GRAB A CUP AND READ THE MORNING REPORT FOR 2.28.14 >>>

A massive veterans legislative package that would have expanded a host of post-military benefits was sidelined after Senate Democratic backers failed to find enough support among their Republican colleagues.

A senior defense official says the U.S. Army and Defense Department are being unfairly vilified in the media over military budget cuts when Congress is really to blame.

The Pentagon's fiscal 2015 defense budget proposal will cost the Army another six combat units, shrinking the active force to 28 brigade combat teams by 2019.

America's 25 most awkward allies.

In April, the U.S. Army plans to unveil a new camouflage strategy that could result in soldiers wearing Marine Corps desert and woodland patterns into combat. 

President Barack Obama's mandate to reduce U.S. troop presence in Afghanistan by the end of 2014 is U.S. Transportation Command's top priority, Air Force Gen. William M. Fraser III told Congress yesterday.

Special operations forces will be prepared for any decision made on the post-2014 U.S. military presence in Afghanistan, the commander of U.S. Special Operations Command told Congress yesterday.

The threat in cyberspace is changing so rapidly that law and policy lag behind, the nation's top cyber commander told congress yesterday.

The Pentagon's chief information officer discussed the vast opportunities mobile computing provides and its critical role in improving support for the Defense Department's 600,000 mobile device users.

Staffing at the Defense Health Agency has grown by roughly 80 percent since the organization began coming together, but the Defense Department still expects zero growth - or even a decline - in employees once duplicate services are eliminated.

Soldiers who have used the Distributed Common Ground System-Army say that it's an intelligence game changer.

The Army, Marine Corps, Air Force and Navy have named Tobyhanna the Depot Source of Repair, or DSOR, for the Gray Eagle (MQ-1C) Unmanned Aircraft System Ground Control Stations.

Twenty-five years of Oscar hosts, ranked.

There are so many negative things that can be said about ABC's Mixology. It is tactless, boring, occasionally offensive and. ...

Fashion trends more dumb than the newest fashion trend "normcore."

The best restaurant in the U.S. is a tiny shack in Hawaii.

Herding reindeers looks a lot like trying to control alien locust swarms.

Found in translation

When we have seen Charlie Sheen on television - beyond the sweats, the wide red eyes, excessive talking, cigarette-smoking and orange liquid-consuming antics, he looks great. And he's an honorable guy, too. The last few days have been filled with reports of him demanding everyone to stop referring to his porn star girlfriend as a porn star even though she is in fact a former porn star.

So maybe Charlie Sheen's not such a crazy idea as host of National Geographic Channel's Vietnam War two-hour documentary Brothers in War. He has received four Emmy nominations for starring in Two and a Half Men. He's also got Oscar cred. Sheen starred in Platoon, which won best picture of 1986, and he appeared in Wall Street (1987) opposite Michael Douglas, who won a lead actor statuette for his performance in that Oliver Stone drama.

Let's take a look at what brothers in war is about, via a news release. ...

In 1967 the boys of Charlie Company went to war in the Mekong Delta, the homeland of the Viet Cong, and entered a foreign land of murderous heat, unforgiving jungle and a new age of guerrilla warfare. This "band of brothers" journeyed from boot camp to combat and, for the lucky ones, back home - experiencing their horror, their pain, their misery, their happiness and, above all, their camaraderie together. Now, nearly 50 years later, they're uniting once again to share their stories of courage under fire with the world.

Through gripping first-person accounts and digitally remastered archival footage, including the soldiers' own home movies and personal audio tapes, Brothers in War recounts the harrowing combat experiences of the men of Charlie Company - one of the last American combat infantry companies to be drafted, trained and sent to fight together in Vietnam. Fittingly narrated by Charlie Sheen, who rose to stardom after his 1986 performance as a Vietnam soldier in "Platoon," the two-hour special premieres Wednesday, March 26, at 8 p.m. ET/PT on the National Geographic Channel (NGC)

Hmmmm.

We ask again: should Charlie Sheen host National Geographic Channel's Vietnam war special Brothers in War?

Considering the rich history of cheap, hastily produced films aimed at a Christian audience, it's sort of surprising how infrequently a high-profile version of that - like Son of God - comes around. On the whole, Christian moviegoers have never quite wanted for movies that pander to them, but it's the rare occurrence when something like The Passion of the Christ comes down the pike. Consider the recent "War on Christmas" screed, Last Ounce of Courage, which would be laughable if it weren't so infuriating.

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TUESDAY, FEB. 25 2014 >>>

1. Anyone who has seen them - dance enthusiast or not - can tell you that Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater is a feverish love poem to the human body. Ailey founded his company in 1958, with an emphasis on ballet lines in the lower body and modern movements in the upper body. Ailey II embodies Alvin Ailey's pioneering mission to establish an extended cultural community that provides dance performances, training, and community programs for all people. According to pre-show hype, "Ailey II is universally renowned for merging the spirit and energy of the most talented young dancers with the passion and creative vision of today's outstanding emerging choreographers." Under the artistic direction of Troy Powell, expect an exhilarating and diverse repertory of timeless classics and thrilling new works at 6:30 p.m. in the Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts Mainstage.

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Dreaming of the '90s, this is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.

THURSDAY, FEB. 27

Portlandia's fourth season of gentle sketch satire at the expense of the PNW begins on IFC at 10. They should totally put a bird on that.

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THURSDAY, FEB. 20 2014 >>>

1. Poppet, AKA Molly Raney, is a hard act to do any justice in describing. Just one woman, a keyboard and a looping pedal, yet it amounts to so much more than the sum of its parts. Clad in a spandex green onesie, Raney commands the stage with inventive melodies and whimsical interpretive dance. Setting aside the clear complexity and thought that goes into her music, Poppet's performance has a very childlike quality to it. Even though her impressive voice and lively arrangements betray a sure hand, Poppet still feels like a little girl who has come down to the living room to put on a show. Read Rev. Adam McKinney's interview with Poppet in the Music and Culture section, then catch Poppet with Mirrorgloss and True Holland at 9 p.m. In The New Frontier Lounge.

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As we trudge toward the end of the dismal cinematic months of winter, it's only fitting that I should find myself facing such a dilemma: do I write about the new Paul W.S. Anderson (Alien vs. Predator, Death Race, the Resident Evil franchise) movie, or the new McG (This Means War, Terminator Salvation, Charlie's Angels) movie? Two of the worst working Hollywood directors vying for my attention. Do I go with McG's reheated tale of Kevin Costner's trained assassin trying to settle down and become a family man, or with Anderson's hilarious take on a volcano's complete and utter widespread destruction?

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WEDNESDAY, FEB. 19 2014 >>>

1. Flamenco dancer Savannah Fuentes presents El Sol de Medianoche, Flamenco en Vivo: a night of powerful Spanish flamenco music and dance featuring singer Curro Cueto of Seville and guitarist Jose Vega of Cadiz at 8 p.m. in The New Frontier Lounge. Let the mix of music and traditionally costumed dancing beauty transport you to Spain.

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ERMAHGERD! There's going to be a Goosebumps movie, you guys!

Continuing the exhausting phase of mining every little bit of nostalgia for the increasingly apathetic eyes of '90s children, the once-beloved book series of cheesy lite horror for kids is coming roaring to the big screen.

The audience for such an adaptation has got to be vanishingly low, right? We're talking adults in their mid-20s to early 30s (because I doubt children are still reading them, and adults back then didn't read them) who fondly remember reading the Goosebumps series (I read them, but can't remember a single thing about them) and who care so deeply that they'll jump at the opportunity to see some interpretation of it in a movie theater.

While the project has been in works for some time, it was recently announced that Jack Black will star as R.L. Stine, the author of the series, which lends a level of unwelcome meta commentary, for me. Remember when the book The Time Machine also existed in the universe of the movie The Time Machine? Or when Bo and Luke Duke in the movie version of The Dukes of Hazzard can be seen watching the TV show The Dukes of Hazzard? No? Neither of those? Well, it was infuriating.

If there's one ray of positivity surrounding the Goosebumps movie, it's that idiosyncratic screenwriter Mike White (School of Rock, Chuck & Buck) had a hand in penning the script. After his run with the criminally overlooked HBO series, Enlightened, this will be White's first return to movies since his disappointing Year of the Dog in 2007. If anyone can inject an off-kilter earnestness into what is essentially a nostalgia-exploiting cash grab, it's Mike White.

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 26: C.L.A.W. OPEN SWIM

C.L.A.W. sounds like a sinister cartoon shadow organization, but that's only partly true. The Cartoonist's League of Absurd Washingtonians is a collective of artists - including Tacomic creator and all around provocateur RR Anderson - who meet up to share their work and create new works together. Their Open Swim event is an opportunity for non-members to come around and participate in the mad cartooning.

Artists will collect a word from a mystical fez, and will then be expected to incorporate that concept into their drawing, in addition to general commiserating. It's geeky fun for creative types who want to share their work with likeminded weirdos - sort of like the Internet, but with real live people for you to not make eye contact with. Fun! 7:30 p.m., King's Books, 218 Saint Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.8801

Until next time, super perfundo on the early eve of your day! 

TUESDAY, FEB. 18 2014 >>>

1. The Square is the latest from Egyptian director Jehane Noujaim. This in-your-face documentary chronicles the Egyptian Revolution that began in 2011 - and continues to this day - through the eyes of the people who know it best: the revolutionaries themselves. Read Jared Lovrak's review of The Square, then check the film out at 2 and 6:45 p.m. at The Grand Cinema in Tacoma.

2. All good things come from a well-crafted jam, do they not?  Trees: a natural earth-sun jam. Chocolate milk: a spoon-and-glass Hershey-jam. Babies: a pre-parental romance-jam. Music @ 11: an Afro-Cuban jam born from a percussion workshop lead by Olympia drummer extraordinaire Scott Saunders. Participants are encouraged to bring hand drums and percussion instruments if they have them to the 11 a.m. Afro-Cuban Percussion Workshop in Kreielsheimer Hall on the Saint Martin's University campus. Some instruments will be provided. It is not necessary to have an instrument in order to attend and beginners are welcome. Unlike trees and milk, however, impromptu dancing during this workshop won't land you in Western State Hospital.

3. The "Global Perspectives" show at The Gallery at Tacoma Community College is outstanding. It provides a look into the art and cultures - and most particularly the lives of working class people throughout the world as seen through the eyes of local artists. Included are paintings, drawings, sculpture and photography by regional artists who are also world travelers, and in some instances art from other cultures collected by these regional artists.

4. Hosted by Ralph Porter every Tuesday at 8:30 p.m., Ha Ha Tuesdays at Jazzbones offers a string of comedians and drink specials.

5. The 1230 Room probably has you at "$4 lemon drops," but you also may be interested in the downtown Olympia club's Tuesday deep, tech and progressive house night "Deep Tuesdays." It launches at 9 p.m. with drink specials, no cover and resident DJs Alex Bosi and Evan Mould.

LINK: Tuesday, Feb. 18 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area