TUESDAY, MARCH 9, 2010 >>>

1. Hazel and Vine play an all-ages show with Lybecker and The New Divide at 7 p.m. inside The Cake Room.

2. Pierce College Fine Arts Gallery shows Korean artists from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

3. The Auburn City Hall Gallery will hold an artist reception for Mick Klass and his urban night photography work from 5:30-7 p.m.

4. The Centre at Norpoint hosts a Beginning Climbing Class from 6-7 p.m. Participants will learn how to correctly put on a harness, tie appropriate knots, handle rope, use belay equipment and properly communicate with climbing partners.

5. The Hub hosts a Trivia Night with cash prizes beginning at 6 p.m.

LINK: Movie showtimes in the South Sound

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

Last week I took some space from my usual indecipherable rambling to describe the madness behind the Volcano's weekly Prefunk blog post. Basically, it's a guide for ways to get you and your liver ready for two highlighted events every weekend. Prefunking, of course, is the act of partying before the party, so the idea is for me to give you my "zany" suggestions for ways to ready yourself for said highlighted events. Research shows America loves "zany."

Usually - though not necessarily the case this week - I try to choose events slightly off the beaten path. Like rock shows in Sumner, or Sinful Saturdays in Milton. This, at least so far, has been the Prefunk's MO.

That said, at least for Saturday, this week's featured event isn't something I had to search high and low for. It's an event you should definitely know about. ...

SATURDAY, FEB. 27

C Average, The Tide, Ex-Girlfriends Club at The Eastside in Olympia

As the Weekly Volcano's Nikki Talotta discovered this week, playing music is therapeutic for Olympia legends C Average. It's one of the main reasons for the band's return to the stage after a two-year hiatus. C Average is full of dads now (it's a two person band) - but that's not stopping them from wailing out some of the headiest, heaviest rock out there. C Average's return should be one of the weekend's highlights.

PREFUNK: Mickey's tall boys - and a few of them. Whether you want to lurk in an Oly alley and drink them from a paper bag is up to you - but you can't go wrong in this situation living as the band lives - which is a life including Mickey's tall boys.

SUNDAY, FEB. 28

Metro Parks Adult Slowpitch Registration

Sure, you can register for the Metro Parks Adult Slow Pitch league any day up until March 15, but why not make today your time to get motivated and get involved? It'd be a perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

For one, you'll already be in sweatpants - which are totally appropriate for adult slow pitch.

And secondly, it's Sunday - so lord knows you don't have anything better going.

PREFUNK: What's great about adult slowpitch? It doesn't take very much athleticism, and it's something you can do either drunk, or right before getting drunk. That's the beauty of it.

In that spirit, try getting out the ol' ball glove and having your wife, husband or significant other fire up a few pop flies to you in the backyard - only replace the softballs with cans of Coors. When you haul them in, instead of practicing throwing to second base, just chug the damn things. After all, drinking stamina is perhaps the most important key to adult slow pitch success.

See you next time.

BEER, MEAT, MOVIES AND BIKES >>>

Update: The follow event sold out.

The big wheels keep on turnin' down at The Mountaineers Club. South Sound road rebels are invited to steer their mean machines over to the Old Town Tacoma clubhouse sundown Saturday night beer, meat and a screening of The Road to Roubaix. San Francisco-based frame building legend Brent Steelman will be among those chowing down on meat products supplied by Dave's Meat and Produce, and sipping Belgium suds from Metropolitan Market.

[The Mountaineers' Club, Saturday, Feb. 27, 7-10 p.m., $10 advance for beer mug, 2302 N. 30th St., Tacoma, 253.272.1351]

LINK: The Road to Roubaix background

THURSDAY, FEB. 25, 2010 >>>

1. Poet Lucia Perillo will be in the house for PLU English Department's Visiting Writers Series at 3:30 p.m. inside the Garfield Book Company. An accomplished author, Perillo's poetry has made her a previous finalist for the L.A. Times Book Prize, and scored her the Kingsley Tufts prize from Claremont University. Perillo will be discussing and signing her latest work, Inseminating the Elephant. Perillo will also readat 5:30 p.m. inside the Scandinavian Cultural Center.

2. Tacoma Runners start and end their 3-ish mile run at Terry's Office Tavern beginning at 6:30 p.m. After the run, they'll head inside Terry's to discuss potholes over beers.

3. Yenney Music in Olympia will host a hand drum class from 6:30-8 p.m.

4. Reggae will fill The Swiss beginning at 9 p.m. when Higher Vibes hits the stage.

5. The $100 for Haiti benefit will feature Perry Acker, Christopher Day, art by Chris Sharp, poetry by Jessica Uhler and dance by Faith Stevens beginning at 7 p.m. inside the Urban Grace Church.

LINK: Movie show times in the South Sound

TUESDAY, FEB. 23, 2010 >>>

1. REI in Tacoma hosts a free Snowshoeing Basics class at 7 p.m.

2. Portland artist Jef Gunn's Undo Every Woven show - paintings, prints, photographs and mixed media collages capturing Oregon's high dessert - is on display from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Traver Gallery.

3. Award-winning NPR journalist and author Naseem Rakha will present a workshop "Writing For Change" at 6 p.m. inside the Olympia Timberland Library.

4. Guitarist Patrick Dethlefs performs at 7 p.m. inside the Mandolin Café.

5. Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill hosts a benefit for Bikers Fighting Cancer featuring the band Koz Of Konfusion at 8 p.m.

LINK: Today's movie showtimes

GO FOR THE PLAYGROUND BURN >>>

Like oil and water, Elizabeth Taylor and marriage, and Iggy Pop and body fat, some things just don't mix. You can add athletes and bookstores to that list - you rarely see people tossing a baseball in the Art/Architecture/Photography section of a bookstore.

Well, the resurgence of playground sports is putting that theory to the test, as the Intermittent Health And Fitness Club, or IHAF, combine their gym-class glory days with a night of exercise. Titled "Recess," IHAF offer a night of Double Dutch, four square and hopscotch - "our ridiculous way to get fit" - March 3 inside King's Books. These minimally challenging yet often acrobatic and exciting games don't require fancy equipment, refined skills, testosterone or a book club card. However, sometimes it just feels good to "double tap" someone's ass in four square followed by a quick 20 pages of Paul Madriani's legal thriller Double Tap.

[King's Books, Wednesday, March 3, 7 p.m., free, 218 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.8801]

Monday, Feb. 15 >>>

1. Stephen Prothero Speaks on America, religion and the danger of ignorance in Schneebeck Concert Hall at University of Puget Sound.  The lecture is titled "Religious Literacy in a Furiously Religious World" and begins at 7:30 p.m.  Free.  Contact UPS for tickets. 1500 N. Warner St. Tacoma, 253-756-3700, or 253-756-3419  

2. Bulls-Eye Indoor Range holds free shots for ladies every Monday - and active duty military the 1^st and 15^th of every month.  Furthermore, children under 12-years-old also shoot free when accompanied by an adult.  So basically, today is not a good day to be a non-military male who likes to practice shooting in a range.  9 a.m. - 9 p.m. 414 Puyallup Ave. Suite B (upstairs) Tacoma, 253.627.2855

3. Keep your kids in the dark for President's Day.  No school glow bowling at Proctor District's Chalet Bowl includes glow bowling, "those cool shoes," a small soda, and two pieces of pizza per person.  Reservations and pre-payment required.  $11 12-2 p.m. and 2:30 - 4:30 p.m.  3806 North 26^th, Tacoma, 253.752.5200

4. Free live blues night tonight (and every Monday night) at The Swiss.  Cold Shot, A Tribute to Stevie Ray Vaughan, will begin at 8 p.m.  1904 Jefferson Avenue, Tacoma 253.572.2821

5. President's Day with Apache Chief, Apache Chief, Collapsing Opposites, OK Vancouver OK, Role Mach and Womberang at the Den - starts at 7 p.m. and it'll cost you $5. Just another good reason to give kids the day off of school. 934 Pacific Avenue, Tacoma, 253.572.2280

MONDAY, FEB. 8, 2010 >>>

1. bellaballs studio - home of glass artist Diane Hansen and designer Lesli Jacobs-McHugh and their beautiful hand-blown glass floats, bellaballs, will host another bella social Monday night featuring cocktails, food and, you guessed it, bellaballs. 5-8 p.m., no cover, 747 Fawcett Ave., Suite B, Tacoma.

2. Olympia Downtown Association goes big-time and holds their annual meeting tonight from 6- 8:30 p.m. at Capital Playhouse.  $8 donation gets you in with appetizers, no-host bar, information and fun.  If you win the raffle, we get half. 612 4^th Ave E, Olympia 360.357.8948

3. Bahia Rowen tickles your external auditory meatus (That's a real word, I swear I didn't make that up) at Mandolin Café from 7-9 pm.  Coincidentally, her indie-folk vibe goes well with Mandolin's meatus-loaf.

4. Things get graphic, let's discuss.  This month the Graphic Novel Book Club meets inside Hilltop's 1022 South to discuss Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth by Apostolos Doxiadis, Christos H. Papadimitriou et al. 7 pm, 21+

5. Anyone with any physique and any skill level is welcome to attend Roller Derby practice held Mondays at Wheelz Skate Arena, 2101 Mildred in Fircrest.  Cost of $35/month for juniors and $50/month for adults includes weekly practice, skate rental during weekly practice, admission for all open skate sessions, and 10% off any skate purchase.  Junior roller derby-guys or gals ages 6-17 skate from 6:30-8pm, adults begin spinnin' their wheels at 8pm.  Show up and register, then go kick some butt.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

I know, I know. Enough already. On Monday I promised you an interview with Metal Sanaz in advance of her appearance at Hell's Kitchen tonight.

It didn't happen, all right. Things sometimes go awry. Like a number of occasions in my life, she had my number - but she just didn't call. High school prepared me for this.

But, I'm done talking about Metal Sanaz. It's time to Prefunk for the weekend.

Roses are red, violets are blue, this week's Volcano has dating horror stories from our staff, and this Prefunk's for you.

SATURDAY, FEB. 6

Tango Alpha Tango at The New Frontier

Portland's Willamette Week called the band's brand of rock, "sweeping, dramatic and unapologetically evil at the most surprising of moments."

I'll just call this PDX based band fucking stellar Rose City indie pop - a tinge darker than twee, and more interesting than most. If you know of Carolines (RIP), then you know at least half of Tango Alpha Tango - created by Nathan and Aaron Trueb after Carolines disbanded, with the other half of Carolines going on to create PDX's Deepest Darkest.

This show is easily one of the weekend's best.

PREFUNK: As much as it pains me to say this, and question myself, I think this is one of those rare occasions in life when intoxicants won't be necessary. You won't need drugs to enjoy this - or get through it. You may not even want drugs, though - knowing you - that seems unlikely. Just have a few cordial cocktails at The New Frontier, kick back, and enjoy.

SUNDAY, FEB. 7

The Muthafuckin' Super Bowl

When I tell people I'm a fan of pro football - a big fan - sometimes I get dirty looks. Especially in scholarly, artistic or musical settings, my love of over-pumped men pushing each other around on Sunday afternoons tends to feel like a dirty little secret sometimes.

Oh, but not on Super Bowl Sunday. It's the one day of the year when just about everyone gives in and tunes in for four and a half hours of football, expensive commercials, and a somewhat pointless halftime show featuring the Who.

Come Sunday, that's exactly what I'll be doing. And, be honest, you will too. ...

PREFUNK: Nothing eases the five-hour pre-game show down your throat like cheese products. Cheese balls. Cheese dips. Cheese slices. Cheese sauces. And even Velveeta - cheese and the Super Bowl go together like, well, cheese and the Super Bowl.

To get ready for the big game, try setting a new personal record for overall cheese consumption. Around the three-pound mark, I hear one reaches a very pleasant state of euphoria.

Of course, shortly thereafter you vomit - but it's Super Sunday. You're going to do that anyway. 

THURSDAY, FEB. 4, 2010 >>>

1. One of the writers of the original Twilight Zone series - George Clayton Johnson - will be speaking with William F. Nolan beginning at 7 p.m. inside the Tacoma Public Library's main downtown branch.

2. The Tacoma Runners present another Thursday Beer Run with a 6:30 p.m. starting gun in front of The Red Hot.

3. Mountaineer Dan Mazur - owner of Himalaya Incorporated in Lake Bay, famous for leading Greg Mortenson's "Three Cups of Tea" expedition to Mount K2 and the rescue of Australian climber Lincoln Hall on Mount Everest - will give an interactive photo-film presentation at 7 p.m. inside The Evergreen State College's Longhouse.

4. Tacoma's first First Thursday - a free art slam and potluck happening inside the Speakeasy Arts Cooperative - will run from 7-9 p.m.

5. Freeze And Fur Coat, Trip the Light Fantastic, and Clyge Kurtis perform at 8 p.m. at The New Frontier Lounge.

LINK: Catch a movie today