's Bear Awareness Day over at Northwest Trek.

4. Tacoma's original roller derby league, the Dockyard Derby Dames, move to historic Foss Waterway Seaport for their third bout of season four. Three Chicks Catering, Inc. will be serving plates of barbecue grilled on-site. There is also a beer garden serving $3 wine and beer. All the action begins at 6 p.m.

5. The New York-based filmmaker Ana Joanes directed Fresh, which is being screened at 6 p.m. at the Carwein Auditorium on the UWT campus. Fresh is the result of two years of work, talking to advocates from the real food movement. Joanes said industrialized food production poses a threat to food safety and community health. The film is sponsored by the Tacoma Food Co-op.

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

Bring on the weekend >>>

Well, fuck. It's raining off and on and somewhat miserable outside. How am I supposed to start the weekly Prefunk - a preparatory weekend guide for you and your liver - if not by commenting on the lovely weather? I've employed that approach every week for the last month, at least - and I really didn't want to stop.

Oh, well. It is what it is. The Prefunk is coming your way, whether you like it or not.

Even better, we've got a NEW drunk pet photo this week!

For those who'd like to see their drunken pet forever immortalized on The Prefunk, send your best pictures to the Weekly Volcano for consideration. Remember, we're not encouraging you to force beer on your dog or cat, but if they already have a problem, well, what are you going to do?

DOCKYARD DERBY DAMES SEASON FOUR, BOUT THREE

Saturday, May 22

Last time around, it was Pierce College. This Saturday, Tacoma's infamous and awesome Dockyard Derby Dames will hijack the Foss Waterway Seaport for the third bout of the season - filling the typically mundane space with all sorts ferocious feminine C-blocks, J-blocks and checks. It's sure to be just as badass as you imagine.

PREFUNK: A "good friend of mine," back in my college youth, was a big fan of proclaiming the virtues of "mixing it up." To him, it was a lifestyle.  I vividly remember him trying to explain this theory on existence to a waitress at the Reef, as he tried fruitlessly to order a bourbon milkshake. She didn't get it.

Anyway, Saturday will be an interesting day at the Foss Waterway Seaport. Not only are the Derby Dames set to invade with a 6 p.m. bout, but earlier in the day the 2^nd Annual Clean, Green Boating Festival will be in full effect the same space. The Clean, Green Boating Festival will include Electric Duffy boat guided tours of the Thea Foss Waterway and Dragon boat rides.

Here's what you do: Smuggle a sixer in your jacket on to one of those Electric Duffy boat tours and take the edge off. When festival authorities inevitably confront you, noting that the reckless consumption of MGD while boating is EXACTLY THE KIND OF THOUGHTLESS BEHAVIOR the 2^nd Annual Clean, Green Boating Festival is intended to discourage, tell them to "suck it," then jump out and swim back. If you're out of shape ass happens to come across the right piece of drift wood, and luck is on your side, you should arrive back at the Foss Waterway Seaport just in time for the start of the Derby Dames bout.

Plus, there'll be a beer garden waiting for you. Awesome.

PIERCE COLLEGE JAZZ EXPO

Sunday, May 23

As you may have heard, "everything is jazz."

While that's a somewhat outdated sentiment - since the saying first surfaced research has shown only about 93% of things are jazz - still, there's something to it.

On Sunday, Pierce College is set to put on its annual Jazz Expo - now in its 37^th year. The Jeff Hamilton Trio, which includes drummer Hamilton (duh), Israeli-born piano badass Tamir Hendelman and bassist Cristoph Luty, will be the event's main draw, although the Fort Steilacoom Student Jazz Band will also have a (jazz) hand in the action.

It's a full day thing. From noon to 1 p.m., the Pierce College Jazz Expo will offer a "master class" at The Tacoma School of the Arts, 1118 Commerce St., Tacoma, and then the real fun will begin at 5 p.m. with the full blown Piece College Jazz Expo performance at the Stadium High School Auditorium.

PREFUNK: They say marijuana and jazz go hand-in-hand. Hell, even here at the Weekly Volcano we've long referred to our doobies in print as "herbal jazz cigarettes." Here's your chance to finally test out the longstanding companionship.

Burn one late Sunday morning then head out to the ‘master class" at noon. See what happens. Trust me. It'll be a good test. You'll be so jazz.

Or will you?

See you next week.

BE LIKE TINA FEY (SHE'S GREEK!) >>>

The Greeks had a succinct way of explaining the seasons: It was all the fault of a pomegranate seed ingested by Persephone after she was abducted and taken to the underworld by Hell's top dog, Hades. Her highfalutin' mom, Demeter, goddess of the harvest, mourned so loudly and dangerously that Zeus pleaded until Hades let Persephone go. But the seed bound her to the down-under, so she has to return for six months every year, leaving the earth cold and bleak while she's gone.

By the beard of Zeus! - I, for one, am thankful she's back on the dirt. In celebration, I will throw on some sandals and head to Saturday's Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church's annual Greek Taverna, which is a smaller sibling to its annual fall shindig. A taverna means "small restaurant" in Athens talk. They are the equivalent of a Tully's where folks go to hang out and chat.

St. Nicholas will serve gyros ("ghee rhos" not "jie row"), manestra and keftedes, tsureki bread, salata, spanakopita, baklava, beer, wine and other beverages not as fun. There will also be Greek music and dancers.

You have always yearned for an enormous Greek family to share dinners with. Now is your chance, Hermes breath.

Greek Taverna

Saturday, May 22, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., free admission
Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church, 1523 S. Yakima Ave, Tacoma
253.272.0466

SIDESHOW ON SIXTH >>>

There's nothing like the life of a circus performer. You get to pass yourself off as hailing from an exotic Eastern locale, even if you're really an ex-paralegal from Yonkers. And you can turn the most mundane of household experiences into a thrilling center-ring attraction if you're clever and creative enough ... as in hammering spikes into your skull.

For nearly a decade Donny Vomit has been performing acts of a strange, bizarre, odd and macabre nature at Coney Island. As Master of Ceremonies of the Sideshow, he pounds nails into his skull, tosses chainsaws with the greatest of ease, and subjects victims to his electric chair in the fashion of a true gentleman oddity.

This chap will be in Tacoma this Thursday for a meet and secrete at, of course, The Red Hot. Tacoma's Sixth Avenue hot doggery will host Mr. Vomit, as well as plenty of Human Blockhead Ale by Schmaltz Brewing.

Watching the pounding while pounding brews and dogs.

Human Blockhead Night

Thursday, May 13, 6 p.m., no cover
The Red Hot, 2914 sixth Ave., Tacoma
253.779.0229

LINK: 99 Bottles in Federal Way hosts Vomit on Friday at 5 p.m.

SATURDAY, MAY 8, 2010 >>>

1. Rush tribute band 2112 and Led Zeppelin tribute band Kashmir will rock the Liberty Theater in Puyallup beginning at 8 p.m. Rumor is that 2112 is pulling out the 35-foot rear-projection screen and firing up the laser show for this one.

2. Portland's interactive, sing-a-long, folk punk band Destroy Nate Allen will be joined by Phantom City, To new Beginnings and Todd James Luque for an 6 p.m. all-ages show at the Black Lake Grange in Olympia.

3. The Tacoma Farmers Market doesn't do the pledge and tote bag thing, they just throw a Rodeo Barn Dance to keep the farmers market culture moving forward. Admission includes the musical stylings of The Oly Mountain Boys, a free drink ticket and all night access to the mechanical bull. Food booths will be set up mini-market style with up to six food vendors and two beer/wine booths. A live auction will be held during one of the band's breaks. The party doors at Freighthouse Square open at 6 p.m.

4. Nine local businesses - including Halter Hotties, Vixens House of Shoes & Apparel, Stella & Dot, Ace of Dates, Passion Parties and Sugar Bar - will converge on Cork! Wine Bar from 6-10 p.m. for a night of fashion, art, music, and prizes.

5. Tena DuBerry and guests will take a Tacoma Little Theatre audience on a theatrical journey through the lifecycle of being a woman during their I Am Everywoman for two shows at 8 and 10 p.m., with the latter being more of a party.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

WE CAN SCAVENGE WITH THE BETS OF THEM >>>

Since its conception three years ago, the Tap into T-Town event benefiting Tacoma City Kid's Marathon has grown exponentially. With approximately 300 participants that made up 73 teams of four, this year's 2010 Amazing Race-style scavenger hunt was nothing less than a complete blast and an absolute success. 

As teams raced through downtown Tacoma yesterday, our very own Team Weekly Volcano - consisting of Jennifer Johnson, Kris Blondin, Bandito Betty, and myself ­set a quick pace from the start, snapping photos of specific landmarks and accomplishing tasks mandated through various clues.

A three-page (front and back) document was handed to each team upon check-in beginning at 3 p.m., and our Weekly Volcano team - which the office tagged "Bordeaux Patrol" - immediately began working on random Tacoma-oriented trivia questions.  As the clock hit 4 p.m., teams were allowed to begin the actual "race" to solve approximately 100 tasks which upon completion gave us anywhere from 10 to 100 points.  No cars were allowed, only busses, foot, and light rail.  Destinations ranged from Stadium Video to Harmon Brewery and everywhere in between.

Half of the tasks required a picture of each team doing said task, while the other half were actual items needed to have in the team's possession upon completion of the race at 8 p.m.  The object was not how you completed the tasks, but that you had proof you did. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.) Teams weren't shy about spending a few dollars here and there, nor about downing a shot of whiskey as it was "taking one for the team."  Extra points were given for team creativity, while bribing the judges with cupcakes and alcohol was widely accepted. 

Team costumes showed originality, and Team Weekly Volcano's three favorite team outfits were the female superheroes equipped with capes and all, Team TAGRO who donned fake poo atop white baseball caps (shitheads), and the best of all: Team Titlow Beach, which consisted of team members wearing low-hanging breasts and beach paraphernalia.

Team Weekly Volcano brought home massive prizes in the form of local gift certificates after placing second out of the 73 teams that competed.  We were exhausted, exhilarated, and extremely proud of how well we worked as a team.  We all had one of the best days of our lives at what we think is one of Tacoma's BEST annual events to attend. 

The winning team – which was nameless - consisted of Chelsea Levy, Ryan Mello, Katie Rose and John McDonald.

Just like Babe Ruth, I'm pointing to the grandstand and calling it right now:  Tap into T-Town 2011, Team Weekly Volcano takes home first place.  Period.

LINK: More photos in the Photo Hot Spot

SUNDAY, MAY 2, 2010 >>>

1. On the heels of the über-successful Third Annual Spring Fairy Festival - which reportedly drew upward of 15 fairies - Crescent Moon Gifts is back today with a Beltaine celebration and May Day celebration all wrapped into one. Beltaine, for those unaccustomed to Gaelic ways, is both the Gaelic word for "May," and an annual Celtic festival celebrating springtime hope and the coming harvest. It's totally pagan, yo. May Day, of course, is, well, May Day. Both are typically celebrated on the first day of May, but apparently Crescent Moon Gifts is throwing pagan convention to the wind. Expect floral wreaths, maypoles, and some fairy fun - as well as a pagan potluck from 4-6 p.m.

2. The Den @ urbanXchange hosts a grand opening celebration for its Tea Bar from noon to 9 p.m. with a sidewalk sale, free tea pours, an art show, Gypsy jazz, trip-hop from Tacoman Ess One and more.

3. We've come a long way. If you need proof, know that we just we wrote that while Skyping in a pizza order, text-messaging my grandma and Tweeting about our last bowel movement. However, sometimes it is nice to look back - as James Venturini and the Lakewood Playhouse will help us do at 1:30 and 3:30 p.m., when they present The Maltese Falcon and The Red Wind in classic, old time radio form at King's Books. The classic mysteries - in old school radio form - should hold audiences captive, if not completely Twitter-free.

4. The Music Giving Back folks presents its annual BreastFest, a salute to mothers with a huge pre-Mother's Day bash at The Swiss to help raise money for breast cancer research. The music lineup includes Deborah Page, China Davis, Heidi Vladyka, and Rosati and The Lonely Guys. The B-Fest runs from 6-10 p.m.

5. Humble Cub, Fat Beavers and ICK perform at 9 p.m. inside The New Frontier Lounge.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

OK, OK, I know. I let you down last week, failing to post the Friday blog gem known as The Prefunk - a weekend primer for you and your liver.

So sue me. These things happen. Something tells me you survived - and might even be better for it.

That said, it's time to get back in the saddle. And where better to get back in the saddle, and start off this edition of The Prefunk, than the newly christened Big Whisky Saloon.

Huzzah!

BIG WHISKY SLOPPY SECONDS

Saturday, May 1

Technically, Tacoma's new cowboy bar - Big Whisky Saloon - opens Friday night (or tonight, depending on when you read this - like, between 6 and 7 p.m. They're still sawing as we speak - literally). But I've never been one for highly-hyped grand openings. Instead, I suggest checking out Big Whisky Saloon a day later, on Saturday (mainly because it works for the premise of this so-called column).

Saturday night also happens to be the official pre-party for the Brooks and Dunn show later that night - sweetening the deal considerable for those with a cowboy persuasion.

Big Whisky, at Ninth and A Streets in downtown Tacoma - in the spot that used to be Cans - is billing itself as a place where country music fans can once again call home. Since the demise of McCabe's, the Tacoma cowboy scene has been in rough shape, so the arrival of Big Whisky can be seen as nothing but a good thing (though I do wonder where all the big rigs will actually park downtown). In some cowboy circles, Big Whisky  - operated by Roger Rahil, also the current co-owner of the soon-to-open Tacoma dance club Encore at South 11th and Pacific Avenue (formerly the Vault) and his partner Jon Tartaglia, of Varsity Grill fame - is being referred to as "the new McCabe's," which makes a lot of sense since Paul Muller, formerly of McCabe's, will act as general manager.

Even better, there are no plans for Big Whisky to institute a hip-hop night anytime soon.

Friday may be the grand opening but this slob's money is on Saturday night - and the official Brooks and Dunn preparty - being the real deal ... if you're into that sort of thing.

PREFUNK: As they say, liquor before beer, you're in the clear; beer before liquor, never been sicker  - although, in truth, I'm not exactly sure what "they" say. Every time "they" are telling me something like that, I'm usually pounding Jell-O shots and PBR - right before upchucking.

Anyway, before heading out to Big Whisky, try having a little whisky. Might be nice, and set the evening in a positive trajectory.

PUNK INVASION: SLEDGEBACK, RED WHITE AND DIE, REBEL STRIKE, THE ASSASSINATORS @ Capitol Theater

Sunday, May 2

Nothing epitomizes an easy, breezy Sunday afternoon than a massive earful of all ages punk. Am I right, or am I right?

Sunday afternoon in Olympia, at the Capitol Theater, that's what you'll get as Sledgeback, Red White and Die, Rebel Strike and The Assassinators bring every chord they know to the table.

Granted, that's probably only four or five - but it should still be da bomb, yo.

PREFUNK: Here's a good idea - identify the person with the shittiest taste in music that you know, and invite them to this show. But, instead of Sledgeback, tell them Nickelback will be playing.

Then, sit back, pop in the ear plugs (for safety), and watch the horror on their stupid face as Sledgeback tears them a new you-know-what.

See you next week...

ON SALE NOW >>>

VIP tickets are now on sale for the GritCity Fest to be held June 17-19 in downtown Tacoma. The $50 tickets are only available at urbanXchange. For more information on participating festival venues and bands, visit the GritCity Fest Web site here.