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Not even kidding here, folks. Today is National Hairball Awareness Day. Did you know that it's not just cats that get hairballs? Your pet goat also gets them. So do kids who complusively eat hair. Bezoars, as they were called, used to be cherished, and would be set with jewelry. They can also be made of nondigestible food, like celery (celery?!?) or gum (don't swallow gum!).

Today in queer wildlife news

Emerson died on this day in 1882. 

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico continues to grow and expand.

Dude robs a Nebraska convenience store with his head wrapped in toilet paper.

Daily Star Pulled From Airports Over Volcano Ash Splash

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Stephen Hawking urges us to avoid aliens.

National Public Radio Music has your back. You can listen to three albums free before they're released onTuesday, May 4: The New Pornographers Together, Kris Kristofferson Please Don't Tell Me How the Story Ends: The Publishing Demos 1968-72, and Josh Ritter So Runs the World Away.

Democratic Senators will push a financial reform vote today that will limit greedy Wall Street firms.

Spock has a new hand signal.

Sixty-one tornadoes hit the South this weekend.

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Jayne Mansfield's birthday. She would be 76.

Comcast is going to start the RightNetwork.

Greil Marcus on Van Morrison: When That Rough God Goes Riding 

Ash continues to spew from the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano.

Kitteh Roulette

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In Switzerland, people can hire horrifying clowns to stalk their children as a birthday present.

The Library of Congress will archive all of Twitter for future generations. People of the future are going to think we were idiots.

Inmates scam Uncle Sam by filing returns for fake jobs.

Mother Russia doesn't play that. The country formally suspended all American adoptions of Russian children today after a 7-year-old adopted Russian boy was sent back to Moscow alone when the Tennessee mother thought he wasn't well-adjusted.

All these earthquakes are just a coincidence.

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Danger Bomb Alarm Clock

Tea Party activists plan tax day protests in Olympia, Seattle

Strong earthquake strikes western China.

Should UFO phenomena be taught in universities?

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Tulane University-led study found that kids who were spanked are twice as likely to become a bully.

President Obama will host a historic two-day, 47-nation summit regarding keeping nuclear materials away from terrorists.

A UFO was photographed in Tennessee.

Could Hillary Clinton bcome a Supreme Court Justice?

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Courtney Love has issued a heartfelt apology online to Billy Corgan.

The health care vote is coming. Details of the final bill.

Punk hacker, meet punk'd hack: discuss.

Don't call 911 to get 411 on a bartender.

Scientists show off real invisibility cloak.

Producer sues Lady Gaga.

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Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden?

Today in 1999 the U.S. Department of the Interior listed nine salmon species as endangered, which impacted many people in the Northwest.

Don't feed those babies just to shut them up. A Penn State prof says the practice may increase the likelihood of your youngster becoming overweight or obese later in life.

Fearless Felix is back for his most daring plunge ever.

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There's a new movie about rockin' '70s teen girl group, The Runaways called The Runaways.

Cellphone app Foursquare, which allows users to broadcast their location and let their friends (or creepy perverts) track their location, attracts at least 1.6 million check-ins per week.

The Weekly Volcano's Music Issue 2010 is now online.

MIT nerds discover new, nano energy source.

Will the national broadband plan come up short?

The battle over internet access.

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Nerd Alert! Whatever happened to the cast of Revenge of the Nerds?

RIP: Cory Haim

Rosemary Ponnekanti reports that MLKBallet founding director Kate Monthy will move after MOVE! #16.

The Weekly Volcano's jetpacks are ready.

X Sigma Partners LLC introduced a new iPhone app 'Tiger Text," inspired by the Tiger Woods scandal, which allows users to permanently delete texts that have already been sent.

Fuhgeddaboudit being mayor. Mayor Pringle of Belmar, N.J., announces that he will not run for re-election this November after 20 years of office, after he made fun of Jersey Shore guidos in his blog.

Bank of America is ending overdraft fees on debit cards. Really?

Seriously? Halpert from The Office is playing Captain America?