The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

June 17: Shopping confusion with Jessica Simpson

So my friend @mcstephyblanche and I just bought rainbow chard...hmmm?" 8:28 a.m., via UberTwitter

January 30: Seriously, Jessica Simpson. Clean your shit up. You're a mess, girl. Put the Twitter down.

"I meant "orgasm" not orgasim...one of the cute doctors here at the hospital informed me of my misspelled tweet. Hmm...was he hitting on me?" 4:23 a.m., via UberTwitter

January 13: OK. This is actually pretty funny, Jessica Simpson. Point for you.

"Dear elderly man at the gym:its hard 4 me 2 keep composure whilst punching at chipmunk speed when ur ball sack spills out of ur wind shorts" 5:14 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in next week for more fun, Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

BONUS JESSICA SIMPSON PHOTO!

February 3: Jessica Simpson always has someone on hand to shoot sexy-time photos. Sometimes, however, she does run out of Proactiv. (Oh snap!)

"I'm gonna bite," 6:59 p.m., via UberTwitter

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

June 16: Jessica Simpson tries new things

"I ate tofu for the first time last night! It was yummy! You know your from TX when you have to dip it in ketchup. Ha." 7:31 a.m., via UberTwitter

February 22: Jessica Simpson wrestles with the Big Questions

"I'm thinking about getting a pet pig. Does this mean I'll have to give up pork?" 12:10 p.m., via Twitter for Blackberry

February 20: Ahhh! Fuck! Make it stop!

"The Price Of Beauty :) Thanks La Mer for the upper and lower zone radiant mask." 10:54 a.m., via Twitter for Blackberry

Tune in next week for more tweets from the life of Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

June 15: Jessica Simpson tells it how it is (?)

"True- went to the doctor yesterday False- plastic surgery" 10:47 a.m., via UberTwitter

March 5: Jessic Simpson dives into poetry

Just woke up after falling asleep reading this book "poemcrazy"! Poems that are crazy normally keep me awake!" 3:07 a.m., via UberTwitter

March 3: All Jessica Simpson does is clean out her closets

"Cleaning out my closets...20 boxes of NO's so far. Really? I bought this? My lord!! Hahaha" 8:24 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

April 1: Jessica Simpson is on the edge of her seat

"Did anyone watch 'The Real Face of Jesus?' on the history channel? I have it on tivo and pressing play now. Fascinating!!" 9:12 p.m., via UberTwitter

March 31: The real faces of Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend

"I love my BF ;)" 11:04 p.m., via UberTwitter

March 31: Jessica Simpson is two steps away from the University of Phoenix

"Is there an accelerated learning program to become an asteroid miner? If so, I'm in." 6:22 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

June 11: Jessica Simpson matches the consumption of some Third World countries.

"All of my lady friends are coming over for a backyard treat from my 7 closets cleaning!" 6:45 p.m. via UberTwitter

June 11: Jessica Simpson amazes with knowledge

"Random fact: the jalapeno was the first pepper taken to space." 5:11 p.m., via UberTwitter

May 8: Jessica Simpson plays with feces

"Who can guess which dog took this massive crap? 4:55 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Debbie Gibson

June 4: Debbie Gibson plays BIG shows

"In front of Parliment! Loooove it...can't wait!" via Twitpic, 7:23 a.m.

May 7: Debbie Gibson diversifies

"I'm a Tommy Model!" via Twitpic, 9:23 p.m.

May 6: Debbie Gibson is random as fuck

"I love my friend Lance Bass!" via txt, 2:11 p.m.

Tune in next week for more Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Debbie Gibson

May 25: Debbie Gibson gets around.

"My new boyfriend's a bit dumpy!" via Twitpic, 6:19 p.m.

May 25: Debbie Gibson sells other people's jeans

"New jeans from Billy Baldwin and Chynna Phillips! It's your last week to bid!" via Twitpic, 11:34 a.m.

May 21: Celebrities think they're above the rules

"The TSA at Burbank airport confiscated my man's peanut butter! So, no food in flight but, ya can't bring ur own?!?" via txt, 4:26 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Debbie Gibson (@DeborahGibson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 27: Apolo Ohno - man of the people.

"Beautiful run along santa monica beach.....stopped to talk with some street vendors who were closing.. taught me how to do pushups...lol!" via TweetDeck, 9:09 p.m.

April 5: Apolo Ohno needs a favor.

"Who's got the hook up on the Rihanna tickets?" via TweetDeck, 5:46 p.m.

April 3: Apolo Ohno sells potatoes.

"Have sum fun & cool spots with 1 of my sponsors- Washington Potato Comission..stay tuned :-) Gnight, I've an early flight tomorrow/this am" via Twitter for iPhone, 11:23 p.m.

March 27: Apolo Ohno shows some chest and gets dwarfed by that kid from Slumdog Millionaire.

"This young phenom needs no introduction. Great kid...awesome attitude!" via TweetDeck, 6:06 p.m.

Tune in next week for a new installment of the Weekly Volcano's Twitter Stalker.

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 26: Sexy is as sexy does

"Photoshoot!" via Twitter for iPhone, 5:20 p.m.

April 18: Who uses just one  phone anymore?

"Left my phones in the car...just barely made the flight--thanks to the Sweet lady who rushed through security with my phones!!" via TweetDeck, 11:30 a.m.

April 11: Apolo Ohno shaves - but where?

"Quick workout in...arms feel like noodles. All shaved up- feeling fresh, clean, and crispy! :-)" via TweetDeck, 3:16 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 25: Apolo Ohno's wandering hand. Good times.

"Saw a cool picture of Julianne, Laila Ali, and your truly.......aww Good Times!" via TweetDeck, 9:35 a.m.

April 30: Apolo Ohno enjoys the family life, and shills weight loss products

"Spending quality time with fam & friends. Just met a woman who bought my 8zone product & lost 12 lbs...Raina - you've a great story! Thnk u!" via TweetDeck, 9:13 p.m.

April 26: Apolo Ohno switches seats with greatness.

"I'm not kidding you....just traded seats with pee wee Herman...the one and only." via TweetDeck, 5:23 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)