<<< MONDAY, MARCH 24 GAMES CLOSED >>>

If the South Sound had a signature dish, what would it be? I think it must be the hamburger. And who doesn't adore a juicy ground patty of beef in the mellow embrace of a good bun? In fact, the most common last meal requested by death row inmates is the cheeseburger, and it's a favorite of office workers, too, who only feel like they're on death row.

Welcome to day five of the Tournament of Burgers, featuring 64 of the South Sound's best against one another in the mother of all burger brackets. Below is a recap of yesterday's burger action followed by eight new burger joints hitting the grill today.

Yesterday's Results

Game 1: NetShed No. 9 vs. Harmon Brewery & Eatery

NetShead No. 9 beat The Harmon in downtown Tacoma by 270 votes. That's a mind blower.

Game 2: Five Guys Burger and Fries vs. Engine House No. 9

The buzz about Five Guys' famous burgers being the best burgers ever flipped into existence has reached the Tournament of Burgers. The thinnish, griddle-cooked patties grabbed 62 percent of the votes yesterday against E-9. Five Guys' daily-ground beef is lightly packed and grilled to a savory, caramelized crunch, then stacked into twos and loaded into a supple, sesame-seed bun. It faces off with NetShed No. 9 in the Second Round March 29.

Game 3: Meconi's Pub Tacoma vs. The Hub-Gig Harbor

The Hub in Gig Harbor led the game at noon, riding the back of its delicious Stumpjumper Burger and used a strong burger flipping style to build a working margin. The Hub took its biggest lead at 1 p.m. Then The Hub suddenly went cold, going 60 minutes without a point while Meconi's started inching back into the game. By 6 p.m., under the leadership of its Mushroom Burger, Meconi's shot ahead in the vote count. It doesn't matter The Hub in Gig Harbor has a better view and airplane rides. Meconi's grabbed 72 percent of the votes and a spot in the Second Round.

Game 4: Tatanka Takeout vs. The Swiss

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be a 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you." That famous quote comes from the beloved Winner the Pooh. That quote could have easily come from a regular at Tatanka Takeout speaking on his or her love for the Ruston joint's bison burgers. And while Tatanka makes a tasty bison burger, I imagine if this were the Tournament of Chalk Board Writing, Tatanka would still have gathered 75 percent of the votes. Don't mess with Tatanka, at least until March 29 when Meconi's Pub gives it a shot.

Let's weed through the condiments. The following are advancing to the Second Round:

• NetShed No. 9
• Five Guys Burger and Fries
• Meconi's Pub Tacoma
• Tatanka Takeout

The daily burger battles on Walkie Talkie are sponsored by Ricky J's Restaurant and Lounge in Puyallup.

OK, let's dive into today's First Round burger battles. Vote for one burger joint per game. Voting for today's burger battles ends at 11:45 p.m. 

<<< VOTING FOR FRIDAY, MARCH 21 GAMES IS NOW CLOSED >>>

For the past several months, I ate a bunch of burgers. It's my job, at least in terms of this crazy tournament. At each South Sound burger joint, I tried the most standard cheeseburger, fries, onion rings and shakes (for a while, at least). I also tried specialty burgers, if available, and paid special attention to secret sauces. I took notes on napkins, backs of menus, five note apps (why can't I decide?) and even receipts. This isn't something I recommend you try. My weight and blood pressure increased. Hopefully, you're basing your game decisions on years of burger eating in the South Sound. If you're a newbie, I suggest you pick a game a week. Use the attached Tournament of Burgers bracket to plot your course.

Without further ado, let's take a gander at yesterday's results, then preview today's matches.

Yesterday's Results

Game 1: Eastside Big Tom vs. Ricky J's Restaurant

There's something green at Olympia burger shack Big Tom - and it's not on the menu, which is bare of all vegetables save the humble potato and a few lonely burger toppings. Instead, it's just about everywhere else. Owner Michael Fritsch has taken the classic drive-in and made it green, with features ranging from solar hot water to food waste recycling to a parking spot where customers can charge their electric cars. Yes, people who drive Priuses really do eat burgers slathered in Goop, the secret special sauce. And apparently a fleet of them voted yesterday as Eastside Big Tom edged out Ricky J's with 62 percent of the votes.

Game 2: Steele Creek American Whiskey Co. vs. Oakhouse Restaurant and Bar

Deep in the northwest corner of the city of Lakewood, between the winding streets named after rocks, underneath hundreds of giant oak trees and along the back edge of the Oakbrook neighborhood sits the Oakhouse Restaurant and Bar. It's not the easiest place to find. Coach John Tartaglia took advantage of Oakhouse's hidden location, pushing his eighth seeded Steel Creek to victory with 61 percent of the votes, behind solid play from his Black and Bleu Burger. Steel Creek faces off with Eastside Big Tom in Second Round action March 28.

Game 3: Bootlegger's Bar & Grill vs. Eagon's Westside Drive-Inn

Bootlegger's opened its first Tournament of Burgers with a romp against Olympia burger shack Eagon's in yesterday's First Round action. Grabbing 63 percent of the votes, the Buckley burger king dominated the griddle for much of the game, only letting up a little when a herd of elk outside distracted the cook.

Game 4: Best Burgers vs. Nisqually Bar & Grill

Best Burgers in Lakewood grabbed Nisqually Bar & Grill by the trucker hat and gave them an ass-whooping, grabbing 80 percent of the votes. Best Burgers moves on to the Second Round, facing Bootlegger's March 28.

Let's weed through the condiments. The following are advancing to the Second Round:

• Eastside Big Tom
• Steele Creek American Whiskey Co.
• Bootlegger's Bar & Grill
• Best Burgers

The daily burger battles on Walkie Talkie are sponsored by Ricky J's Restaurant and Lounge in Puyallup.

OK, let's dive into today's First Round burger battles. Vote for one burger joint per game. Voting for today's burger battles ends at 11:45 p.m. 

FRIDAY, MARCH 21 2014 >>>

1. Jack and Diane sucked on chili dogs outside the Tastee-Freeze. Danny and Sandy, they went strollin' and drank lemonade. And you? Was it over something in a cone or on a stick, deep-fried or double-dipped? Were you roadside or seaside, at a stand or a shack, a hut, a cart, a parlor, a fountain or an emporium? How many of you became foodies not while nibbling foie gras at some haute downtown hot spot, but as a teenager hanging out at the annual Puyallup Rotary Crab and Oyster Stew Feed? Ready to revisit it? The Rotarians offer all-you-can-eat Dungeness crab, clam chowder, oyster stew, potato soup, coleslaw, potato salad and, of course, hot dogs. Expect a DJ, raffle prizes and impromptu Four Way Tests at 6 p.m. at the Washington State Fairgrounds.

2. The Grand Cinema has long been a ground zero of cinematic art in Tacoma, and that title has only grown with the addition of its fourth screen. With that new screen, The Grand Cinema is able to showcase films every Tuesday that would otherwise not be able to sustain a full week run. Here is where the Documentary Week comes in.

3. Raised in Scandinavia, independent quirky folk meets alternative rock on a day off getting lost Annie Woodward will perform at 8 p.m. in Metronome Coffee in Tacoma.

4. Armed with washboards, spoons, buckets and banjos, slide and stomp, Portland's junkbox blues duo Hillstomp bring an assault of high-energy backwoods punk. How the hell does a person yell harmonious twang without sounding like a drunken hillbilly? Maybe the duo do sound like drunken hillbillies. For this talented twosome, it's charming. Local draw Oly Mountain Boys adds their bluegrass flair to the 9 p.m. show at the new Rhythm and Rye club in downtown Olympia.

5. With big beats and playful narratives, San Francisco's Double Duchess transcends genres and genders through their live experience and high-energy delivery. Catch the duo's 9 p.m. show at Le Voyeur.

LINK: Friday, March 21 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

<<< THURSDAY, MARCH 20 2014 - THE GAMES ARE NOW CLOSED >>>

Four years ago, the Weekly Volcano challenged 64 taco slingers to enter tournament-style culinary combat, shell versus shell, with Moctezuma's crowned best taco. The next year, pizza took center-stage in our quest for gustatory greatness, with Katie Downs' pie reigning supreme. In 2012, it was breakfast time, baby, with Moon Rise Cafe grabbing all the bacon, eggs and hot cakes. Last year, it was all about South Sound sandwiches, with Oliver's Sandwiches in Milton named the best between two slices of bread.

This year, the tradition continues.
 
We speak, of course, of the Weekly Volcano's Tournament of Burgers. Sixty-four area burger joints were selected and seeded by readers throughout February, and now the time has come to see who's best.
 
Only one can be crowned king - so vote on this blog daily. Use the bracket in the March 13 print edition of the Volcano to guide you through the daily matchups (see attached pdf).
 
Then, on April 7, join us at Meconi's Tacoma Pub & Eatery in downtown Tacoma for the Official Tournament of Burgers Party - our winner will be announced during halftime of the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship game.

The daily burger battles on Walkie Talkie are sponsored by Ricky J's Restaurant and Lounge in Puyallup.

OK, let's do a quick cholesterol check, then dive into today's First Round burger battles. Vote for one burger joint per game. Voting for today's burger battles ends at 11:45 p.m.

SUNDAY, MARCH 16 2014 >>>

1. Christian Mistress, Olympia's favorite metal sweethearts, are about to make their home stop on a wailing west coast tour. The bellowing harmonies of a front woman - who was clearly born from the ashes of a phoenix - the dueling guitars that create paths of thunderbolts in your mind, and the brilliant tempo of a drummer who gets in your spine, Christian Mistress is the real deal. Voted by Weekly Volcano readers as the Best Metal Band in the 2014 Best of Olympia issue, you should see this band live at 9 p.m. in The Brotherhood Lounge. On deck is Broken Water with punk rock/shoe gaze delights and Paralyzer with indie dance vibes.

2. Twelve chairs surround the table, and the audience surrounds the chairs. Lakewood Playhouse's 12 Angry Men's set design announces its intentions immediately and without mistake: as an audience, we are made to be conscientious observers, to judge these jurors as they judge a murder. It's an intriguing way to view this show, and it's one of the things that this production gets absolutely right. Read Rev. McKinney's full review of 12 Angry Men in the Music & Culture section, then catch the closing show at 2 p.m. 

3. Conductor Christophe Chagnard, the Northwest Sinfonietta, PLU Choral Union and five soloists perform J.S. Bach's sacred oratorio St. John Passion - a harrowing tale of power, betrayal, murder, love, compassion and hope at 2 p.m. at the Puyallup Pavilion.

4. Children are stubborn creatures. Molding them into the clean, safe-driving, classical-music-loving model citizens you dream of them being is just not as simple as it should be. It takes creativity and an ability to be extremely entertaining for long periods of time. You should share your burden. Take Junior and Junior Junior to Mini Maestros: Jungle Jams at 2:30 p.m. in Schneebeck Hall, where the Tacoma Symphony Orchestra Brass Quintet will teach children how horns, trumpets, trombones and tubas can sound like animals - while you sit in the back and wonder how the musical and zoological worlds all collided without your noticing.

5. Little Bill Engelhart grew up on Hilltop Tacoma and learned rock 'n' roll by playing rhythm and blues with the black musicians' downtown, which was unusual for a young white kid at the time. He formed a band with some of his teenage friends and had a national hit when he was just 19 titled "I'm in Love with an Angel." Life after that seemed a bit anti-climactic. Once you've toured with the most famous musicians of your time, it's hard to come home and be an every day guy. Engelhart turns 75 tomorrow, but still works most days booking, promoting and playing music. At 5 p.m., Englehart will headline the Blues Vespers in the Immanuel Presbyterian Church. Wish him a happy birthday.

LINK: Sunday, March 16 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

THURSDAY, MARCH 13 2014 >>>

1. One of Tacoma's most popular events makes an epic return today. If you've never been to a 100th Monkey bash, here's what you've been missing: wine, food, art, wine, entertainment and, uh... did we mention wine? Participants bring the food and drinks - including non-alcoholic beverages, as this is an all-ages event - but the rest is provided. The Kim Archer Band supplies the music, and monkey tiles, created by artist Kristina Vallery, will be available for $5 a piece. Get in on the party from 7-9 p.m. at Freighthouse Square's Rainier Ball Room.

2. Proctor District's favorite wine bar Pour at Four hosts complimentary wine tastings. It's a beautiful thing. From 5:30-8 p.m., you may taste six Spanish wines.

3. Think running and drinking don't mix unless there's a K-9 unit involved? Not true. The Tacoma Runners - a group of T-town pavement pounders - meet ever Thursday for a 3-mile loop at a "social pace" at one of Tacoma's favorite watering holes. Tonight at 6:30 p.m. is appropriately the Runners' St. Patrick Day outing - based at Doyle's Public House. Wear green and make a damn fool of yourself.

4. The quarterly Ancient Victorys Open Mike brings back some of the 3,000 acoustic music performers from open mikes run by Chris Lunn in this state and California from the 1965 through 1990 to the Antique Sandwich Co. at 7 p.m. 

5. We've enjoyed Rebecca Lea McCarthy's performances before, most recently in Arsenic and Old Lace at Lakewood Playhouse. Turns out she's an author, too, and her second book, Writing the Diaphragm Blues and Other Sexual Cacophonies, was released in 2012. Her stage play's an adaptation of that work, described by one online reviewer as "(p)art memoir, part feminist scholarship...with just enough dirty jokes to keep it a guilty pleasure." Where the chickens fit in, we have absolutely no idea. Read Christian Carvajal's full feature on Singing the Diaphragm Blues in the Music & Culture section, then catch the performance at 8 p.m. in the 4th Wall Players Theatre in Puyallup.

LINK: Thursday, March 13 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

As we mentioned Monday, Tacoma Beer Week is on, and ends Saturday with hoopla at the Parkway Tavern.

Have you tried the special Tacoma Brewers Collaboration Neo Noir Belgian Black IPA? I found one at The Red Hot and another at Narrows Brewing. Four hops varieties produced a fruitiness that melds well with the spiciness of a Belgian yeast strain. Caramel malt, de-husked black malt and Belgian candi syrup builds a rich body without being overly sweet. Nice.

Read more...

Here's a joke to get you in the spirit of St. Patty's Day:

Two Irishmen, Pat and Murphy, saw a sign saying "Tree fellers" wanted.
Murphy said to Pat, "If only Seamus had been with us, we'd have got that job."

Now that you've had a good chuckle, read on for the lowdown about where to get your Irish on in the South Sound.

Friday, March 14

Piping Duo opens the Celtic Festival 2014 at The Harp & Shamrock, 3-5 p.m., 2704 N. Proctor, Tacoma, 253.752.5012. Head to neighboring North End Tavern after for Irish beers.

TK Irish Pub and Eatery hosts Whiskey Syndicate, Ben Union and DJ Triple-Nine while you munch on shepherd's pie, bangers and mash, corned beef and soda bread, 8 p.m., 109 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4791.

Saturday, March 15

It's true what Doyle's Public House in Tacoma proclaims, "Saturday, March 15, is Working Person's St. Patrick's Day." For the special occasion, Doyle's will bring in free live music with The Rusty Cleavers and Ethan Tucker Band and Irish-themed menu specials like the classic corned beef and hash. 8 p.m., no cover, Doyle's Public House, 208 St. Helen's Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.272.7468

The Celtic Festival 2014 continues with Highland piper John Vance at 10 a.m. and Mooncoyne at noon, The Harp & Shamrock, 2704 N. Proctor, Tacoma, 253.752.5012.

The Pierce County Firefighters Pipes and Drums band will be roaming Tacoma on some sort of St. Paddy's Day Pub Crawl. You've been warned.

Pre Patty's Punk Party w/ Shake It Off, Regional Faction, Offtrack and Psycho 78, 8 p.m. no cover, O'Malley's Irish Pub, 2403 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.9403

St. Patty's Party w/The Funk Agency and AKA and The Heart Hurt Goods, 9 p.m., $3, McCoy's Tavern, 418 Fourth Ave., Olympia, 360.352.0696

TK Irish Pub and Eatery hosts Flogging Molly cover band Groove Colony and Grinder while you munch on shepherd's pie, bangers and mash, corned beef and soda bread, 8 p.m., 109 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4791.

Sunday, March 16

The Celtic Festival 2014 continues with Magical Strings, 2-4 p.m. at The Harp & Shamrock.

Traditional Irish group Caladh Nua's will play a wide selection of instruments, such as banjo, fiddle, guitar, bodhran, tin whistle and button accordion. 7:30 p.m., $19-$49, Rialto Theater, 301 N. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253.591.5894

Monday, March 17

And for those of you who don't work normal hours (I'm looking at you service-industry, college students and artists with your own hours), on actual St. Patrick's Day, we have parties for you, too.

Doyle's Public House opens the doors at 6 a.m. and the party won't stop until 1:59 a.m. The music lineup includes The Missionary Position, Staxx Brothers, Science and Stephanie Anne Johnson. If you're worried about standing in line, come in and get the 2014 St. Patrick's Day shirt. It takes care of the door charge and there is no waiting in line while you are wearing it. Pro tip: Ask for Tuesday off.

The Celtic Festival 2014 ends with Irish dancers Scoil Rince Slieveloughane at 1 p.m. and Highland piper Jack Montgomery at 3 p.m. at The Harp & Shamrock.

TK Irish Pub and Eatery hosts Folsom Prism and Just Dirt while you munch on shepherd's pie, bangers and mash, corned beef and soda bread, 8 p.m., 109 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4791.

The Hub at Gig Harbor Airport will be throwing a bash featuring games, contests, beer, booze and Irish food, 6 p.m., 1208 26th Ave. NW, Gig Harbor, 253.853.1585.

Rock the Dock Pub & Grill will be throwing a ShamRock & Roll St. Pat's Party, 6 p.m., 535 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.272.5004.

At The Brotherhood Lounge in Olympia, DJ Slimrock will spin soul, funk and more. And as in years past, there might be a surprise visit from bagpipers as well. Jameson's Irish Whiskey and Guinness specials. 9 p.m., no cover, The Brotherhood Lounge, 119 Capitol Way, Olympia, 360. 352.4153

And at O' Blarney's Irish Pub, there will be Irish dancing and singing and an Irish-themed dinner menu. 9 p.m., $5, O'Blarney's, 4411, Martin Way, Olympia, 360.459.8084

OK, time to add to the list. What's missing?

Heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard Chicago and REO Speedwagon will perform at the Washington State Fair Sept. 9, 2014.

The Chicago and REO Speedwagon concert is part of the Washington State Fair's 2014 Concert Series, Presented by Columbia Bank. Tickets are $80 - Golden Circle, $50, and $40 with reserved seating, and include Fair gate admission. Tickets will start selling on Saturday, March 8 at 10 a.m. on the Fair website, http://bit.ly/1bQ9Z41 or by phone (888) 559-FAIR (3247) daily, 7 a.m. - 8 p.m. PST. Tickets can also be purchased in person at the Washington State Fair's Box Office at 9^th Ave SW and Meridian Street on Saturdays, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m., and a $1 per ticket service fee will be charged for on-site purchases.

THURSDAY, FEB. 27 2014 >>>

1. What does your mind go to when you hear the names Miss Massive Snowflake and Rainstick Cowbell (two bands currently nearing the end of month-long west coast tour)? If you were picturing a pair of twee indie bands or cutesy folk-rock, you'd be wrong. Miss Massive Snowflake and Rainstick Cowbell are Shane de Leon and Scott Arbogast, respectively - two fiercely idiosyncratic Portland performers that manage to find common ground together. Read Rev. Adam McKinney's full feature on Miss Massive Snowflake and Rainstick Cowbell in the Music & Culture section, then check out with Dionvox at 10 p.m. in Le Voyeur.

2. Well holy crap. Honestly, we see an event title like "Sewing & Stitchery EXPO" and our eyes instantly glaze over. Sounds like about 11 old ladies in a double wide crocheting death certificates, right? Wrong. Completely false. As it turns out, the Sewing & Stitchery EXPO overtaking the Washington State Fairgrounds through Sunday is freaking gigantic - "the nation's largest event for sewing enthusiasts," according to hype. Apparently, "The Expo is the foremost venue for the home sewing industry attracting leading authorities including Susan Beck, Michelle Muska, Lisa Shaw, and Pati Palmer." Do we have any clue who those people are? Of course not. But they sound important. And we're not in the home sewing industry. Maybe, just maybe, after this weekend we will be. It runs 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. today.

3. The city of Olympia and The Washington Center for the Performing Arts will celebrate the new renovations at The Washington Center beginning at 5 p.m.  The celebration is open to the public. Featured entertainment includes Ballet Northwest, Masterworks Choral Ensemble, Student Orchestra of Greater Olympia and Ed Echtle, Historian, which begins at 6 p.m. if the whole program isn't funny enough for you, stick around for the Center's popular Comedy in the Box show at 7:30 p.m.

4. The folks at Valhalla Coffee Co in Tacoma take their roasted bean biz seriously and prove it by hosting #TNTNW - aka Thursday Night Throwdown Northwest - showcasing local barista talents making latte art from 7-9 p.m. The $5-buy-in-winner-takes-all event is open to the public. Festivities include beer, pizza, prizes and like-minded individuals for those who appreciate the fine art of coffee.

5. South Puget Sound Community College's production of Playboy of the Western World isn't about Hugh Hefner's life. Turns out this Playboy is a satirical look at Catholicism and Irish peasantry, and the "playboy" in question is actually a character named Christy Mahon who, true to the early-20th century meaning of the word, is a trickster or hoaxer. The original 1907 production supposedly caused a riot in Dublin when it was first performed, but don't expect the same reaction at 8 p.m. in the Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts Black Box Theatre.

BONUS: As we mentioned, Vicci Martinez plays The Swiss tonight.

LINK: Thursday, Feb. 27 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area