YOU'RE TOO KIND >>>

If there's one thing you're taught in journalism school, it's that "list" stories always do well. Or, at least that's what we've been told -- having never attended journalism school.

It should come as no surprise then that the great minds at GQ magazine have compiled a ranking of the "50 Worst States in America" -- charting Washington at number 36. Better than Utah, but slightly shittier than Iowa, GQ's take should be enough to make all Washingtonians proud. Hell, at least we're not Arizona.

Check the full list here.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO >>>

This week's Volcano will include a story featuring Gazmo the Gr8 about how local emcees are using mixtapes and the Internet to increase their buzz.

Here's a look at a new promo video from Gazmo off his most recent mixtape, Ibeast. Gaz is rapping over Clipse's "Popular Demand (Popeyes)" instrumental.

AND OTHER DESCRIPTIONS OF WILLIAM N. COPLEY'S WORK >>>

While reading an article in the New York Times online a little sidebar caught my eye. It was a cartoon-like painting of a woman's face with a saucy expression. She was wearing a snazzy, red and green tartan cap. The caption was "Renegade Painters." Naturally, I couldn't resist clicking on the link. It took me to a slide show featuring art from two different exhibitions: William N. Copley's X-Rated paintings from 1973-74 at the Paul Kasmin Gallery in Chelsea, and a 50-year survey of Peter Saul at Haunch of Venison in midtown Manhattan.

I've been a Peter Saul fan for a long time. I'd have a hard time justifying my enjoyment of his paintings by any established aesthetic criteria. I just like them. They're strange, funny and very colorful. Copley, on the other hand, evokes contradictory responses.

I've never heard of William N. Copley. That's the trouble with being an art lover far from any major art center. You miss out on too much. But that's a lousy excuse. I was living in New York in the late ‘70s and somehow missed out on him. His paintings are fascinating in many ways, especially when comparing those in the Times slide show with the ones pictured on the Kasmin Gallery Website. I loved some of the ones in the Times slide show but was not at all impressed with the Kasmin pictures. Ironically, the difference is due to the fact that the Times censored his paintings. It's a family newspaper. They can't show things like graphic sex and big bushy vaginas. And as much as I dislike censorship, it actually improved the paintings in this case. The painting of the woman with the tartan cap was actually a cropped section of a much larger painting of a harlot splayed open-legged on a couch and wearing nothing but the cap and matching socks. The pose was a knockoff of an odalisque by Matisse. But the Times used an installation shot taken in the gallery when a man happened to be standing in front of the painting blocking her breasts and crotch. Frankly, if the guy hadn't been standing there I would have probably been so mesmerized by the sex parts that I wouldn't have noticed her expression and the lively contrasts of patterns in her hat and socks, and the plaid couch and pillow and wallpaper.

Times critic Roberta Smith wrote glowingly of "the rigorous balancing of the erotic and the decorative." Another painting that used this balance to great effect was Rain, another naked woman, this one sitting on a caned chair with marvelous contrasting patterns of hair, fishnet stockings, chair caning and red and blue striped wallpaper. It reminded me a lot of recent Phillip Pearlstein paintings, only more comical and sexual.

The paintings shown on the Kasmin website are not censored, and at the risk of sounding prudish, they are pretty gross and crude. They're like some 12-year-old boy's idea of dirty pictures. They make sex anything but attractive, and the images all depict a decidedly male point of view.

Come to think of it, I liked only two of the Copley paintings, and I think Pearlstein is better than either of these guys.

The Weekly Volcano follows Tweeting celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Special Lady Gaga in Tacoma Edition!

Aug. 21: Lady Gaga in the 253

"An inaugural message (sent while changing backstage at The Monster Ball in Tacoma) from Tween Gaga"

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

The Weekly Volcano follows Tweeting celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Terrell Owens!

Aug. 18: Terrell Owens is no Dick Butkus

"just got a mani/pedi @ Ambiance. Hands & feet r feeling nice after 2 weeks of training camp!!!" web

Aug. 16: Terrell Owens wants people to be perfectly clear

"Ok tweeples! Regarding the kiss cam @ tennis tourney, tht girl next 2 me is my "assistant!" Lol" via MogoTXT

Aug. 12: Terrell Owens knows quality dining

"Just had a gr8 workout! Now headed 2 Cracker Barrel 4 brkfast." MogoTXT

Aug. 12: Terrell Owens definitely has a man's appetite

"My brkfast: 8 eggwhites scrambled, turkey sausage, bowl of oatmeal w/bananas & OJ/water!! Gotta feed the mach" via MogoTXT

Aug; 12: Fifteen minutes later...

"Alllll gone!!"

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

The Weekly Volcano follows Tweeting celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Bette Midler!

Today: Bette Midler hands out a compliment... we think.

"I love Boston. It's so common." via web

Aug. 10: Bette Midler talks stardom

"It didn't used to be like this. Years ago, stars had glamour... and pubic hair." via web

Aug. 13: Bette Midler talks stardom, some more

"You know, the sun is just another middle-aged star." via web

Aug. 16: OK, there's definitely a trend here...

"I worry about old stars. Where do they go now that "Murder, She Wrote" is off the air?" via web

July 30: Bette Midler is the Brett Favre of showgirls... we don't mean a waffler, just resilent and tough

"Perfect attendance!" via Twitpic

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BONUS BETTE MIDLER WITH A FREAKY CAT PIC!

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Rivers Cuomo!

Aug 14: Rivers Cuomo is getting big

"Almost completely lost my voice so had 2 take steroids this morning. Might be xtra aggro tonight so watch out." via UberTwitter

July 17: Rivers Cuomo thinks about the big questions in life

"If you shave your dog, do you have to put sunscreen on it?" via UberTwitter

July 15: This probably has something to do with the steroids

"Did some sick bare-tummy bumping with some sweaty dudes tonight!" via UberTwitter

July 3: Rivers Cuomo keeps it real

"Got a hundred dollar check from my grandparents for my birthday." via UberTwitter

June 28: This has been obvious for a while

"Ravers Cuomo." via UberTwitter

June 5: Rivers Cuomo has everyday problems

"I hate it when my nipples get erect." via UberTwitter

May 14: Rivers Cuomo makes endorsements you can trust

"I would recommend the Colace brand to anyone looking for a good stool softener." via UberTwitter

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BONUS RIVERS CUOMO PIC!

The Weekly Volcano follows MASSIVE celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Lady Gaga!

Aug. 10: Lady Gaga is big with the teens.

"Just emerged from studio bender to hear we won two teen choice awards. Thank you for believing in me little monsters! I'm your hooker. X" via web

July 29: Coincidentally, Weekly Volcano editor Matt Driscoll is wearing the same exact outfit today, and he also smells like tequila.

"Days off in the AZ Desert: Cactus fashion + Tequila. Can't make me take off my leather, I would rather faint" via Twitpic

July 24: Awesome.

"In my former dressing room of my old Dallas gay stomping grounds. They supported me first. SO RAD COWBOYS." via Openbeak

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

BONUS LADY GAGA PIC!

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Paris Hilton!

Earlier today: When Paris Hilton hangs with her aunt, it's much hotter and Twitter-worthy than when you hang with your aunt.

"At My Favorite Club in LA @DraisHollywood with My Beautiful Aunt @KyleRichards18 and @hurricancar" via Twitpic

Aug. 11: You can tell a dog is happy when its eyes are almost popping out

"Chilling at @DraisHollywood Pool with Harajuku." via Twitpic

Aug. 10: Mr. Miyagi would have never signed off on this

"Couture Karate Kid in Hot Pink Louboutins ;)" via Twitpic

Aug. 8: Paris Hilton's other piece of advice had to do with sex tape production

"A little piece of advice..."

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

BONUS PICTURE OF PARIS HILTON SURROUNDED BY TORMENTED CREATURES!

The Weekly Volcano follows B & C-list celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Ellen Degeneres

Aug. 5: Ellen Degeneres divulges the truth of TV, and perhaps life.

"I’ve learned 2 things about TV. It’s always easier with vodka & some of the best singers are from the Philippines." via web

July 31: The photo taken moments before Ellen Degeneres got mauled by a pack of racoons and contracted rabies.

"Hanging out with the newest additions to our family at the farm." via web

July 26: Ellen Degeneres sticks up for cheerleading

"A federal judge ruled that cheerleading isn't a sport, but I disagree. Can you do a basket toss double down off a pyramid? Didn't think so." via web

July 5: Ellen Degeneres sticks up for Dennis Quaid

"One newspaper reported that Dennis Quaid locked a little girl in his trunk. They were wrong. It was my writer. And his name is Jason." via web

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano