FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 2010 >>>

1. The Spring Fair in Puyallup offers exhibits, contests, music and entertainment, activities and more from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.

2. A large group of artists, community activists, freaks, weirdoes and some of the best Tacoma has to offer now meet at noon at Frost Park (Ninth and Commerce in downtown Tacoma for sidewalk art challenges then naming one chalker the "Greatest Illustrator in the Universe (of Tacoma)" every week through online voting on FeedTacoma.com.

3. Thirteen original dance numbers will be performed by the Pacific Lutheran University's School of Arts and Communication - featuring Step, Modern, Ballet and Bollywood - as part of Dance Ensemble at 7:30 p.m. inside the Eastvold Auditorium.

4. California underground punk bands Lopez and the Bar Feeders are playing Hell's Kitchen Friday at 9 p.m. with Neutralboy, The Triple Sixes and Brain Sick. Bobble Tiki has thoughts on the show.

5. The band Facts on File occupy a pretty specific time in music, when people like Television and Talking Heads were on the scene. These bands were creating a brand new sound, but going about it in a roundabout way. They embraced punk to a certain extent, but what they seemed to be striving for was to bring rock ‘n' roll back down to eye-level; they still loved the art form, but rejected the bloat. Facts on File have keyed in on this minimalism. Catch them with Christopher Francis and Son, and Boca A Boca at 10 p.m. inside Le Voyeur.

LINK: New movies open today

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

The weekend hath cometh, o' weary followers of the Weekly Volcano. Rejoice. Recharge. Rejuvenate. Reap the benefits of multiple beers.

With the weekend comes the Weekly Volcano's Prefunk, a regular-like-clockwork guide designed to prime you and your liver for two worthy events coming up this weekend.

Here's how it goes:

Basically, I choose a couple happenings this weekend, tell a few tasteless jokes - and slap on a picture of a dog or cat getting wasted. That's it. It's an unbeatable recipe...

For something.

Anyway, here we go.

GRAY SKY BLUES MUSIC FESTIVAL

Saturday, April 10

If you're under the age of 40 - you may not even realize the Tacoma Daffodil Parade still exists. Unless you're a hopeful Daffodil princess, I suppose. Or just really festive. Or just really like waving. Or flowers. Or whatever...

The same could be said for the blues: If you're under the age of 40, you may not realize it still exists.

Well, my friends, blues is alive and well - and has a strong following in the South Sound. Local blues acts like Randy Oxford, Blues Redemption, Toughtimes and Billy Shew are all the proof you need of our area's blues talent.

Saturday, directly following the Grand Floral Daffodil Parade through the streets of T-town, the annual Gray Sky Blues Music Festival will kick off at venues all over Tacoma - from the Harmon to the Swiss and beyond. (Here's what we had to say about it in this week's print Volcano.) The aforementioned Oxford and Blues Redemption, along with blues guitarist Sean Carney and many others, will put the South Sound's blues mojo on full display - all day long.

It's a cherished yearly event within the blues community, and for good reason.

PREFUNK: There's a good chance, if you're taking my questionable advice, you'll be experiencing the Blue Sky Blues Music Festival for the first time on Saturday; perhaps you're a young person excited to dip your virgin toes in the blues. Here are two things to expect, and how to prepare:

1. Most blues songs sound the same. Get used to it. And drink heavily before arriving to make this less of an issue.
2. Old people look funny when they dance to the blues. Get used to it. And drink heavily before arriving to make this less of an issue.

BINGO AT AMVETS POST 1

Sunday, April 11

Who doesn't like bingo? No one I know. That's why Sunday bingo at AMVETS POST 1, on Tyler and 56^th, is destined to be THE NEXT BIG THING. The hot letter and number calling action runs from 10 a.m to 2 p.m., and from 6:30-9:30 p.m.

PREFUNK: Nothing gets a bingo party started right like a taco, am I right? Of course I am (or I've just been brainwashed by the Volcano's recently concluded Tournament of Tacos).

Either way, Moctezuma's emerged victorious from the Volcano's Tournament of Tacos, relying heavily on the delicious "Mexico City Taco."

Try one on for size before bingo. You'll be glad you did.

Plus, if you get gassy - you're playing bingo with seniors. No one will notice.

See you next week.

SATURDAY, MARCH 20, 2010 >>>

1. The very talented singer-songwriter Ben Union will play a free show inside The Hub at 9 p.m.

2. The Women's League of University of Puget Sound Spring Flea Market will be held from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Memorial Fieldhouse. Expect more than 50 booths of antiques, photo of the Brotherhood of Railroad Trainmen from 1952, No. 300 Wysong & Miles dual sander, and other treasure. Proceeds support U.P.S. scholarships for students.

3. The Grand Cinema, with a lot of encourage from Click! Cable, will screen the lovely Curious George movie from free beginning at 10 a.m.

4. Tacoma artist David Gray continues his portrait demonstration from noon to 3 p.m. at Tacoma Art Supply.

5. Defending the Caveman - the longest-running solo play in Broadway history - is a boorish boy vs. sensitive woman nudge-wink fest that hits the Theatre on the Square stage at 7:30 p.m.

LINK: Movie showtimes in the South Sound

SMASHING NEWS >>>

Watch people smash things. Smashing things is fun and cathartic. Watching others smash and smash and smash into each other can be equally entertaining and potentially cathartic in a vicarious kind of way. A sold-out crowd watched the Slamfest Demolition Derby at last year's Spring Fair in Puyallup. Afterward, families left the Fairgrounds with smiles, smashing their first together as if they were cars.

Therefore, Spring Fair folks have added Slamfest it to this year's spring shindig — April 17 at 6 p.m. and the large cars April 18 at 2 p.m. Both derbies will feature the oh-so-popular Rollover, Crazy 8 and Demo Derby Heat Races. New this year will be dare devil stunts with extreme automotive acrobats and fire walks.

Because it sold out last year, the Weekly Volcano suggests you purchase your Slamfest tickets when they go on sale this Friday at 10 a.m. through Ticketmaster outlets. Tickets are $30 for the Golden Derby box seats, $15 for your run-of-the-mill adult seats, $12 for those skipping their studies and $5 from ages 3-5. A special $50 family pack will also be available. All tickets include admission into the Spring Fair.

Did we mention the new sizzling stunts this year?

Tuesday, Feb. 9 >>>

1. Arun Ghandi, the grandson of Mahatma Ghandi, will be in Puyallup to discuss his grandfather's philosophies of non-violence and talk about the problem of racism. Noon, free, Pierce College, 1601 39^th Ave. SE, Puyallup.

2. Are you an unofficial member of Camp Half-Blood? If so, it's time to get your geek on and enjoy some games, activities and food in celebration of the release of the movie, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, which comes out in theaters this Friday.  4-5 pm, Timberland Regional Library, Tumwater Branch.  7023 New Market Street, Olympia

3. What do you get when you mix Japanese marimba and Colombian quena?  Our first guess was teriyaki nachos, but we're being told the answer is: Magic!  Classical Tuesdays in Old Town with The Miho & Diego Duo atSlavonian Hall, 2301 N. 30th Street in Old Town Tacoma.  Free.

4. Feeling talented or not, The Antique Sandwich Company hosts an open mic night every Tuesday.  Sign-ups begin at 6 p.m., and the reality of whether or not anyone will clap for you starts at 7 p.m.  5102 N. Pearl Street, Tacoma

5. "Battle Malbec" at Pour At Four. Six Malbecs from Argentina, all at the $10.00 price point. Should be a great tasting to find your type of Malbec. While the Weekly Volcano's "type of Malbec" is any kind that comes in a very large glass, you should totally go anyway.  Complimentary tasting from 5:30 - 8:00 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27, 2010 >>>

1. Dancer and author Maggie Kast will read from her new book, The Crack between the Worlds: a dancer's memoir of loss, faith and family at 6 p.m. inside Orca Books.

2. The Tacoma Home and Garden Show kicks off today with more than 500 exhibits, display gardens and a full schedule of "how-to" seminars promise to inspire and inform the do-it-yourselfer from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. inside the Tacoma Dome.

3. The CLAW's (Cartoonists League of Absurd Washingtonians) monthly Open Swim doodling session - open to adult members and non-members - begins at 7:30 p.m. inside the Mandolin Café. Tonight's theme? You guessed it - Robots!

4. Masa Comida Mexicana hosts Golf Pros Rehab Party where every is encourage to dress like golf pros and hos and dance before DJ Niros like you just don't care beginning at 9 p.m.

5. Hell's Kitchen hosts Mic Control: The Emcee Battle featuring Sawchosiz, D-Hustle, Mak Noah and Unique at 9 p.m.

MONDAY, JAN. 18, 2010 >>>

1. Tacoma is known for hosting one of the largest annual indoor MLK celebrations in the country, and this year will be no different. With a "Unity in the Community" theme, the 2010 MLK celebration will start at 10:30 a.m. at the Tacoma Dome Exhibition Hall - with a keynote address delivered by Dr. Terrence Roberts, one of the "Little Rock Nine."

2. Celebrate MLK Day with performance tributes to Dr. King, a film about Tacoma's civil rights activists, and an exhibit about African American musicians who helped forge a lasting jazz movement, plus a live performance by the Kim Archer Band and more from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. inside the Washington State History Museum.

3. The Ozzie Fuhrmann Orchestra perfoms at 7 p.m. in front of the fireplace at the Mandolin Café.

4. Blues Redemption hits The Swiss' stage at 8 pm.

5. Rockaraoke live band karaoke hits Jazzbones' stage at 9 p.m.

FRIDAY, JAN. 15, 2010 >>>
 
1. Almodovar's passionate new film Broken Embraces is a voluptuary of a film, drunk on primary colors, caressing Penelope Cruz, using the devices of a Hitchcock to distract us with surfaces while the sinister uncoils beneath. It opens today at The Grand Cinema at 3, 5:50 and 8:30 p.m.
 
2. Bates Technical College's South Campus hosts Marilyn Strickland, the city's first female African-American mayor, and Harold Moss, Tacoma's first African-American mayor, for its Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration "Community: Past, Present and Future" at 11 a.m.
 
3. The Second City Chamber Series presents Lieder und Kammermusik featuring Schubert's Songs, Schönberg's Cabaret Songs, Brahms' Two Songs for Voice, and Viola and Piano, Op. 91, and two versions of Schubert's "Trout" Quintet at 7:30 p.m. inside Annie Wright School's Great Hall.
 
4. Over the River and Through the Woods opens at 7:30 p.m. inside the Tacoma Little Theatre.

5. Roman Holiday's build-up is tight and suspenseful, every chorus explodes, and every hook is more gigantic than the last. They release their new CD tonight at 8 p.m. inside the Liberty Theater in Puyallup.

MICHAEL SWAN: NOW WHAT? >>>

The last of the eggnog has been dumped down the disposal, and the Old Navy turtlenecks have mercifully been returned, but despite this apparently damning evidence, the Weekly Volcano is here to tell you that the holidays are not over.  These two Christmas-themed shows run through Jan. 3:

Fantasy Lights â€" A two-mile drive through 300 animated holiday displays, through Jan. 3, 5:30-9 p.m. daily, $13 a vehicle, Spanaway Park, west of 152nd Street and Pacific Avenue, Spanaway, 253.798.3330.

Zoolights â€" Explore Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium by the glow of thousands of holiday lights including hundreds of handcrafted figurines plus live entertainment, food, and, more, through Jan. 3 5-9 p.m., $6.50-$7.50, Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, 5400 N. Pearl, Tacoma, 253.591.5337.

MICHAEL SWAN: MONDAY, DEC. 21, 2009 >>>

1. The Mandolin Café hosts a Winter Solstice Celebration featuring Too Many Cooks with Steve Stefanowicz beginning at 7 p.m.

2. Tim Kapler's Incomplete show hangs on the walls of The Swiss.

3. Bundle up and stroll Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium as it comes aglow with more than a half-million lights during Zoolights from 5-9 p.m.

4. The ringing backup music has been replaced with a real band; and the cheesy video is gone, because you are the show now, baby, during Rockaraoke beginning at 9 p.m. inside Jazzbones.

5. The Mix hosts Drag Bingo beginning at 9 p.m.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide