GUSTY GAIL: TALL SHIPS JULY FOURTH >>>

"Tall Ships traffic blows, Gusty," shares Top Secret Shirley from the Museum of Glass, which is quite different from the DMV â€" but acting as a port to man, car, boat and beast this weekend.

"VIP my glass," shares international tourist Luciano. "I came to see the vagina art at the William Traver Gallery and even with the VIP parking pass it took me an hour to get through this mess."

More on the the art after the fireworks tonight. One vagina bomb is enough for any blog. Turns out Luciano dawned sparkle fingers and a magic hat to try to pull a disappearing act on the crowds and golf carts.

But it appears she shrunk the Tall Ships instead. Don't get me wrong. They still kick ass; but they're smaller than the last time.  Or is just me?

Check out the rest of my Tall Ships Tacoma 2008 photos I snapped today here.

RON SWARNER: ROOFTOP VIEW >>>

Tacoma Rotary 8 moved its Thursday noon meeting inside the Landmark Convention Center to said building's rooftop today to take in all that is Tall Ships Tacoma. Rotary 8 members, visiting Rotarians and many guests mingled about smartly an hour before the meeting waiting for the Tall Ships.

And waited and waited and waited.

We could see the Tall Ships very small in the distance. However new Pres. Jeff Rounce called everyone inside the rooftop conference room for the noon meeting.

After the adjournment bell, we scurried back outside to find â€" Tall Ships.

I snapped a few shots, including the party on top of the Sky Terrace condos down the street, before heading back to work.

With a cash bar, and the rooftop reserved all afternoon, I bet many Rotarians are still there.

Jeff Rounce

Speaking of Jeff Rounce, here is the official press release announcing his presidency:

The Rotary Club of Tacoma #8 is pleased to announce that Jeff Rounce has assumed the responsibilities of president of the club.  Rounce is the editor and publisher of the Business Examiner newspaper. Rounce’s term as president began on July 1 and goes until June 30, 2009.  Rounce succeeded Pres. Steve Smith, director of Community Relations with the University of Washington-Tacoma.  Pres. Rounce has been a member of Tacoma #8 for 21 years.

Rotary International is a collection of service organizations throughout the world committed to “Service above Self.” The Rotary Club of Tacoma #8 is the eighth oldest Rotary club in the world.  It was founded in 1910. Its 400 members are employed by a wide variety of Pierce County businesses and are dedicated to this area’s growth, health, and prosperity.

For information about this press release, please contact Doug Danstrom by either phone 253.377.1465 or email.

CAP’N RUMGUT: TALL SHIPS TACOMA EVENTS >>>

Ahoy, me hearties. Tis me, Cap’n Rumgut. Aft much addled planning and even more shipshape hype, Tall Ships Tacoma finally be upon us.

Shiver me timbers and gangway, mateys! Tis a time like no other. Wenches and lasses alike be tickled wit’ excitement. Store keeps, sutlers and swag merchants be gearing up for t’ madness. Members of t’ Weekly Volcano staff be ready to splice t’ mainbrace for days on end. Landlubbin’ corporate newspapers from all around t’ port known as Grit City be offering der poxed bilge about what you should do.

Check out me link here fer me and me mates’ list of Tall Ships Tacoma events for the entire length de be docked in Tacoma â€" including tonight’s Shorrre Leave celebration in Tollefson Plaza, TacomaOpolis on Saturday, Museum of Glass’ annual sale and the Black Pirate screening Sunday at the Rialto Theater.

Fer all the Tall Ships Tacoma information ye can shake a wooden leg at, be at th' official Web site.

LINK: Tall Ships Tacoma in the Weekly Volcano
LINK: Feature story on Black Pirate screening at Rialto Sunday
LINK: Tall Ships Tacoma on Spew

STEPH DEROSA: DINNER WITH DEROSA >>>

There’s a new cupcake in town, folks.  Original, unique, and creative ingredients help make this flour induced newbie a real contender.

I noticed The Spotted Dog Cake Company’s tent last week at the downtown Tacoma Farmers Market, and was drawn in by the simple display of tiny little cupcakes.  For 75 cents I was able to pick from four different creations, ultimately choosing a lavender vanilla flavored piece of mini-cupcake bliss.  This week, The Spotted Dog Cake Company will be providing homemade sugary snacks for our theoretical, imaginary, online weekly dinner known as Dinner with DeRosa.

Aside from the Tacoma Farmers Market, I was also able to attend the opening day of this year’s Taste of Tacoma.  Fortunately I have this kick-ass job and a kick-ass boss to work for â€" giving me endless opportunities to get out and be a part of this town.  I get paid the big bucks to hang out in the sun with Matt Driscoll, blog live from events, eat a bunch of greasy alligator (on a stick!), and even drink beer if I feel so inclined.  This week’s Dinner with DeRosa guests are some of the people I had the incredible luck of meeting at the 2008 Taste of Tacoma.

Andrew Wyman, my first guest, is part of the B97.3 street team.  I was immediately charmed by him and wooed toward his tent last Friday as Matt Driscoll and his family waited in line for free S&W rice.  The dude gets paid for just standing there and being the charming, enthusiastic fella that he is.  (I’m talking about Andrew, not Matt.) How can you beat that?  It was his first day on the job, and he was taking it by the horns.  Excellent job â€" and rock on, Andrew!

Dolling out energy drinks only a sugar-bred college student would drink, were the gorgeous members of Everett Community College’s softball team.  I made fun of them for being from the 425, until Kally Behen quickly chimed in to let me know that she was in fact from the 360.  I said that was close enough to my 253 and then gave them all the stamp of coolness.  Joleen Monfiletto and Stacey Todd were the other two beauties that rallied and tolerated my area code abrasiveness.

Remember back in the day, way before cable television and back when the hardest-hitting drug in the schools was pot?  Yeah, that was also back when it was mandatory to drink eight glasses of milk a day.  Then eventually bottled water came to town and poked its head into the markets.  Now, all of the sudden, those eight mandatory glasses of milk becomes eight mandatory glasses of WATER.  I agree that water is vital to your body’s well being, but I also believe that the bottled water companies have had a strong pull in how America now obsesses over this dietary aqua regimen.  Plain and simple, they want your money. I claim my conspiracy theory right here and now. 

Look, I even have proof with this picture I took of a Crystal Waters guy.  He’s saying it right there: STOP Free water!

There’s no need to go into detail about my next dinner guest.  All we need to know is he is sporting a rat tail/mullet combo.  Check the badassedness out.

My last guest is the main man with the plan, the gentleman who led the troops of summer-smitten camp-going youngsters at Annie Wright School, Tal.  Being a graduate of Annie Wright School, Tal is now in college, but has made his way home to lead a summer camp, which housed my daughter for the last two weeks while I did my Weekly Volcano thing sans 5-year-old.  I know my daughter appreciated you and your staff as much as I did, Tal. 

Mangiamo!

SUZY STUMP: GET YOUR TICKETS >>>

They're coming. Are you?

LINK: Tall Ships Tacoma tickets

FESTIVAL
Juneteenth
Many may not know that Juneteenth celebrates African American freedom by commemorating June 19, 1865- the day that Union soldiers landed in Galveston, Texas, with the news that the Civil War had ended and Southern slaves were finally free.

This celebration is the oldest known commemoration of the end of slavery in the United States. While marking that pivotal date, Juneteenth is also about encouraging self-development, unity and respect for all cultures.

This year's Tacoma Juneteenth celebration is open to everyone and features guest speakers Bishop C. Edwards Pringler, Stella Haioulani, General Wojack, Fatimah and many others, plus music, spoken word, food, and raffles, and it will afford attendees the opportunity to learn about Tacoma's African-American history.- Michael Swan
[People's Park, Saturday, June 14, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., free, South Ninth Street and Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.759.0373]

ART
The Neddies
The Neddies are here again. The Neddy Fellowships are among the most prestigious art awards in the state and are granted each year to two worthy Washington state artists in honor of longtime Seattle painter Robert "Ned" Behnke, who died in 1989. Every year for the past four years Tacoma Art Museum has shown works by the winners and nominees. The Neddy Artist Fellowship 2008 exhibit opens Saturday night with live music, hors d-oeuvres and a no-host bar. - Alec Clayton
[Tacoma Art Museum, Saturday, June 14, 7 p.m., $10, members free, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.4258]

SINGER/SONGWRITER
Dave Roberts
On Dave Roberts' business cards, his title reads: -Songwriter / Entertainer and all around good guy. I don't think I could've said it any better myself. At least, that's not what I would say about myself. I am far from being a good guy.

If you've ever had the chance to catch guitarist Dave doing his acoustic cover (with a Mexican flare) thing on any given Tacoma night at any given Tacoma bar, you've seen an entertainer at his best.

Dave Roberts will be empowering Meconi's Pub & Eatery Saturday night. This offers up a great opportunity to hang out, listen to the musical stylings of Roberts, and sip on some of Meconi's righteous beer selections. This event is for the big kids to play, so leave the minors at home. - Steph DeRosa
[Meconi's Pub & Eatery, 7 p.m., 709 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.383.3388]

SPORTS
Roller derby
The Dockyard Derby Dames are real, they rock, they have heart, and they skate like they live, with energy and vivacity and a bit or Rawr for good measure. Whether you're high-brow, monster-truckin', perverse, or hipster. Certainly the past packed-house crowds reflected that, with little kids running amongst an old woman with a walker and all ages and types in between, who watched assorted cool fishnets, cleavage, and butt-cheeks. - Jessica Corey-Butler
[Tacoma Soccer Center, Saturday, June 14, 7 p.m., $10-$12, 2610 Bay St. E., Tacoma, www.dockyardderbydames.com]

ALT-COUNTY
Jeffery Halford and the Healers
While Ryan Adams is credited with popularizing alt-country, he never really did it for me. I like my country a bit more rough around the edges, and Jeffery Halford and the Healers fit my liking. The San Francisco-based, Dallas-born and-raised Halford is a singer/songwriter who plays a mean six-string. With shades of country, blues and rock and roll, he and his band play with a fiery fury that is raucously delightful.

Growing up, he was inundated with music by everyone from Ray Charles and Dave Brubeck to Johnny Cash and Elvis and books by Walt Whitman and Dylan Thomas. It was these two mediums that shaped Halford as an artist. His personal story would make a great movie as he gave up architecture schooling to become a street singer in San Francisco until the police shut down his corners. This led him to Oakland where he played alongside blues legends Sonny Lane, Mississippi Johnny Waters and JJ Malone. His hard living as a young man prepared him to pen honest accounts of brawling, boozing and loving, and he is about as authentic as the day is long. - Tony Engelhart
[Jazzbones, 8:30 p.m., $8, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]

LINK: South 11th & Sarah Connor CD Release Party and more in the clubs tonight.
LINK: The movie starting times are here.
LINK: Let's eat Mexican today.

ALEXANDRA DELONG: WHATCHA WEARING GOES TO THE DOGS >>>

We often turn to our favorite celebrities for fashion inspiration, whether it’s the hottest new bag or latest designer look â€" they always show us the new upcoming trends for the season. This summer, for most Hollywood starlets, the best accessory (besides oversized sunglasses), is a cuddly designer dog.

Best gal pals Vera Berg and Ruby Shillelagh can be found looking street chic and glamorous taking their daily walk around Wright Park. Two-year-old Berg, a miniature wild-boar dachshund looks sassy and sweet in her pink dress from PetSmart, matching her well manicured nails. Berg's studded collar is a nod to her sometimes rebellious ways and contrasts nicely with her smooth coat. She keeps it sleek and glossy by eating organic dog food from Lucky Dog Outfitters.

Shillelagh, also a fan of Lucky Dog Outfitter's food and clothes, struts her stuff in one of their cozy stripped hooded sweaters. This gorgeous Bichon and Shitzu mix (Teddy Bear breed) may only be 3 months old, but she knows fashion. She enjoys spa bathing treatments and getting her fur styled at Clip N' Clean to stay looking fresh, and around her neck is an imitation Burberry collar from PetSmart to complete her high end appearance.

So repay your pooch for keeping you trendy and being your best accessories, with lots of love and by accessorizing them.

Then take them to the Strut Your Mutt day-long event and dog fashion show on Saturday.

BRAD ALLEN: AHOY, MATE >>>

Me sees the tickets for Tall Ships Tacoma will go on sale Monday, May 19. I can't waited to see the sticks of those masts sail into Tacoma again. The sight of them bobbing over the waves of Puget Sound makes me aging timbers shiver with excitement.

Me leg is hobbled. Me eye be gone, and me hand be nothing but a hook. But I can still toss down a few pints and still run a landlubber clean through with the blade of me cutlass whenever I feels like it. Arrrgh.

Some 30 wooden ladies are set to arrive July 3 and stay for a five-day layover during the Independence Day weekend for a little Arrr and Arrr, if you get me drift.

Stop, stop, STOP!

I don't care what Pappi Swarner says â€" I can't do this pirate crap.  Go here on Monday to buy your damn Tall Ships tickets.

LINK: Tall Ships Tacoma Web site.

MATT DRISCOLL: A LONG WAY FROM TACOMA >>>

Coachella, a yearly fiasco in the desert of California that has become the biggest and baddest American alternative music festival there is, went down over the weekend.

Let’s be honest. I didn’t go. And you probably didn’t either.

Lucky for us the NY Times did go to Coachella, and they wrote about it.

Here’s what we missed.

RON SWARNER: ONCE UPON A TIME >>>

I spotted Tacoma artist Ms. Darcy dressed as Little Red Riding Hood this morning at the Junior Daffodil Parade. She was strolling with the North Tacoma Montessori Center peeps.  The Big Bad Wolf was hot on her trail.

Hey, could that Big Bad Wolf really be ...

DA da duh duuuuum ...

OK, Tacoma Urbanist beat me to the draw.