YouTube just got sexier, courtesy of Tacoma’s Samsara Pilates and Pole’s Meli McCourek.  You won’t see full frontal, but you will see titillating fun, and some super hot shoes.  Then you can sign yourself up for classes and learn the fun, yourself. Contact  Samsara Pilates and Pole at 253.370.2452 with all your questions. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

OK, forget about the ‘80s-era aerobic craze â€" today’s fitness is less about the clothes and the pose, and more about adapting to active interests, and adding them to daily lifestyle to enhance health.

At least, that’s the premise put out there by Metro Parks in their Active Living Every Day classes, to be held beginning Oct. 10 for 20 weeks at the Metro Parks Tacoma main office on Wednesday from 7-8:30 p.m. The $135 cost includes an Active Living Every Day book and access to additional support through the program’s web site and online study guide.

This won’t be an exercise class, so don’t worry about finding the perfect matching headband and legwarmers: rather, the behavior-change program looks at creative and simple ways to be active every day, everywhere, and create a lifetime of active habits that will result in health benefits. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

The 2007 Dockyard Derby Dames championship bout will be Saturday, Nov. 3 at the Tacoma Soccer Center. 

Janesaw Massacre and Slim Finnegan are getting their wheels lubed and ready for Saturday’s roller derby bout.

In just a couple of days, they’ll be poised with their Femme Fiannas teammates, with one win and one loss so far this season, tying them with the Hellbound Homewreckers (and placing both teams about the Marauding Mollies, with two losses).  The Fiannas can’t wait to toe the line, waiting to bash into a few Trampires and build on the winning momentum that the Femmes enjoyed at the last Dockyard Derby Dames bout.

“We’re very excited about this bout,” Slim says. “We’re coming up on top, and we’re gonna take ‘em down.”

Adding to Slim’s determination, the fact that it’s her birthday on Saturday, “Losing is not an option,” she promises.

But it’s not just the Femme Fiannas who are building momentum: the league itself is going places, with a traveling team, a potential secure home at the Tacoma Soccer Center, and an expensive new addition: “We’re christening the new floor,” Janesaw boasts, talking about the brand spankin’ new, $20,000 addition to the league.

The first bout featured a wobbly, decrepit floor that caused more than a few issues. The wobbles will be worked out for this bout with the help from a sub-floor that Gray’s Lumber gave the Dames a screaming good deal on, as well as the aforementioned new floor.

This bout will be the season’s penultimate bout, with the final bout of the season set for Nov. 3, also at the Soccer Center. “All of us have gotten so much better,” Janesaw explains. “To watch us, it feels professional.”

To build on that professional feeling, the traveling team recently boasted a win over Spokane’s travel team, 124-80.  “We smoked ‘em,” says Slim.  After the Dockyard Derby Dames regular season ends, the traveling team will head south to Portland to bout against the Rose City girls later in November, then on to San Diego in July, where the travel team will square off in a stadium built to hold 2,500 people.

And even after the regular season ends, tryout schedules will remain as they are now, on the third Sundays of every month from 10 a.m. to noon at Parkland’s Skate n Station. “In out off season, we’ll be getting strong, honing our skills, revving up for the next season,” Janesaw tells us, promising, “We’re putting together a structured season.”

For now, feel the heat rise as the Dames set out to prove who’s better, and who’s best, in the semi-championship bout on Saturday.

Go, Saturday.  Feel the RAWR. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

The Dockyard Derby Dames will hang out at Doyle's Public House Saturday to help tap the Oktoberfest  kegs.  The girls will be on wheels with raffle tickets and sharp elbows.

They are gearing up for their Bout 3 Sept. 29 at the Tacoma Soccer Center.  See below. â€" Suzy Stump

When I was a sophomore in high school, time in gym class was devoted to such sports as bowling, foosball, and roller skating.  Junior year, though, roller skating was eliminated from the curriculum due to the amount of injuries sustained the previous year.  As my introduction to the world of roller derby proved to be far less painful and much more entertaining, it will hopefully sustain its run for a greater length of time.

The second bout of the season for Tacoma’s Dockyard Derby Dames roller derby league started strongly for me last night with the thrill of partaking in a new activity, in this case supplemented by driving to Parkland and standing in the lime green Skate N Station roller skating rink.  Things continued to go well even as I entered the dizzying heights of abject confusion.  I’ll freely admit to spending most of the first half in a bewildered daze as I watched fishnet clad temptresses merrily zip around an oval track.  Despite a helpful demonstration of rules at the beginning of the match (few things would prove to be funnier than watching a 35-year-old man blatantly shove a 14-year-old girl to the ground in order to demonstrate an illegal foul), I was in far over my head when it came to following the intricacies of fouls and scoring.  This didn’t seem to be a sport of finesse, and the beer garden’s deal of unlimited drinks for a modest $10 only strengthened my convictions.

By the end of the night I could tell the difference between a Pivot and a Jammer, and the Trampires and Femme Fiannas had been declared the official winners.  But as the Dames, officials, spectators and I all headed to Doyle’s Public House to celebrate, I couldn’t help but feel that we were all truly winners at heart. â€" Will Pearson

I couldn't think of a better way to spend a summer Sunday than on a hot date with myself listening to loud rock and roll and watching tough-as-nails roller derby chicks knocking each other on their asses. Yes, my Sunday will be spent with the Dockyard Derby Dames characters like Janesaw Massacre, Nancy Hardagain, Sybil War, Anita Hit Sum Won, Lola Pistola and Moana Lisai crammed at the front of the flat track jumping around, screaming my lungs out, picking fights and hocking loogies. Being up close and personal blows away watching the action on television.

Hell, with a beer garden, girls in fishnets at halftime, a rock band, this is entertainment at it's fullest. After the bout everyone will head to Doyle’s Public House in Tacoma. â€" Brad Allen

[Skate n Station, Sunday, Aug. 26, 7 p.m., $10, 301 133rd St. S., Spanaway, www.myspace.com/dockyardderbydames]

The Dockyard Derby Dames put on one of the best shows of entertaining athleticism I’ve seen in the last … well, forever Saturday night at the Tacoma Soccer Center.  These women are real, they rock, they have heart, and they skate like they live, with energy and vivacity and a bit or Rawr for good measure.  It’s the ticket to buy, as far as I’m concerned, whether you’re high-brow, monster-truckin’, perverse, or hipster.  Certainly the packed-house crowd reflected that, with little kids running amongst an old woman with a walker, and all ages and types in between, who watched assorted cool fishnets, cleavage, and butt-cheeks and blended them in with a little bit of “Oh My God She’s Holding Her DOWN!”

Hot action by dames like Vorpal Bunny, Ollie Oxen, Dandy Rough, Skate Pauli Girl, and especially Cookies and MILF (skate number OU812) made the laps fly fast despite the brutal track condition (soft and giving isn’t so great when you’re trying to build up speed) and the apparent fatigue on the skaters faces as the jams elapsed.

I especially, especially, especially (really, even!) loved the Rat City turnout: here was a large contingent of the nation’s best derby-ers showing up to give props to league newbies in a demonstration of cross-city collaboration that warmed my heart.

The Trampires ended up sinking The Marauding Mollies, rum and all, by one point (89 to 88) in overtime( Mad Madge, regional Ref coordinator, was excited by this even as the commentator ran laps in his excitement.

According to Madge, who has reffed for three years and has been in three tournaments, said she’d never seen an overtime, “Overtime, Oh my God,” she fairly gushed in excitement after the bout.

The Hellbound Homewreckers beat out the Femmes (Femme Fianna) without an overtime (I think the score ended up something like 98 to 60, but I’m not sure.) While Cruel Brittania of the Union Jack Underpants proved to be truly intense, and Blonde Amazon and Ria Rangerface, showed their might, standout performances by Janesaw Massacre, Slim Finnegan, and Ghetto Heart showed that the numbers don’t necessarily reflect the way the season will go.

At the post derby O’Malley’s Cinco de Drinko fest, the Seattle contingent showed up alongside Trampires, Marauders, Homewreckers and Femmes, and it was heartening to see all the intermingling and love between all the ladies.  Yo Pabst Blue Ribbon â€" if you’re reading this, you need to endorse this league, as they are among some of the best advertising assets you might have.

Commentator Nathaniel, whose enthusiasm for the event â€" and especially how T-Town does Derby â€" shone through as he did a post-bout recap; he got especially excited as he recounted Janesaw against Blonde Amazon, saying, “Watch those girls, they’re going to raise the level, raise the bar.” He also gave props to Cookies and Milk and Slim Finnegan, noting these “Janes of all trades” have “the total package.”

But he also was fast to mention the league’s “stand-out blocking,” saying, “for the first season, we were not expecting it.”

For myself, neophyte derby enthusiast as I am, I was not expecting the tangible stoke of the evening.  The raw emotions heated up in the ring, and the love afterward kept the warmth going, while the Pabst just made everything right with the world. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler