Bobble Tiki’s posting will be slightly reduced over the holidays. While you're all kissing parental ass for the holiday season (so you can move back in with them, no doubt), Bobble Tiki will be writing a hot new book. See, he’s heard that the nightlife is back, folks are dressing fancy again, and everyone is tippling this drink called "The Cosmo"! I'm thinking of calling the piece... The Rebirth of Cocktail Culture!

That hasn't been covered before, right?

Cool. 

In the meantime, Bobble Tiki would like to give this early Chrismahanukwanzakah gift to his inanimate ilk, the Tacoma Gnome. It's a note pad.

Does anyone have an address for the Gnome?  â€" Bobble Tiki

STAGE
“The Sound of Music”
The English language is only so specific when it comes to describing greatness. There is no word to say how entertaining “The Sound of Music” is other than to say wow. Everything goes right with this show. The sets are simple and effective. The singing is energized and plucky. The costumes are movie-set quality, and the acting brings up images of golden statues and long-winded speeches. â€" Steve Dunkelberger

[Lakewood Playhouse, 2 p.m., $14-22, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd. in the Lakewood Towne Center, off I-5 at Exit 125, 253.588.0042, www.lakewoodplayhouse.org]

MORE THEATER: On local stages today.

FOLK ROCK
The Blondes and Chymes of Freedom
The Blondes sound like a punk rock group but au contraire, it is five vocalist/guitar players who are enthralled with the acoustic work of Bob Dylan and the Everly Brothers but are also known to dip their toes in the Lennon/McCartney well.

With an affinity for the 1960s folk rock explosion, the Chymes of Freedom are dedicated to carrying on in the tradition of Dylan and the Byrds, as well as Neil Young and Gram Parsons. â€" Tony Engelhart

[The Spar, 6 p.m., fund-raiser for the St. Leo Food Connection, $10 donation, 2121 N. 30th St., Tacoma, 253.627.8215]

ROCK
Seaweed
There are many reasons why tonight’s Seaweed show at Hell’s Kitchen will be cooler than their Bumbershoot gig. First off, it’ll be a hell of a lot cheaper. Tickets for Seaweed at the Kitchen are 15 bucks. You can’t park at Bumbershoot for 15 bucks. Second, with all due respect to the EMP Sky Church, Seaweed belongs on a stage like the Kitchen’s. There need to be some flames, some spilled beer, and maybe even some vomit on the floor. There needs to be less than a foot from Seaweed’s sneakers to the drunken hands of the masses. At Hell’s Kitchen, this will all be possible.

Perhaps the biggest reason the show at Hell’s Kitchen will be better than Bumbershoot will be Seaweed’s set list. While the band was limited by time constraints at the major festival in Seattle, at the Kitchen they’re free to do what they please. This being the case, Seaweed has a different set planned tonight, full of songs previously buried and thought dead in the Seaweed live catalog. Look for songs like “New Tools” and “Clean Slate,” and heavy doses of Four and Weak. â€" Matt Driscoll

[Hell’s Kitchen, with Roy, To The Waves and Kane Hodder, 8 p.m., $15, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

Quickie Too

Everyone stopped what they were doing when I walked in.  I was like a city slicker entering an old cowboy bar.  You know the scene, right?  Where the guy stops playing the old time piano, everyone puts down their sarsaparilla, the toughest guy pushes back his chair and says, “Lookin’ for trouble, young lady?”

Uhhhhhhh, I was thinking maybe the Quickie Too crowd could tell a meat eater just from my looks.  I just knew that they knew that I was in fact NOT a vegan.  But I was there to find a cookie, as was my December mission.  No scary, intimidating, tofu munching vegetarian is gonna slow me down.

I danced along to the Jamaican drum music as I perused the menu, in search for hopefully something to bring home to the family.  I knew deep down in my heart I wouldn’t get away with serving any of these items at my dinner table, so I gave up and focused on my cookie.

I took the chocolate chocolate chip vegan cookie, paid my $2, and hauled ass out of there.  I waited until I got home before I tasted the cookie.  I was still a little shook up from my experience with the scary leaf eaters.

Let me just say: It was delicious.  Mr. DeRosa loved it (I didn’t tell him it was “vegan” until after he ate it), the mini-me loved it, and so did I.  The only question we could come up with was: What kind of meat is in a cookie that you would need a vegan alternative?  The eggs?  Milk?  So is it made without eggs?  Help a stupid steak eater out here, people. â€" Steph DeRosa

MORE COOKIES: See what's already in our cookie jar.

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Promiscuous -adjective
1. Characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Though she has been proven promiscuous, you've got to admit Britney Spears' knocked up, 16-year-old sister may be one of the dumbest people the south has ever produced â€" and that's saying something

THE MORNING NEWS

GRAHAM: He’s a bad, bad man.

IRAQ: No US-backed neighborhood patrols.

SALT LAKE CITY: Jailed Viking is sad.

VIDEO: Be the blue-skinned man’s friend.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Bobble Tiki previewed the Return of the Bison show at Club Impact tonight â€" see below. Bobble Tiki would just like to point out that Paul Bunyan is also on the bill. Can we expect his Babe the Blue Ox? Only time will tell.

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

BE SAFE: Take it easy this season.

BOBBLE TIKI’S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
Return of the Bison, despite the peculiar name, is a band capable of sonic devastation. Think Jesus Lizard kicking it with At the Drive-In on their way to a party at Fugazi’s house. Then add a little young Puyallup flavor and you’ve got the picture. Check out Bobble Tiki’s interview with the band here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

At 11:30 p.m. Friday night, Seaweed took the stage in Tacoma for the first time in far too long. Aged like everyone else who remembers the band and packed into Hell's Kitchen to see the first of two Tacoma Seaweed shows this weekend, Tacoma's favorite sons proved exactly what guitarist Wade Neal proclaimed earlier this week.  Seaweed hasn't changed.

"We're still, basically, loud."

Neal wasn't lying.

As the sound man pointed out an hour and a half later, after a sweaty Seaweed pounded out the final notes of an amped up version of Fleetwood Mac's "You Can Go Your Own Way," Friday night at Hell's Kitchen was like a family reunion.  As Neal had foreshadowed earlier this week, the set was heavy on the old and debatably obscure.  Seaweed easily drew from a career's worth of material, utilizing the Weak record to perfection, and getting a frenzied crowd reaction from songs like "Star Girl" and "Baggage."

As expected, Seaweed's long awaited return to Tacoma brought out a who's who crowd.  I found myself in the back corner of the room, which is fairly typical form me as I'm far too young to mosh and I don't like the feeling of other people's sweat.  I saw Natasha buzz by with a pack of her friendly socialite companions, and the Tribune's Ernest Jasmine stood next to me for a song and a half before he realized he needed a better view and hoped up on the bench along the wall.

At 2:09 a.m. my ears are still ringing.  In my book, that's a good show. Now that they've played Tacoma, Seaweed is officially back.  It feels good right now, and even though I'll no doubt have a headache in the morning, it'll feel good then, too. If you missed Seaweed's Friday night show, do yourself a favor and make sure to catch them tonight. â€" Matt Driscoll

ART
Fulcrum Gallery Art-Space
Oliver Doriss, aka DJ Broam, curates the new Fulcrum Art Gallery with the inaugural exhibit â€" Joseph Miller’s multimedia installation “Lambscapes.” Doriss says he’s allowing the shows to run two months due to the limited gallery hours: Third Thursday Art Walks and Sundays noon to 6 p.m.

Miller will give a presentation Jan. 16 at 6 p.m. The show closes Feb. 14.

[Fulcrum Gallery Art-Space, noon to 6 p.m., 1308 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.250.0520]

MORE ART: What’s hanging locally.

STAGE
“The Sound of Music”
The English language is only so specific when it comes to describing greatness. There is no word to say how entertaining “The Sound of Music” is other than to say wow. Everything goes right with this show. The sets are simple and effective. The singing is energized and plucky. The costumes are movie-set quality, and the acting brings up images of golden statues and long-winded speeches. â€" Steve Dunkelberger

[Lakewood Playhouse, 2 p.m., $14-22, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd. in the Lakewood Towne Center, off I-5 at Exit 125, 253.588.0042, www.lakewoodplayhouse.org]

STAGE
“The Nutcracker”
A brooding, mysterious godfather, a broken-jawed wooden soldier that comes to life and a murderous Mouse King all converge once again to remind us “The Nutcracker” story may be the most hair-raising Christmas favorite for the whole family the world has ever known. Tacoma City Ballet stages Tchaikovsky's ballet today accompanied by The Northwest Sinfonietta. â€" Suzy Stump

[Pantages Theater, 1 p.m., $28-$45, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

MORE THEATER: On local stages today.

MUSIC
Christmas Bash in the T-A-C
Bitch all you want about the commercialization of Christmas; your soft-cheese sentimentality is just as bitch-worthy. Especially when it’s set to music.

I’ll say it for you: Scrooge! Bah! Humbug! Christmas music is banal and illusive; nobody really feels that cheery during the season. And if they do, it’s only fleeting, induced by your brother’s monster eggnog made with lighter fluid or a party dose of Prozac.

Tonight, enjoy the sounds of a Tacoma Christmas when local hip-hop and rap artists Mr. D.O.G., The General Wojack, TLove, Young Havenot, Strainja, and Homicyde get all ho-ho-ho on your ass. â€" Brad Allen

[Pacific Lounge, 9 p.m., $10, 2409 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.274.0311]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

I’ve just about lost my mind.  I swear this time of year sends me running to a therapist by the first week in January.  I’m most likely certifiably crazy by Dec. 25.  Wait, who am I kidding?  I’m quite mentally incapable most of the time.  I think I’ve mentioned before that in Mr DeRosa’a office I’m considered his “crazy wife.”  Why would anyone want a wife by any other way? 

Crazy is a little fun.  No, excuse me, it’s a lot of fun.  Most of my friends are loony as well, and it takes a strong person to put up with my erratic mental state.  Two of my favorite people who aid my quest to silently give people the big “F-U” are Cheryl Odell and Monica Warden.  They are the first two invited to this week’s Dinner with DeRosa.  It’s inevitable, and becoming quite often, that I will run into Custom Shirt Shop (where these two claim they “work”) at the last minute before an event and request a custom shirt.  The shirt usually has some hidden meaning, and has been know to both piss off and create envy in onlookers.

One of the most notably insane people I’ve ever met was at Tricky's Pop Culture Emporium.  The store is a ‘70s childhood flashback sensory overload.  This dude’s invited out of sheer respect.  This is the guy who when asked if I could take his picture replied, “Cool, lemmie grab my pink, plastic Doodlebop wig and huge purple Boohbah.”  Rock on my fellow crazy Tacoman, rock on.

One guest in particular this week shares my intense love and craving of Infinite Soups.  I’m talking about Jaime Schumaker.  Last week as I was sampling what would be dinner for the family that night, she rushes in and starts praying for Creamy Jalapeño soup.  Any girl that only has a 45 minute break from work and chooses Infinite Soups as her destination, well she’s my kinda gal.  (You’re bringing the soup this time, right Jaime?)

Then there’s Rotha Nguyen.  Oh, man, is she wild.  I was meeting Carmen, my fellow Volcano scribe, for a pedicure at Angel Nails, when I had met Rotha.  Carmen texted me while I was on my way warning me of Rotha’s mental madness.  I was fed Doritos and filled in on all of Carmen’s dirty little fingernail secrets within minutes of my arrival.  This girl, Rotha, is undeniably insane and brave at the same time.  Who else would have enough guts to tell the world how Carmen has an abnormally large thumbnail that requires a special fit acrylic tip? 

Oh, oops.  Sorry Carmen.

Lastly I’ll be setting a place for Animal of The Muppets at my dinner table this week.  There’s something about a long-haired, wild, mad, and crazy drummer that really turns me on. 

So I’ll see you next week my fellow Volcano fans.  I mean, you do know that by actually admitting you read the Weekly Volcano makes you a candidate for Western State Hospital, right?   Well now you do.

And with that I say: Mnah Mnah, my friends.  Mnah Mnah dodo do do do. â€" Steph DeRosa

It’s been two years since teetotaler Tacomans had something to do on New Year’s Eve. Well this year, dry or sauced, there will be more than enough for everybody thanks to the return of First Night, which is back full force to celebrate the arrival of 2008. If you’re into rock and roll, they’ve got it. If you’re into polka, they’ve got that too. Canadian folk fans are covered, as are dancehall and reggae devotees. They’ve even packed in some hip-hop, performing pigs and a New Year’s fashion blowout at Junior Bizarre. Not at the same time, unfortunately. 

Yes, First Night Tacoma-Pierce County is back, and promises to be bigger, better and more piratey than ever (piratey is a word. Look it up). Debt-free and ready to roll, the resurrection of Tacoma’s annual, non-alcoholic, arts-enriched, sumptuous, family-friendly New Year celebration is alive.

To help prepare your for the pirate-themed night, here’s how to talk like a pirate, courtesy of Cap’n Rummy:

1. Take all words with “r” in ’em and stretch out the sound. So “word” becomes “worrrrrrrrd”, “scurvy” becomes “scurrrrrrrrvy” and “Swarner” becomes “Swarrrnerrrr”.

2. Don’t be sayin’ “you.” Say “ye” or “yer.” Don’t be sayin’ “for.” Be sayin’ “fer.” Don’t be sayin’ “to,” be sayin’ “ter.” For example, “Ye goin’ wit us ter the Matadorrrrr fer some shots of Patrrrron?”

3. “Gs” at the end of verbs be the mortal enemies of Pirates. “Pirating” should be a-spoken as “piratin’”; “drinking” becomes “drinkin’”; and “falling face down in the flipping gutter” becomes “fallin’ face down in the flippin’ gutter.”

4. Use the word "be" a lot. As in “I be off to the Instrument pettin’ zoo at SOTA.” or “I hear there be a Hurdy Gurdy show later.”

5. If you run out of thins to say, or if yer too smashed to complete a sentence, just say “Arrrr!” â€" Paul Schrag