BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP OF THE DAY >>>

"Hey Allen C. Mason! You might have been a big deal in this town back in the 1890s, but I'm the mutha elfing Foursquare Holiday Mayor of the Allen C. Mason Plaza now!" screamed Bandito Betty Lou Who – our very happy friend who leaps for us on Spew. "By the way, the real "Star of Destiny" of Tacoma is ... THIS!"

Read more...

FRIDAY, DEC. 17, 2010 >>>

1. Oly's The Hard Way will celebrate the release of the band's new record, Tell Me When You Can't Breathe, tonight at McCoy's Tavern. The Volcano's Nikki Talotta says it'll be awesome - and we tend to believe her.

2. Handel's Messiah returns to Tacoma via the Tacoma Symphony Orchestra tonight inside the Pantages Theater. With guests like conductor Geoffrey Boers, soprano Denise Lees and the entire Tacoma Symphony Chorus (among others), this seasonal favorite seems sure to hit the mark. A "new slate of soloists" is promised ... only upping the excitement factor.

3. Check out Olympia Family Theater's take on Little Women tonight at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. It comes recommended.

4. The Viceroy Art Gallery hosts a Rad Santa Party beginning at 8 p.m. featuring live music from The Rotten Wreaths (Dana Turner of Green Apple Quick Step, 3DS&M and John Sackett of The Stinky Pinkys) and music by DJ Johnny Falcon.

5. We don't make this stuff up - we just report it. Here's what they're saying about the Bikini Model Show Tryouts tonight at Gruv Lounge in Tacoma: "What Happens Under the Mistletoe, Stays Under the Mistletoe"! Models wearing glittery bikini's, Showcase Bikini line by Private Designer, with Dj Omar Mashups, photographers and videographers. To be added to the list, Text names to (253) 241-3229."

LINK: Movies open today

LINK: Concert go on sale today

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LIVE MUSIC SHOW TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. Wide Eye Panic, Witchburn, Deathbed Confessions, The Willow Collective. 21+. 9 pm.

C.I. Shenanigan's Tacoma - Northend. Collaborative Works Jazz Trio. 21+. 8 pm. NC.

Capitol Theater Olympia - Downtown. Rock The Holidays Benefit, with Gebular, Jellyneck. Proceeds benefit BHHS "Schools For Schools" Club. All Ages. 8:30 pm. $7.

Doyle's Public House Tacoma - Stadium District. St. Practice Day, with Ockham's Razor. 21+. 9 pm. NC.

Eagles Club Room FOE 21 Olympia - Downtown. Saul Tannenbaum's "Claus for Celebration" featuring the Jingle Belles with special guest Mona von Horne. 8 pm. $10.

• In Olympia, the name Saul P. Tannenbaum is synonymous with holiday cheer ... or at the very least that's the way it's going. After momentous success last year, the bearded and blatant Tannenbaum is back with Claus For Celebration, a yuletide fun-ride full of "ho-ho-holiday cheer." With special guests like Dottie, the Jingle Belles, and at least a few references to Saul's insufferable sister-in-law Esther, this is one show that proves Christmas doesn't have to be boring as all get out. As Saul says, Claus for Celebration is an, "extravagaaaaaaanza." Don't miss out. – Michael Swan
  

Harbor Greens/Forza Wine Bar Gig Harbor. The Shy Boys Christmas Concert. 21+. 7 pm. NC.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. The Ellis Armor, Monsters Scare You, Pink Bead Federation, Crowd War, Life Long War. 21+. 8 pm. NC.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Holiday Show, featuring Maia Santell & House Blend. All Ages. 7 pm. $8.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Blackbird Pie. All Ages. 7 pm. NC. J Minus. All Ages. 8:30 pm. NC.

McCoy's Tavern Olympia - Downtown. The Hard Way, Glass Elevator, The Mona Reels. 21+. 9 pm. $3.

• The Hard Way's new album, Tell Me When You Can't Breathe, has beautiful artwork on the cover. A fluffy, yet hearty-looking dog rides on the bow of a sailboat, eager and attentive. The sailboat dog is brave as a giant wave looms ahead and black clouds sit heavy in the sky, cushioning the backlash of an angry lightning bolt. But as much danger as the scenario presents, there is a child-like calm that prevails. I have not heard the new album, but I do have intuition. And something tells me that all those descriptive words could be used interchangeably with the music the Hard Way so deftly crafts. See for yourself at their CD release party, tonight at McCoy's. - Nikki Talotta

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. Basemint, The Shivas, My Friend Wallace. 21+. 9 pm.

• The Shivas (Portland, Ore.) and My Friend Wallis Vancouver, B.C.) are two bands that are evocative of a time in music that is gone forever, but is still persistently resurrected and updated for new audiences. At The New Frontier, My Friend Wallis and the Shivas will share a bill and be joined by local surf-rock favorites Basemint. It will be a travelogue of approaches to the water mark that the '60s left on music. It's as if the music of the '60s was a massive earthquake, and the Shivas and My Friend Wallis are just some of the tremors that we still feel to this day. Read my full preview here. – Rev. Adam McKinney
  

O'Malley's Irish Pub Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Rafael Tranquilino Band. 21+. 9:30 pm.

Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art Olympia - Downtown. Pandit Debi Prasad Chatterjee. All Ages. 8 pm. $10-$15.

Viceroy Art Gallery Tacoma - Downtown. Rad Santa Party. Features live music from The Rotten Wreaths (Dana Turner of Green Apple Quick Step, 3DS&M and John Sackett of The Stinky Pinkys) and music by DJ Johnny Falcon. 21+. 8 pm. Donations to DJ.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

DALE CHIHULY IS BIGGER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE ... ALREADY >>>

Enough with the glass art already. Tacoma is saturated with glass art - predominantly Dale Chihuly glass art. Now don't get me wrong, I harbor a certain amount of admiration for Chihuly and his many protégés. But enough's enough already. And now Seattle wants to build a monument to this homegrown glass-art icon at the Seattle Center. Surely they can find something better to replace the ancient and outmoded Fun Forest.

I'm not concerned with how much money it's likely to bring in or whether or not it will compete with Tacoma's Museum of Glass. That's a concern for the developers and politicians. I'm just interested in the art, and as far as that goes ... well, I said it already: enough's enough.

I remember years ago the director of the old Commencement Art Gallery had a sign on his office wall that said: "Chihulyism, the art of self-promotion." Admittedly there was a bit of sour grapes there coming from an artist and art promoter who probably resented that so many worthy artists can get no recognition at all while Chihuly - an inventive, ambitious and talented artist, but certainly not in the league with a Picasso or de Kooning, or even as good as many a lesser known glass artist - is treated like a god. That's an attitude I can empathize with.

It's not just that I'm put off by his relentless self-promotion. That's pretty much the only way any artist can gain recognition. It's not just that he makes very little of his own art but rather directs a crew of busy artisans in his studio. Lot's of artists from the Renaissance greats to Andy Warhol have done that. It's not even that his art is endlessly repetitious and that there are thousands of knock-offs. It's just that I'm sickened by the thought of a whole big public building and a huge section of a Seattle landmark being dedicated to a single individual who is worthy of some attention but surely not that much. And BTW, preliminary drawings look like a big orange greenhouse.

Rosemary Ponnekanti writing in The News Tribune reported that MOG staff said the exhibit could be beneficial for the museum if it draws a bigger audience to glass art. The Trib article quoted MOG spokesperson Julie Pisto: "We don't know how it will impact the Museum of Glass, but obviously the Chihuly name is huge. I'm sure it will be very popular. We're looking at it as an opportunity for collaboration in the future. If more people become exposed to and intrigued by (glass), maybe they'll visit here."

It might be noted that Museum of Glass was originally conceived of by Chihuly and was going to be called the Chihuly Museum of Glass. Now it focuses on worldwide glass art. Maybe the great god of glass realized having his name associated with a museum that way would appear as conceited as Oprah putting her face on every single issue of her own magazine. It seems that even the king of self-promotion realizes there must be some limits.

While it is true that the proposed Chihuly feature at the Seattle Center will probably bring a lot of tourism dollars to Seattle, and there may even be some trickle-down for Tacoma, surely Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn and others could come up with something else that would serve the same purpose. And what if Mr. Chihuly's art falls out of favor as often happens with popular artists? In that case it will end up being as decayed and unused as the Fun Forest it is supposed to replace. The glass walls will all the broken and grass and weeds will sprout up.

Hey now, that might make for interesting public art.

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Today: Partly sunny, cold, hi 46, lo35

Saturday: Chance of rain, hi 42, lo 35

Sunday: Chance of more rain, hi 43, lo 38

>>> FRIDAY, DEC. 17: HANDEL'S MESSIAH

Celebrate the coming of the Anointed One. No, not Bobble Tiki. We're talking about Handel's Messiah, returning to Tacoma via the Tacoma Symphony Orchestra Friday. With guests like conductor Geoffrey Boers, soprano Denise Lees and the entire Tacoma Symphony Chorus (among others), this seasonal favorite seems sure to hit the mark. A "new slate of soloists" is promised ... only upping the excitement factor.

• St. Charles Borromeo Church, 7:30 p.m., $25, 7112 S. 12th St., Tacoma, 253.564.5185

>>> SATURDAY, DEC. 18: RETRO SKATE NIGHT

Go old school in Puyallup Saturday at another Retro Skate Night at Tiffany's Skate Inn. Retro is all the rage these days, from Atari to tube socks, and Retro Skate Nights at Tiffany's - featuring tunes from the '70s, '80s and '90s - are probably better than both of those things. Get funky from 7:30 - 10:30 p.m.

• Tiffany's Skate Inn, 7:30 - 10:30 p.m., $7, 113 N Meridian, Puyallup, 253.848.1153
  

>>> SUNDAY, DEC. 19: ANNIVERSARY AT THE BROTHERHOOD IN OLY

Boom! It's the coolest bar in town (in a town filled with cool bars), and it's celebrating a birthday this Sunday. Party in style with Western Hymn, Morgan and The Organ Donors. As a way of saying thanks, this will be a free one -- but you've come to expect such things from the Broho and owner Pit Kwiecinski

• The Brotherhood, 9 p.m., free, 119 Capitol Way North, Olympia, 360.352.4153
  

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

STEPH DEROSA Features Writer
My house looks like a huge piece of dinosaur shit, so there's a small possibility  I will give my poor, neglected family an early Christmas treat by picking up all my dirty underwear off the bathroom floor by Friday night.  Saturday will be a day of who the hell knows what.  It could consist of any number of things including (but not limited to) making cookies, laying in a hot tub, watching The Jerk for the 745th time, peeling an orange and leaving the skin out to dry because I'm too lazy to throw it away, and/or making a "to do" list that will inevitably take me two months to complete.  Sunday I work at 99 Bottles, and afterward I will be heading out to my other mom's house (Chiara Wood) for a much needed solstice celebration with my PIC Kate.

So, to summarize my weekend will include: race, pedagogy, beef, cheese and bacon.

RON SWARNER Publisher
Every year at this time I promise to act more like the Ebbey Scrooge after the graveyard scene — you know, dancing around in a nightshirt making merry, in keeping with the situation. So, I’ll give that a shot this weekend. I also plan on hitting the mountain with my board, heading to Zoolights, and busting out the Yamaha YRS-20BG Soprano Recorder at the annual family Winter Solstice celebration.

REV. ADAM MCKINNERY Features Writer
Friday, I'm off once again to the New Frontier to catch the Basemint, Shivas, and My Friend Wallis show. I have high hopes for this one, guys! Should be a fun time. Saturday, my mom is hosting an office Christmas party at her house. Thinking of checking that out. Drunk work friends! Fun!

JOE IZENMAN Music/Theater Critic
Beer. Party. Rock show. Dungeons & Dragons. Or, more specifically: impromptu Dogfish Head brewer's night at the Parkway on Thursday; chilling with the best jazz pianist to come out of PLU Friday; playing with the Deborah Page Extended Edition Band at the Stonegate Saturday; D&D with various local businessmen and luminaries Sunday. Probably other stuff, too, but you can't expect me to remember much more.

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
My friend rented a cabin right outside of Mt. Hood, Oregon. Snowboarding, beers and possible broken body parts for Friday night and Saturday. Saturday night I'll drag my tired butt back up to Olympia to spend a night on the town with my recently back-from-college little brother. Finally, I know it's not the weekend, but: Monday night Rockaroake at Jazzbones.  

JENNIFER JOHNSON: Lifestyle/Leisure Writer
I'm moving in a new roommate, wishing the Frenchman a happy birthday at the Java Jive and then going to dinner and a dance Friday. Doing yoga Saturday morning followed by absolutely nothing while maxing and relaxing on the couch with the heat on high that evening. Sunday after church I'll attend a beloved friend's annual Solstice Party and then go to bed early in preparation for getting my ever-shrinking you-know-what handed to me at 5 a.m. boot camp at Elev8 Fitness on Monday.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
Friday night has something planned but I'm so sleep deprived  I have no idea what it is. Saturday is dedicated to all things Christmas. I'm playing music at Urban Grace on Sunday and enjoying the finest decaf, non-dairy latte that Satellite has to offer. Sunday afternoon will most likely involve wishing for a nap but entertaining a wide-awake 4 month old instead. You know you want my life.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
I will be in Vegas with my girlfriend, doing indefensible things of a tawdry and debaucherous nature in the vicinity of buffets.  Or, if her parents are reading this, ministering to the spiritually needy.

MATT DRISCOLL  Editor (the guy to blame)
There's still holiday shopping to do, so the wife and I will no doubt be tackling some of it Saturday. I also need a haircut, meaning a trip to Jay's Hair Den on Sixth Avenue in Tacoma is likely in my future. (That's right, when I need a haircut I go to a goddamn Hair Den!) Sunday will either be a great day or one of the crappiest in a while - and I'll know which way it's going to go early. I'm talking fantasy football playoffs here, it all comes down to this -- and seven of my nine players are involved in morning games. If things go awry, it could be a long day for my family ...

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
 Going to see the new show at Mineral and Harlequin Productions' A Stardust Christmas Carol.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

PUNJABI JINGLE BELLS>>>

Despite beng racist and a little creepy, I can't stop watching this video which, by the way, was produced by Nickelodeon.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Oh yeah! That's what I'm talking ‘bout! It's Friday, beer-thirty, or vodka-and-cran-thirty, or bong-hit-thirty, or whip-it-thirty, and the weekend is all but upon us. Five days of toil under the scrutinizing eye of your socially-inept boss has led to this - two days of freedom, better known as the weekend. You better get your money's worth ...

With that in mind, here's yet another installment of The Prefunk - a weekend primer designed for you and your liver (with a picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure).

The Brotherhood's Anniversary

Sunday, Dec. 19

Everyone likes a good anniversary or birthday party. When you're young, birthday parties are all about the crappy pizza and sheet cake. When you get older, it's all about the booze - birthdays, anniversaries, Wednesday nights, all of it...

Sometimes the stars just align. Sometimes a bar celebrates an anniversary- hard as that may be to believe - and you get the rare occasion where the celebratory drinking brought on by an anniversary party is exponentially amplified because the benefactor of said anniversary is a place synonymous with celebratory drinking.

Catch my drift? Anniversary parties FOR bars AT bars = awesome.

Sunday night Olympia's Brotherhood will celebrate an anniversary party not to miss - the highlight of which will be a free show with Western Hymn, Morgan and the Organ Donors. Naturally, it's free - because, as much as anything, it's a small "thank you" from the Broho family to the long time patrons, supporters, shuffle board players and smoking patio philosophy majors that - as much as anything - make the Brotherhood the Oly institution it is.

PREFUNK: Watch this, let it put you in the mood to party, then go forth and celebrate another year of the Broho! There's much to be thankful for.

BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP OF THE DAY >>>

"Step aside Sonja Silver! I'm the mutha elfing Foursquare Holiday Mayor of your Sonja Clothes To Live In store now!" screamed Bandito Betty Lou Who – our very happy friend who leaps for us on Spew. "The ample play of my cotton jumpsuit is perfect for sudden movement, and the rubber soles of my Chucks grip surfaces well, whether I'm darting past your Gritty Tacoman T-shirts or taking over your shop with moves like ... THIS!"

Read more...

WE RECOMMEND THESE LIVE SHOWS TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. Audacity. 21+. 9 pm.

C.I. Shenanigan's Tacoma - Northend. Collaborative Works Jazz Trio. 21+. 8 pm. NC.

Cork! A Wine Bar Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Drew Pine & Peter Schilling. 21+. 8 pm.

D4 Sumner. Autumn Awakening, Athena (ep release), legendhasit, Hands of Gabriel, Buried On The Shore, and Mr. Death Hoax. Local metal bands. All Ages. 6:30 pm. $8-$10.

Doyle's Public House Tacoma - Stadium District. Missionary Position. 21+. 9 pm. NC.

Harbor Greens/Forza Wine Bar Gig Harbor. The Shy Boys Christmas Concert. 21+. 7 pm. NC.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Dirty Hollywood (Motley Crue tribute), The Pete Moss Band, Bone Flower, Keg. 21+. 9 pm. $5.

• Oh, folks. Are you ready for something absolutely ridiculous? You may look no further than KEG. I can't do his act justice by merely describing it - he is a one-man hair metal band. Sure, it sounds kind of funny, but to watch it is a thing of eye-rubbing, snort-inducing beauty. It may be possible to effectively replicate the sound of an entire hair metal band through the use of a looping pedal, much like the kind that KEG utilizes, but that's not KEG's M.O. He wants to replicate the feeling of a hair metal group, and in that case musicianship comes in a far second behind balls-to-the-wall theatrics. He breathlessly pulls out every trick in the hair metal playbook: high kicks, spitting water, gesturing with his crotch, etc. KEG is a tornado of absurdity. - Rev. Adam McKinney

The Hub Tacoma - Stadium District. Eric Miller Trio. 21+. 9 pm. NC.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. The Paperboys. 21+. 8 pm. $13-$15.

Le Voyeur Café and Lounge Olympia - Downtown. Hot Rush, The Rainiers. 21+. 9 pm.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. Nightgowns, Tall Girl. 21+. 9 pm.

The Peabody Waldorf Tacoma. Apricot & the Beginners, Check Please, Trevor Dickson, Nickelson Nicklesby. All Ages. 7 pm. $3.

• Part of the appeal of Apricot & the Beginners' gentle indie lies in the way their impeccable instrumental arrangements interact with huskily delivered, domestically minded - and sometimes silly - lyrics ("BLTs at 2 AM / Nothin' better than preemptive hangover medicine"). There's an undeniable winsomeness in the raw sound of their recordings, which juxtapose banjos with xylophones, synthesizers, acoustic guitar and faint or uncomplicated percussion (if any at all).  More fully realized tracks like "Darling" (not to be confused with Baltimore dream-pop duo Beach House's "D.A.R.L.I.N.G.") demonstrate a savvy understanding of how a single, well-conceived melody can carry an entire song if properly fleshed-out and matched with heart-on-sleeve, down-to-earth lyrics. The inclusion of background chatter and between-song ad-libs makes their songs feel that much more intimate, like a window in on the warmest winter sweater party ever. - Jason Baxter

Rocket Records Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Rooftop Warrior, Broken Twigs, Midnight Bears, Bucky Virginia, 3-6 p.m. NC.

• Kids these days are way cooler than you ever were. Trust us. Or don't - just check out Rooftop Warrior, set to play a free all-ages show Saturday at Rocket Records. This one should be a fine snapshot into the lives of Tacoma's youth, as well as a prime chance to catch some searing new tunes from a band with a sound wise beyond its years that meshes varied influences into a modern mélange of new fangled yet reverent rock swagger. – Michael Swan
  

Rock the Dock Pub & Grill Tacoma - Downtown. The Trevalyan Triangle. 21+. 9 pm.

The Spar Tacoma - Old Town. Hi-Fi Reset. 21+. 8 pm.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. Voxxy Vallejo, Deborah Page. 21+. 9 pm. $5.

• On Tacoma singer and songwriter Deborah Page's impressive website, after clicking on a fire-engulfed guitar, you're taken to a page where quotes from reviewers scroll across the top of the screen. Naturally, the chosen quotes are positive, all (rightfully) coloring Page and the five-piece band that bares her name as a truly unique South Sound act on the up-and-coming list - a ‘90s-bred yet contemporary take on the rock we all grew up on. Well ... except for one. Amidst all the well-earned praise from local journalists of every ilk, there's a quote in there that is typical of the juvenile and somewhat low-brow author given credit for it. "Deborah Page is hot," it says - credited to yours truly. Well, you know what? I stand by that statement. It's not the smartest thing I've ever written, and surely not the most insightful, but facts are facts and I won't back down from my previous assertion - even if there's probably a strong possibility I was high when I wrote it. Not because it's not true, mind you - because it is - rather, I'm just high much of the time ... and so I craft website-ready quotes like, "Deborah Page is hot." Look at me, mom! - Matt Driscoll

Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art Olympia - Downtown. Bryan Bowers. All Ages. 8 pm. $8-$12.

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

SATURDAY, DEC. 18 >>>

1. There's a sweet all-ages show today at Rocket Records on Tacoma's Sixth Ave featuring Rooftop Warrior. As long as you dig rock, this should be one all ages can enjoy.

2. Check out the Click! family flick this morning at the Grand Cinema in Tacoma - a free screening of A Christmas Story. Will Ralphie shoot his eye out this year? Find out in style, not just sitting on your couch watching TBS.

3. The Nightgowns play tonight at the New Frontier. Anyone paying attention knows this will be awesome.

4. Like bikes? Like booze? Check out this hot piece of action - the Troll Crank Holly Jolly Bicycle Booze Cruise.

5. Spend time checking out photos from the Third Thursday Art Bus - which was in full effect this week. Pay special attention to Buddy the elf. He looks much like Volcano publisher Ron Swarner, no? Surely just a coincidence ...