WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Tomorrow Morning: The commute will suck. (News Tribune)

Tacoma Vs. Kidnappers: The Tacoma Police will have a special team and a special plan. (News Tribune)

Something To Think About On This Rainy Morning: A report says Pierce County river levees and flood control structures are not good. (News Tribune)

Putin, Um, Wins?: Foul play reported as Vladimir Putin looks set to return to the Russian presidency four years after he was forced out by term limits. (CNN)

Super Tuesday: Looks as if the Republican Party will rally around Mitt Romney. (The New York Times)

Syria: Syrians fleeing Homs accuse security forces of committing atrocities, including summary executions. (BBC)

What Would Great-Grandma Eat?: White Bread: A Social History of the Store-Bought Loaf. (The Chronicle)

Playing With Infinity of Rikers Island: Math reduces pretty things like the moon to ugly things like orbital periods. Yet a concise equation can reveal the magic of pure thought. (Prospect)

Ballboy's Worst Nightmare: A gallery filled with bouncing tennis balls. (Flavorwire)

Game Of Thrones Vs. The Simpsons: An awesome opening parody. (Laughing Squid)

Lindsay Lohan on SNL: What the critics are saying. (Hollywood Reporter)

And Finally: Pop culture icons who are also occasional nudists. (Flavorwire)

SATURDAY, MARCH 3, 2012 >>>

1. The tiny Telephone Room Gallery will host 6-9 p.m. opening reception for Julie Alpert's Zigzags, Stripes, and Shadows, an art exhibit showing, according to Alpert, "Stream of consciousness drawings become blueprints for how I respond to the Telephone Room's cramped, charming, and curious architecture. Utilizing the shelves, telephone alcove, cabinet doors, and window, painted lines follow and cascade off the various surfaces transforming the once useful room into a mysterious three-dimensional painting."

2. Fun fact: Before there were expos, people had no idea how to disseminate information about sustainability. It was a bleak time. Luckily, events like today's South Sound Sustainability Expo at the Tacoma Convention and Trade Center have solved this problem, bringing "green" to the masses. According to hype, the South Sound Sustainability Expo is "intended to provide residents and business owners in the greater Tacoma metropolitan area a place to discover services, products, companies, and agencies in our region that address sustainability needs in our community." As part of that goal, instruction and information on everything from urban chicken cooping to waste minimization and recycling will be discussed from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

3. Kids these days are no damn good. You hear about it all the time. But at 1:30 p.m. at the Tacoma Nature Center anyone interested can get a look at some of the positive things kids are capable of - like baking-soda volcanoes and paper towel strength test. It's called the Snake Lake Science Fair, and kids from throughout Tacoma - many of them homeschooled - will participate with gusto this weekend, making for an event that's sure to be both enjoyable and enlightening. And it's also free to drop in on.

4. Artist John Miller's five-foot tall Venetian glass sculpture "Cheeseburger Goblet" and smaller "Slider Goblets," currently on display at the Museum of Glass as part of the Gathering: John Miller and Friends exhibition, have inspired Slider Cook-Off "Shake, Rattle & Grill" - an evening of 1950s kitschy fun at the museum, centered around a culinary battle pitting area chefs and their sliders competing for bragging rights, awards and art trophies beginning at 6:30 p.m. "We've given the chefs free rein to bring any recipe they'd like. They definitely all won't be beef cheeseburgers," says event organizer and Museum of Glass Corporate and Donor Relations Manager Mandy Lane of the sliders expected to compete. Read Jennifer Johnson's full feature on the Slider Cook-Off, including recipes and events, in the Restaurant section at weeklyvolcano.com.

5. The Missionary Position, SweetKiss Momma, Hot Bodies In Motion and Ape Machine will perform beginning at 7 p.m. inside Jazzbones.

PLUS: More event recommendations in our Weekend Hustle

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

LINK: South Sound Happy Hours

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Leadership Change: Stewart Middle School Principal Jon Ketler - founder of Tacoma School of the Arts and the Science and Math Institute - forced out due to complaints. (News Tribune)

Camp Murray Gate: The proposed move might cause unsafe conditions for Tillicum residents. (News Tribune)

Narrows Bridge Toll: It's going to cost Tacomans more to go chill on the deck at Tides Tavern. (News Tribune)

Oh Crap: A line of storms stretching from Illinois to Louisiana may cause tornadoes and severe weather in the battered Midwest. (CNN)

Yelp Help: The online hub for local business reviews priced its initial public offering at $15 a share. (The New York Times)

Twister Waves: Researchers describe a completely new way to pack information into radio, TV, and wi-fi signals. (BBC)

Davy Jones: Peter Tork shares memories of his former Monkees bandmate. (USA Today)

The Shins: Grab updates and listen to the band's songs. (Paste Magazine)

Awesome: A 24-hour ATM machine dispenses cupcakes. (Dvice) 

Awesome II: Vintage cats and dogs dressed as people. (BuzzFeed)

Awesome III: Art made from Oero cookies. (1 Design Per Day)

Mad Urbanism: Architect looking for investors and/or victims for his giant see-through maze. (Io9)

Panty Fight: Navajo Nation files a lawsuit against Urban Outfitters over the Navajo Hipster Panty. (Jezebel)

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Snow: It's possible. (News Tribune)

Stamped: Plan to shift Tacoma postal operations is official, cutting 139 jobs. (Bellingham Herald)

School Shootings: Why is U.S. No. 1. (CNN)

Your Phone: Why are they becoming uncontrollable monsters. (CNN)

Presidential Primary: A defeat today for Mitt Romney could send the nominating fight onto an unpredictable path and reset the Republican race. (The New York Times)

Sean Young Back In the News: The weird chick was arrested in post-Oscar fight. (USA Today)

Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah: Here comes the Griswolds and a National Lampoon's Vacation remake. (Den of Geek)

Mad Men: It's oh so close. (Coming Soon)

Drew Barrymore Wine: Her Pinot Grigio is crispy and fresh, so they say. (Huffington Post)

Cook Like Batgirl: Geektastic superhero aprons. (Geeks Are Sexy)

Fake Happy Faces: Giant set of gifs created from Oscar loser reaction shots. (Four Four)

Awesome Chemistry Experiment Of The Day

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Occupying The History Museum: Rick Santorum vs. Occupy Tacoma and glitter. (Slog)

Gay Marriage Bill: It's signed. (News Tribune)

Syria: Residents brace for a full-blown war. (CNN)

China In The United States: The man likely to become China's next leader, Vice-President Xi Jinping, begins a closely watched visit to the United States. (BBC)

Valentine's Day: The lost art of romance. (CNN)

Sure Why Not Of The Day: All 22 Bond film intros, shown simultaneously side by side. (The Daily What)

Hey Mattel!: Shouldn't your Back to the Future hoverboards actually hover? (Slash Film)

Finally!: Scratch-n-Sniff Raspberry Scented Denim Jeans. (Laughing Squid)

I Saw U Eating Those Peanuts: When your airplane seatmate becomes your soul mate. (Time)

We're Outta Here

How to Build a Time Machine - Doc Ignite Campaign Video from Jay Cheel on Vimeo.

HEART DAY, FEB. 14, 2012 >>>

1. Cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket. Cannonballing the fiddlecove with a park steeple. Pulling the station wagon into the old creaky garage. No matter what clever name you have for it, sexual reproduction typically requires the involvement of two individuals or gametes, one each from opposite type of sex - although asexual reproduction, an individual can reproduce without involvement with another individual of that species. Oh, it's so confusing. At 6:30 p.m., University of Puget Sound biology professor Peter Wimberger will step in front of the Tacoma Science Café crowd at The Swiss and discuss the reproductive behavior of sea creatures. No word if Wimberger will show his anemone or flatworm. What?

2. Yes, the Museum of Glass Store is open today from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Yes, the store has all jewelry marked 20 percent off. And yes, you should be panicky if this is an issue for you.

3. According to the press release, Jilly Eddy - appearing at Morso from 6-9 p.m. as part of the wine bar's slew of Valentine's-related specials - is the world's leading expert in lip reading. In fact, Eddy is billed as a Lipsology Expert, which sounds pretty darn official. But we're not talking about deciphering the f-bombs dropped by coaches on the sidelines during the Super Bowl here. Rather, we're talking about reading and interpreting - quite literally - what peoples' lips say about their personalities.

4. Maybe you like your songs of romance to be sacred in nature? Perhaps you prefer them secular? Either way, according to the press release, the Canonici Vocal Quartet will have you covered on Valentines when the group busts out a collection of Renaissance love songs in English, French and Italian as part of the Classical Tuesdays in Old Town performance series, which begins at 7 p.m. inside the Old Town Slavonian Hall. Completely free - meaning you'll have more to spend on ridiculously priced flowers or stale chocolates - the Canonici Vocal Quartet's presentation of Plaisir d' Amour: The Pleasure of Love seems likely to seal at least a few deals this Valentine's Day.

5. Comedian Kermit Apio headlines a Valentine's Day "Clean Comedy Show" at 8 p.m. inside the Tacoma Comedy Club. The show benefits the House Of Matthews.

PLUS: Sweet & Spicy: A Valentine's Day Burlesques at the Pantages Theater

PLUS: Daniel Blue and Kurt Lindsay at Metronome Coffee

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music and DJs tonight

LINK: South Sound happy hours

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Today's Lesson: Bryant Montessori doesn't need any more drama. (News Tribune)

Marijuana Legalization: Pot Initiative 502 won't get fast-tracked by the state Legislature before it sees the ballot this fall. (News Tribune)

Pissing Off Catholics: President Obama will announce a plan as early as today to accommodate religious employers opposed to a rule that would require them to cover birth control for women free of charge. (USA Today)

Mortgage Deal: Conservatives say the $26 billion deal to settle charges of mortgage fraud unfairly rewards those who miss payments; liberals say it doesn't offer enough relief. (CNN)

Russia Doesn't Like Spies: An engineer at Russia's Plesetsk space station is jailed for 13 years after being convicted of selling missile test data to the CIA. (BBC)

Geeks On Parade: Comic-Con to open with 136-mile Olympics-style lightsaber relay. (LA Times)

Hey Young People!: Portlandia to get its own book. (Rolling Stone)

The Simpsons at 500: Untold Stories. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Yes Trollhunter Is On The List: The top 50 foreign language films of the last decade. (Den Of Geek)

A Brief Photographic History: Glitter-Bombs. (Time)

Designer Pops: (No idea how to describe this due to poor study habits in our German class.) (Thaeger)

Scary Nature Thing Of The Day

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Garage On Broadway: The city-owned garage next to the McMenamins Elks Temple is not looking good. (News Tribune)

The Show Must Go On: despite budget shortfalls the Tacoma City Council will continue to fund local events and neighborhood markets. (News Tribune)

Fourth Of July In The Boonies: Pierce County Council says residents in unincorporated Pierce County can continue to blow shit up for eight days. (News Tribune)

GOP Presidential Race: Rick Santorum's hat-trick reshaping the contest that will decide who runs against President Obama in November. (CNN)

Watch Out For The Thing: Russian scientists are reporting success in their quest to drill into Lake Vostok, a huge body of liquid water buried under the Antarctic ice. (BBC)

Metallica: It has its own summer music festival. (USA Today)

Jay And Silent Bob: The cartoon. (Paste)

Today's Lesson: The history of the middle finger. (BBC)

Times Are Tough. Even for Batman. (Comicbeat)

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Your House Is Safe: Tacoma City Council accepted $1.6M in concessions to avoid firefighter layoffs. (News Tribune)

It Should Pass: The state Senate will vote today on gay marriage bill. (News Tribune)

Aftermath: Romney on a roll, Gingrich undeterred. (CNN)

Coroner: "Soul Train" founder dead of gunshot wound. (CNN)

Science!: Researchers have demonstrated a striking method to reconstruct words, based on the brain waves of patients thinking of those words. (BBC)

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha: The band Survivor is suing Newt Gingrich for using "Eye of the Tiger" at rallies. (Rolling Stone)

If You Go All Darth Maul On A Toy Store ...: You'll go to jail. (Blastr)

Groovy: Mad Men season 5 fashions. (The Sew Weekly)

Surreal Photos: Taiwan's abandoned UFO-style homes. (Flavorwire)

Let An Educational Palette Of Primary Hues Wash Over You

FUTURE THINGS ARE COMING >>>

Capt. Charles Moore's presentation, "The Great Infection of the Sea," has nothing to do with that time Lindsey Lohan gave the entire Strait of Gibraltar Chlamydia (like you read about in US Weekly). Rather, Moore's presentation is actually of paramount importance, with the scientist and activist discussing his book, Plastic Ocean, which, according to pre-event hype, "describes the alarming presence of plastics in our oceans." 

Capt. Moore will be in Olympia Thursday, Jan. 19 at the Olympia Center and the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma Monday, Jan. 23. At both events the good captain will talk about what he reportedly calls the "Great Pacific Garbage Patch" in the Pacific Ocean. Information on the U.P.S. website indicates the area is "roughly two million square miles in size," and "is estimated to hold an estimated three million tons of plastic debris."

Should be some uplifting chats.

[Olympia Center, Thursday, Jan. 19, 6:30 p.m., donations welcome, 222 Columbia St. NW, Olympia, susanshaf@comcast.net]

[University of Puget Sound-Murray Boardroom in Wheelock Student Center, Monday, Jan. 23, 5:30 p.m., free, open to the public, 1500 N Warner St., Tacoma, 253.879.3419]