WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Madame Slimball: Jacqueline Nicole Carr is in the Pierce County Jail after allowing awo 15-year-old girls to prostitute themselves in the home she shares with her two young sons. (News Tribune)

Mister Slimeball: Lakewood police are chasing a man suspected of sexually assaulting a woman at gunpoint inside her apartment. (News Tribune)

Afghan President To U.S.: Get the hell out. (CNN)

Senate Democrats Are Pissed: The Violence Against Women Act once enjoyed broad bipartisan support but now faces fierce opposition from Republicans. (The New York Times)

Business Advice: Twenty-two executives share the best advice they ever received. (Business Insider)

Circus Boost: Scientists plan to clone the Woolly Mammoth. (Time)

Incest?: Whitney Houston's daughter likely doing it with Whitney Houston's adopted son. (Gawker)

Out Of Luck: HBO has canceled Luck. (Yahoo)

Better Luck: Portlandia will return for a third season. (LaughSpin)

This Report Brought To You By Geritol: Rolling Stones push back its 50^th Anniversary Tour to 2013. (Rolling Stone)

Need Sleep?: Christopher Walken reads Where the Wild Things Are. (boingboing)

Put Some Clothes On Girls

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Weather: It's still messed up. (News Tribune)

Foothills: Your morning arithmetic quiz has been canceled due to snow. (News Tribune)

Dale Washam Update: The Pierce County Council wants him gone. (News Tribune)

6th Congressional Contention: State legislators Jan Angel and Jim Hargrove have bowed out of contention as successors to U.S. Rep. Norm Dicks. (News Tribune)

Afghanistan: The Obama administration is discussing a speedier pullout. (The New York Times)

Syria: Many women and children are among those killed in a year of attacks by the government, a U.N. official says. (CNN)

Jack Kerouac: Too bad he's not alive to see his only play staged for the first time. (Yahoo)

Kiss Mini-Golf Course: It's opening in Las Vegas this week. (NME)

Pork Donuts: Dunkin' Donuts will serve them in China. (Laughing Squid)

Background Music: Enjoy the '70s during your busy work today. (Network Awesome)

Grandpa Joe Gets Harshed

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Why You Can't Read Morning Spew: Because your power is out. (News Tribune)

Not Good: Taliban vow revenge for Joint Base Lewis-McChord Army staff sergeant who went on a killing rampage in Afghanistan. (CNN)

Finally: Pierce County leaders stopped paying Assessor-Treasure Dale Washam's legal bills. (News Tribune)

President Obama's Health Care Law: It's go time for Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. (The New York Times)

Bob Dylan: He's working on a new album. (The Guardian)

Guns N' Roses: Reunion unlikely at Rock And Roll Hall of Fame induction. (NME)

Taylor Swift: She was the highest-earning musician of 2011. (BBC)

We Have To Drive To Lynnwood?: AMC Theaters to hold ultimate Marvel Marathon on May 3. (Coming Soon)

Will Ferrell: He has a new music video. (Hollywood Reporter)

Will This Happen In Tacoma April 23?

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Go Tacoma!: A consortium of three shipping lines is leaving Seattle for the Port of Tacoma. (Seattle Times)

Tacoma Narrows Bridge Toll: You'll need to break your piggy bank. (News Tribune)

Tacoma School Of The Arts: Here comes the first-ever freshman class. (News Tribune)

Lights, Camera, More Action: Washington's Legislature brings back tax credits to lure movie production to the state. (News Tribune)

The Economy: U.S. employers continued the stronger pace of hiring last month, but the overall job market is not out of the woods yet. (CNN)

Health Care Law: The Obama administration has begun an aggressive campaign. (The New York Times)

Maya Rudolph: The Fresh Air interview. (NPR)

Ralph Baer: 90-year-old video game pioneer. (Boing Boing)

Mantyhose: Nylons for guys aren't for Robin Hood anymore. (Time)

Nerd Alert: The 15 nerdiest Saturday Night Live sketches. (Topless Robot)

Today In Craptastic!

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Snow: Yes, get your ass ready for school. (News Tribune)

Tacoma Gangs: They are targeting middle schoolers. (KPLU)

Bremerton School Shooting: Warrant out for the dumbass mother. (News Tribune)

Washington State's Minimum-Bail Bill: House Bill 2668 died. (The Olympian)

Iran Nuclear Talks: United States and five other countries want to hug it out. (CNN)

Super Tuesday: Nearly 20 percent of the delegates to the Republican convention will be chosen tonight. (The New York Times)

Hack This: Three members of the infamous hacking group Lulzsec are arrested, and charges against other suspects are expected to follow. (BCC)

Happiest Cities in the U.S.: Did the South Sound make the list? (The Daily Beast)

Facebook Vs. Bands: Out of tune. (Hypebot)

Cat Curfew: Japan's popular cat cafes are getting slapped with a curfew. (Time)

Was It Over When The Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor?: Animal House musical is planned. (The New York Times)

French Prankster Remi Gaillard: He lives in an elevator now. (Laughing Squid)

And then there's this ...

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Tomorrow Morning: The commute will suck. (News Tribune)

Tacoma Vs. Kidnappers: The Tacoma Police will have a special team and a special plan. (News Tribune)

Something To Think About On This Rainy Morning: A report says Pierce County river levees and flood control structures are not good. (News Tribune)

Putin, Um, Wins?: Foul play reported as Vladimir Putin looks set to return to the Russian presidency four years after he was forced out by term limits. (CNN)

Super Tuesday: Looks as if the Republican Party will rally around Mitt Romney. (The New York Times)

Syria: Syrians fleeing Homs accuse security forces of committing atrocities, including summary executions. (BBC)

What Would Great-Grandma Eat?: White Bread: A Social History of the Store-Bought Loaf. (The Chronicle)

Playing With Infinity of Rikers Island: Math reduces pretty things like the moon to ugly things like orbital periods. Yet a concise equation can reveal the magic of pure thought. (Prospect)

Ballboy's Worst Nightmare: A gallery filled with bouncing tennis balls. (Flavorwire)

Game Of Thrones Vs. The Simpsons: An awesome opening parody. (Laughing Squid)

Lindsay Lohan on SNL: What the critics are saying. (Hollywood Reporter)

And Finally: Pop culture icons who are also occasional nudists. (Flavorwire)

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Leadership Change: Stewart Middle School Principal Jon Ketler - founder of Tacoma School of the Arts and the Science and Math Institute - forced out due to complaints. (News Tribune)

Camp Murray Gate: The proposed move might cause unsafe conditions for Tillicum residents. (News Tribune)

Narrows Bridge Toll: It's going to cost Tacomans more to go chill on the deck at Tides Tavern. (News Tribune)

Oh Crap: A line of storms stretching from Illinois to Louisiana may cause tornadoes and severe weather in the battered Midwest. (CNN)

Yelp Help: The online hub for local business reviews priced its initial public offering at $15 a share. (The New York Times)

Twister Waves: Researchers describe a completely new way to pack information into radio, TV, and wi-fi signals. (BBC)

Davy Jones: Peter Tork shares memories of his former Monkees bandmate. (USA Today)

The Shins: Grab updates and listen to the band's songs. (Paste Magazine)

Awesome: A 24-hour ATM machine dispenses cupcakes. (Dvice) 

Awesome II: Vintage cats and dogs dressed as people. (BuzzFeed)

Awesome III: Art made from Oero cookies. (1 Design Per Day)

Mad Urbanism: Architect looking for investors and/or victims for his giant see-through maze. (Io9)

Panty Fight: Navajo Nation files a lawsuit against Urban Outfitters over the Navajo Hipster Panty. (Jezebel)

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Pacific Lutheran University: The institution hires its 13^th president, who's not Lutheran. (News Tribune)

Point Ruston: The $150 million mixed-use retail and office complex will offer 3-D glasses and popcorn at its center. (News Tribune)

2012: Severe storms leave a trail of death and destruction through the Midwest. (CNN)

Gas At $5 A Gallon?: Major disruption in oil supplies could make it happen. (The New York Times)

Syria: Rebel fighters say they are tactically withdrawing from the besieged Baba Amr quarter of Homs after nearly a month of government shelling. (BBC)

140-Character Limbo: Where to tweets go when they die? (Mother Board)

Spread The Love: 13 Dr. Seuss pickup lines for your potential Sneech Muffin. (How About We)

Das Ist Sehr Gut: Star Wars yoga. (Thaeger)

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

They Must Have Taken It For A Spin: The Pierce County Council changed its mind and approved spending a whopping $730,000 for a new saltwater patrol and rescue boat for the Sheriff's Department. (News Tribune)

Senate Democratic Budget Plan: They'd like to spare public schools and universities from new spending cuts. (News Tribune)

Sucks To Be The Boss: The athletic director at Tacoma Community College will receive a two-week suspension without pay because his men's basketball coach is a bonehead. (News Tribune)

Moratoriums-O-Plenty: North Korea has agreed to back off at one of its key nuclear facility AND to knock off the long-range missile launches. (CNN)

Go To Your Room!: Rupert Murdoch's media empire, News Corporation, announced on Wednesday that his son James had stepped down as executive chairman of News International, the British newspaper subsidiary that is under scrutiny amid a phone-hacking scandal at the company's tabloids. (The New York Times)

Charlie Sheen: FX sets premiere date for his Anger Management. (Coming Soon)

Bring It: The Girl Scouts have hooked up with Nestle on a new candy bar. (Huffington Post)

The Lone Ranger Is Riding Again: Johnny Depp is in the saddle. (USA Today)

Lea Thompson Is 50: And the Los Angeles Times chatted with her. (Los Angeles Times)

They Did It! World record for human mattress dominoes shattered. (DVIce)

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Snow: It's possible. (News Tribune)

Stamped: Plan to shift Tacoma postal operations is official, cutting 139 jobs. (Bellingham Herald)

School Shootings: Why is U.S. No. 1. (CNN)

Your Phone: Why are they becoming uncontrollable monsters. (CNN)

Presidential Primary: A defeat today for Mitt Romney could send the nominating fight onto an unpredictable path and reset the Republican race. (The New York Times)

Sean Young Back In the News: The weird chick was arrested in post-Oscar fight. (USA Today)

Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah: Here comes the Griswolds and a National Lampoon's Vacation remake. (Den of Geek)

Mad Men: It's oh so close. (Coming Soon)

Drew Barrymore Wine: Her Pinot Grigio is crispy and fresh, so they say. (Huffington Post)

Cook Like Batgirl: Geektastic superhero aprons. (Geeks Are Sexy)

Fake Happy Faces: Giant set of gifs created from Oscar loser reaction shots. (Four Four)

Awesome Chemistry Experiment Of The Day