BRAD ALLEN: PUYALLUP FAIR >>>

The Puyallup Fair is making deals online. Check it here.

RON SWARNER: HOTROD-A-RAMA PHOTOS >>>

Tacoma's Hotrod-A-Rama this weekend was a spectacular and thrilling event that combined traditional hot rods with superior slap and twang bands in and around Tacoma's Swiss Pub. Check out our photos here.

STEPH DEROSA: HOTROD-A-RAMA >>>

Hotrod-A-Rama was where it was AT this weekend.  Thank goodness for the Marty Campbell and Buzzard Discs for adopting the Volcano Lounge, or else I would have nowhere else to host this week’s Dinner with DeRosa.  It wasn’t after I used his private restroom 15 times (damn Pabst Blue Ribbon) that I realized he was keeping tally and going to ask me to return the favor by buying him an equal amount of drinks.

I’m hoping that Marty will once again let us use his private restroom as we embark on another Hotrod-A-Rama themed Dinner with DeRosa.

Friday night’s Hotrod-A-Rama party at The Swiss gave me an ample reminder of old college days, beer soaked floors, sweaty drunk men, and crowded bars.  There was no band-aid to repair anyone’s busted body bubble as asses were accidentally groped and elbow checks were to be had left and right.  Fortunately there were numerous familiar faces, such as my good friend Lindsey Silver.  Lindsey and I together have survived being in Packwood, Wash., at the epicenter of an earthquake, fights over fund-raisers, and many drunken nights.  She will definitely be in attendance for this week’s DWD.

Shawn Wheelock was in the house Friday night for sure.  Hell, he was in the house and around the house all weekend at the Hotrod-A-Rama.  Thank you Shawn for the fantastic hugs, positive smiles, and all the exhausting work you put into the event to make it so incredible.  I’d love for you to be a part of our imaginary dinner this week.  Pretty please, would you?

Just as the crowd was at it’s thickest, and the stench of body sweat began to permeate your clothes â€" Farts O’Toole steps up to plate. We’re pretty sure Mr. O’Toole was the culprit in clearing the room Friday night at The Swiss.  A reeking odor of rotten eggs and worm-infested cantaloupe singed our nose hairs as our gag reflexes started to kick in.  Farts O’Toole tried his hardest to play innocent and look around as though he was disgusted as well, but you’re not fooling us.  You’re invited this week to dinner because you’re pretty darn good-looking, but don’t show up empty handed when we open the door.  You better be packin’ the Gas-X in your back pocket, brother.

The Red Hot wasn’t the only hot dog game in town this weekend.  Look at these dogs!  This tiny lady carrying a heaping plate of large wieners was instantaneously a picture I needed to take.  We’re chowing on those suckers for dinner this week.  Unless they give Mr. O’Toole gas, then he gets none.

Donna Bleed and MyTai Smashya of Tacoma’s very own Dockyard Derby Dames will be in attendance.  Why?  Because they kick ass.  That’s the only reason I need.

Lastly, and most importantly, Sue Walla will be dining with us this week.  I’m honored to have had the conversation I had with her seeing as how she is the mom of Chris Walla, Death Cab For Cutie’s guitarist.   As some of you may know, I am not a fan of the band.  It’s even become a running joke that I dislike their sound.  Even after Sue became aware of this, she still talked to me with nothing but grace, compassion, and understanding.  I can’t even begin to tell you what positive light her words brought, and what they meant to me.  The respect I have for this woman, and the newfound respect I have for Death Cab For Cutie, is immeasurable.  No, their tunes still don’t strike the right personal chords in my heart â€" but as musicians and human beings I have gained nothing but a newborn admiration for this little Seattle band called Death Cab for Cutie.

Mangiamo!

NATASHA GORBACHEV: HOTROD-A-RAMA TEASER >>>

The event organizers behind everyone's all-time favorite Tacoma event, Hotrod-A-Rama, were so kind in inviting Carmen and I to the Amocat Speed Emporium's open house in Puyallup yesterday, which is known throughout that land as the Hotrod-A-Rama prefunc.

And these guys and gals certainly did it up.

Hundreds of people showed up. Gorgeous hot rods lined the streets, we ate the tastiest BBQ food, models posed with cars for photo shoots, everyone was a blue-ribbon winner with PBR, and we met some of the nicest people that we can't wait to party with again at the big show.

Here are some pics from this colorful function.

You'd better be damn sure to attend this year's Hotrod-A-Rama, taking place on Aug. 1 and 2 within and around the Swiss Pub, 1904 Jefferson Ave.

You'll also want to consult with this Thursday's Weekly Volcano where I'll give you the full low-down and this fun festival.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Rev your engines now.

RON SWARNER: OLD TOWN BLUES FESTIVAL AT NIGHT >>>

After The Tudors Choir and quality time with the Illuminating the Word: The Saint John’s Bible exhibit at the Tacoma Art Museum last night, I ran back to the Old Town Blues Festival to catch the Tim Hall Band inside The Spar. Reading the crowd, guitarist Tim Hall steered his sets toward the funky, groovy side of his repertoire, although many were just trying to hang on from a long day drinking in the festival's beer gardens.

It was a fun night of dancing with my fellow sunburns.

LINK: Old Town Blues Festival photos in our Photo Hot Spot.

RON SWARNER: TACOMA OLD TOWN BLUES FESTIVAL >>>

Made the rounds at the Old Town Blues Festival today in, er, Old Town Tacoma. It's packed right now with more cars arriving for tonight's shows. The highlight was Little Bill Engelhart in the secluded Mountaineers Stage. You must hear this Tacoma legend once in your life.

Check out a few of my snapshots in our Photo Hot Spot.

Get down there. Your $20 goes to help fight breast cancer.

Evening Concerts

Old Town Blues Tickets Required

Concerts 21 & Older
The Slavonian Hall “Blues Café”
8:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m: Becki Sue & the Big Rockin Daddies

The Spar
8:30-12:30 a.m.: Tim Hall Band

The Slavonian Hall “Main Stage”
8:30 p.m.-1:00 a.m.: Junkyard Jane
Opening: Angel Grace

Mountaineers Legends Stage
8:30 p.m.-1:00 a.m: Joe McMurrien Qartet

SUZY STUMP: THEY ARE SAILING AWAY >>>

The Tall Ships are leaving Tacoma Tuesday. Are you sad?  We are. The Weekly Volcano spent some quality time in the Tall Ships Tacoma 2008 village. Check out our Tall photos in our Photo Hot Spot.

This rolled out of the Tall Ships Tacoma Media Center today:

TACOMA, July 7, 2008 â€" The departure of the U.S. Coast Guard Eagle and the launching of a Maori dugout canoe were among the highlights of the final day of the Tall Ships® Tacoma Festival.

“Vessel captains, visitors, vendors, sponsors, community partners, volunteers … all of them sang the festival’s praises,” said David Doxtater, festival executive director. “We succeeded in making this event a great one for everyone involved.”

Jonathan R. Harley, race director for the American Sail Training Association, described this year’s event as simply “fantastic.”

“It far surpasses what they did in 2005,” Harley said. “There are many things much improved.”

Harley recalled one vessel captain who said, “I’m not going,” when told it was time to leave Tacoma.  Harley said crews he’s spoken with have said that everywhere they went they’ve been “treated like rock stars.”

ASTA contracts with communities to put on the Tall Ships® events. In 2005, ASTA awarded Tacoma “Port of the Year” honors. This year’s selection â€" dependent in a large part on the vote of vessel captains â€" will be announced at an ASTA conference Nov. 14-16 in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

About 50,000 people visited the festival today.  Overall, approximately 400,000 people attended the festival during its five-day run.

Preliminary attendance numbers are based on estimates of crowds, Tacoma Dome parking and consultation with the Tacoma Police Department. More complete attendance and ticket sales reports will be available in a few weeks, Doxtater said.

“The rain had a big impact on attendance but those who came despite the weather had a great time and enjoyed themselves,” he said.

A “bon voyage” party for volunteers is scheduled today starting at 6 p.m. in Thea’s Park, located in the Treasure Cove Village of the festival. At a ceremony tentatively scheduled to start at 6:45 p.m., Doxtater will honor Tacoma Tall Ships® Organization President Joe Jadwin and festival Volunteer Manager Sue Schaeffer for their efforts.

TTSO is the nonprofit group overseeing the festival. Schaeffer supervised the recruiting, scheduling and training of more than 2,000 volunteers who assisted with the event.

The weather was excellent on the final day of the festival, which featured the departure of the U.S. Coast Guard Eagle to cheering crowds and the launching of a Maori dugout canoe.

“I can’t say enough for the welcome and all the hard work to bring this festival together,” said Capt. Christopher Sinnett of the Eagle, during an event Sunday. “Tacoma has really rolled out the red carpet.”

As Eagle sailed away, Takirirangi Smith launched his 20-foot dugout cedar canoe, which featured Maori carvings. Smith spent the festival carving the craft at the Foss Waterway Seaport, which will feature a celebration of canoes in 2011.

Most vessels in the Tall Ships® fleet will leave tomorrow between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. for Port Alberni, British Columbia, for the Festival of Sails scheduled this weekend. Eagle will head south to Tall Ships® events in San Francisco.

Information about the Tacoma Tall Ships® Organization and the festival can be obtained online. Those interested in getting involved with the nonprofit group can call (253) 272-5650.

STEPH DEROSA: DINNER WITH DEROSA >>>

The fine people of the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters still seem to think it’s a good idea to give me access to media/press passes.  Until they figure out that their precious reputation is getting nothing but tarnished by this, I will continue to graciously accept said elite badges of honor.

My guests for this week’s Dinner with DeRosa are all individuals who unfortunately (or fortunately) fell into my line of fire as I made my mark on Tall Ships Tacoma this weekend.

Immediately upon entering the media area at Tall Ships, I scoped out the room of desks where nerds like Scott Fontaine were on the spot blogging with access to super fast wi-fi Internet connections.  See, to be cool like me what you do is just wait until the last minute to write up your blog.  If you want to be even cooler you wait until after your editor has asked for it three times and threatened termination.  Not something I really recommend, but I feel cool nonetheless. 

Next I perused the media area’s free snack and beverages table.  Moon Pies, granola bars, and bananas made my tummy grumble as I filled up my purse with as much grub that would fit.   

Next stop: harass the innocent Tall Ships volunteers.  The main question I had for these ladies was, “What ship has the hottest sailors?”  The awesome Delphine, Arlene, and Kathy were quick to answer, “The USCGC Eagle!”  You know how I knew these ladies were so awesome?  They already had picture proof of the sailor hotness.  I looked at the pictures, picked my jaw up off the ground, and quickly reserved my spot for an interview with the gorgeous young lads.

The next day I showed up for my interviews and ship tours they had set up for me.  I was told I’d be given a personal escort.  Wait, they were giving me an escort?  And I didn’t have to pay for him?  Could I pick him out, or what?  I was so excited.  I licked my lips and fluffed my hair as I anxiously waited for my partially tattooed exchange student from Spain to enter the room. 

Instead I got Sharon.  Even though it was the FIFTH of July (Sharon, I’m talking to you), she had American Independence flowing through her veins.  So much so that it bled all the way into her fingernails.  See for yourself.

We immediately bonded and raced down to the USCGC Eagle to interview hot cadets.  Petty Officer Sean Eggert was our liaison.  He was so chill he didn’t even flinch when I requested to talk to a cadet “with some personality, please.”  You know it’s like pulling teeth trying to spotlight a boring geek with questions.

Petty Officer Eggert took a few minutes below deck, and resurfaced with Alexander Rulon in tow.  Eeee-yikes, he was cute.  This fresh 19 year old will be this Thursday’s victim in the Weekly Volcano’s print version of Trouble With DeRosa.  Pick one up and check it out, yo.

So, just for fun â€" let me show you the velocity of hotness that was going on aboard this ship:

I learned a new word that will from now on have multiple perverted meanings:  Baggy Wrinkle.  Baggy Wrinkle is the rope looking stuff on the lines that keeps the sails from chaffing.  Baggy Wrinkle.  Tee-hee!  Makes me giggle.

The line to get aboard the USCGC Eagle had a wait of over an hour.  I couldn’t imagine waiting in a line like that for anything but an all male nude review, so I asked Samantha if it was worth it.  Her answer: “Oh heck yes!”  Good to hear, Samantha.  She did have one small complaint that she had waited for hours in the line just the day before, but the event closed for the day before she could board the Eagle.  So, today she had to pay the $20 again, only to wait back in line, again.  Shouldn’t there be some sort of stamp or something so she could just come back the next day â€" since she had been waiting all that time the day before?

It didn’t take much to convince my personal escort Sharon to hijack one of the golf carts and motor my butt through Tall Ships.  She was just as naughty as I was, and I loved it.  We had Tall Ships at our fingertips.  We then met up with Captain Robin Patterson of Tug Joe, the local tugboat here in town.

16-year-old Nicole Rambo was going through all ships, making sure to get her passport stamped and taking the time to get crew signatures.

Sharon and I stopped for some Hawaiian Ice as we sat on the Glass Museum steps and people watched.  I don’t remember this guy’s name, but he is a retired Marine that came to us chocked full of dirty jokes.  He made me laugh, and I liked him.

Jack Sparrow was in full effect.  The way he glanced my body up and down…wow…just wow.  He made my knees buckle simply with his eyes.  He didn’t even say a single word, and I buckled like a perverted soufflé. 
Since I wasn’t going to be getting any action from any real sailors or pirates, I found my own perfect blow up doll.

A couple of hours later, we returned with the golf cart (keeping our occasional stroller collision to a minimum), and boy oh boy, were we in trouble.  I still had to tour the Kaisei and HMS Bounty, but they were not letting Sharon and I go alone again.  We were busted, and this time they sent a third escort with us.  This is where the fun ended, and I had to simply keep my mouth shut and take pictures.  Sharon and I both pouted. 

Fortunately, I was allowed to take some time and talk to a crewmember of the Kaisei.  It took he and his seven-member crew nine and a half days to sail their ship from Sausalito, CA into our tiny port.  The northwest winds were so strong coming up the coast that it literally beat them up, as they could only use gas power (not sails) to move forward.   He also shared with me that since the Kaisei was originally used for Japanese sail training, that all instructions and gadgets were in Japanese.  It makes for the initial learning curve to be a bit more ridged, but “It’s an easy ship to navigate,” the sailor stated.

I boarded the HMS Bounty and bit my tongue as the new no-frills escort micro-managed me.  I managed to escape my leash and snap a few shots of the Bounty before my time at Tall Ships was up.

I’ll definitely be back to Tall Ships the next time they come around. Let’s just hope they’ve forgotten my name by then, and all the charges have dropped.

LINK: Dinner with DeRosa archive

CAP’N CLIVE KNIFENOSE: PIRATES AT FREEDOM FAIR >>>

Avast, me hearties! It be not enough to take over the Weekly Volcano this week. Me and me mates also grabbed a slice of yesterday’s Freedom Fair along Ruston Way in Tacoma.

Des pics by from J.M. Simpson. Yarrr!

LINK: Thar be more pics on the Weekly Volcano’s Photo Hot Spot thingy.