LET'S BURN SOME VOODOO DOLLS>>>

As the old year turns into the new, people in Ecuador handcraft dolls out of straw newspaper, and old clothes... dolls that are made to look very much like political figures from the past year... dolls which they then throw into a fire or stuff with firecrackers... which they then merrily watch explode as the clock strikes midnight.

Because celebrating the New Year and political upheaval go hand and hand... at least they do in Ecuador.

SELLER OF LOCAL STUFF, HATER OF CAPITALIZATION >>>

It's no secret that in order to associate the name "Steph DeRosa" with the term "journalism" you must do so in a very sarcastic manner - but this time I had some legitimate investigative journalism to partake in: sweet pea had welcomed a new store, fly boutique (just like the name sweet pea, it's not capitalized), inside the store he proudly operates - King's Books. I needed to get the skinny.   

I channeled Sherlock Holmes as I strapped on my plaid deerstalker and grabbed my oversized magnifying glass and pipe. Leave it to me, Tacoma, and I will give you more fluffed information than you ever wanted.

During my investigation I learned Jennifer Adams, owner of fly boutique, had not long ago opened her store on Broadway in downtown Tacoma. It was filled with items from local designers and artists. Call it a brick-and-mortar Etsy, if you will. (Except, without all the made-in-China bullshit etsy.com sells now that they call "handmade," right? ... But I digress.)

Shortly after opening, however, fly boutique succumbed to light water and smoke damage due to a fire at the neighboring Subway sandwich shop.  I suspect this happened because either sweet pea struck one of those long fireplace matches at Subway due to his hatred for bologna meats, or, in a drunken stupor, Bandito Betty tried to take up smoking only to violently gag and haphazardly throw her nasty Virginia Slim in the general direction of a competitor's stack of papers laying outside Subway's doors. Hehe - that would be funny if it really did happen.

Next I visited the new (and smoke-free!) location of fly boutique located inside King's Books' rare book room. (Note: Even if fly isn't open, someone from King's Books will let you in to shop.) Just as I had suspected, the distinct smell of witty sarcasm, letterpress ink and hand-sewn garments permeated my nostrils as I entered the room. I giggled to myself when I saw the handmade Hanukkah postcard that read "What did JEW do on December 25th?" Next I spotted a child's onesie with "Hug Life" screen printed on the front. Clever.

Of course, I couldn't help but recognize an item I owned myself: One of local artist Jenny Craig's flying genitalia charms. Hey, for $5 each, they make amazing gifts.

My investigative eyes led me to the sign posted upon fly's door. It said: Open until January 15, 2011. Say what? Sweet pea tells me to stay tuned for more information, but something tells me even he has no idea what will go in that spot next. 

I suppose this will call for more Steph DeRosa investigative journalism come January 15, 2011. 

Now you can't say I didn't warn you.

LOOK FOR IT THURSDAY>>>

In a move that should come as a surprise to absolutely no one -- as it's, perhaps, one of the most obvious stories of all time -- tomorrow's Volcano will include a piece on the Sonics, who will return to South Sound action New Year's Eve at the Capitol Theater in Olympia. As you damn well know, the Sonics -- Tacoma's garage rock forefathers -- are a pretty big deal.

Crank this up to eleven on the ol' laptop while you get ready for tomorrow's Volcano ... and more importantly Friday's Sonics show.

WE'LL DRINK TO THAT >>>

The listicle website Daily Beast has ranked the 40 drunkest cities in America. Milwaukee is number 1. Spokane is number 21. Portland came in at 32.

Tacoma?

It's grouped with Seattle (natch) at number 30. Here are the stats listed on the website for Seattle/Tacoma:

• Average drinks, per person, per month: 12.59
• Percent of adults who are heavy drinkers: 5.1
• Percent of adults who are binge drinkers: 15.3
• Deaths per 100,000 residents from alcoholic liver disease: 7.9

Cheers.

THURSDAY, DEC. 30 >>>

1. Hip-hop and electronic based - not to mention Tacoma-bred - Eliot Lipp will be at The New Frontier Lounge tonight with City Hall. Go here for details. This show will be dope.

2. The Not-Its will kiddy-rock the Moore and Wheelock libraries in Tacoma today. Naturally, because they wear skinny-ties, the Weekly Volcano is on it.

3. Fox Hole Whores, The Americommies, Phasers On Kill and Radamus play Hell's Kitchen tonight. This one should be pleasant ... and by "pleasant" we mean "pleasantly brutal and drunk."

4. It's T-Town Thursday at Masa Comida Mexicana. Have a Tecate and represent, yo!

5. Saxophonist Steve Munger will lay down a couple sets of the good stuff tonight at Ben Moore's in Olympia. When Volcano editor Matt Driscoll was in college at Evergreen, Munger worked at a convenience store near his home - and he'd often stumble in to buy American Spirits only to find Munger wailing away on his sax behind the register. Driscoll reports it was, "awesome," but Driscoll was also high for his entire five and a half years at Evergreen ... so take it for what it's worth. That said, Munger is a class act and his performance at Ben Moore's this evening sounds like the perfect way to wind down the New Year's shortened week.

GUILTY PLEASURES>>>

Of all of the crazy shit I've found scanning Youtube, Funnyordie, and other waste-your-time websites, this is the golden child, the rainy-day-pick-me-up, the 20-second video that makes the next 20 minutes of my life just a little less depressing. Please watch, rinse, and repeat. It's funnier than seeing an old man get hit in the nuts with a football.

AS SEEN IN THE VOLCANO >>>

As you may have already read, the Tacoma Poet Laureate program will be changing hands in 2011 -- going from the oversight of Tacoma's Urban Grace Church to the Tacoma Arts Commission. The Volcano's Kristin Kendle detailed the changes this week.

You can read about it here. (If you didn't already click on the link above.)

Below, you'll find the official press release which was sent out via the Tacoma Arts ListServ earlier this afternoon

Read more...

GOODNESS IN STORE IN PRINT & ONLINE >>>

>>> The Sonics return

Why the fuck shouldn't the Sonics, Tacoma's own fathers of garage rock, finally play that long (loooooong) awaited South Sound comeback show? Far crazier things have happened, after all.

The band will do just that - on New Year's Eve, no less - at the historic Capitol Theater in Olympia. - Matt Driscoll

>>> Atomic Outlaws

You need the Atomic Outlaws - a band seemingly designed specifically to accompany the moment when rock 'n' roll and your c*** become acquainted. - Rev. Adam McKinney

>>> Record digging in Tacoma

"I think Tacoma is a pretty good place to be a collector," says Todd Sykes, local producer/emcee and one third of the group City Hall. "For the size of the city that it is I don't think there are a lot of people digging for records."

>>> Eliot Lipp

Known for his unique take on hip-hop and house, Eliot Lipp has paid dues in underground scenes in almost every primary market in the U.S., Europe and Asia, and has released albums on multiple cutting edge labels. - Zach Powers

PLUS: Molly Hamilton, Corpus Callosum, Death First

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Partly sunny, cold, hi 37, lo 25

Saturday: Partly sunny, hi 39, lo 30

Sunday: Partly sunny, hi 43, lo 33

>>> FRIDAY, DEC. 31: THREE DOG NIGHT

The song is actually called "Joy To The World," but that doesn't mean it's not about a bullfrog named Jeremiah with some mighty fine wine. Similarly, Three Dog Night may be at a point in their career where New Year's Eve is spent at the Emerald Queen Casino, but that doesn't mean you should be embarrassed to show your love for the band. Hell, you love the ladies; you love to have your fun. You're a straight-shootin‘ son-of-a-gun. This show's for you.

• Emerald Queen Casino, 8 p.m., free, 2024 East 29th St., Tacoma, 253.594.7777

>>> SATURDAY, Jan. 1: CORPUS CALLOSUM

Corpus Callosum are a seven-piece traveling sideshow. Their music is made using arcane and unusual instruments like wine glasses and Stylophones, and it sways and hums in a style similar to fellow anachronistic acts like Beirut and DeVotchKa. The show is rounded out by their emphasis on performance. Puppets, stilt walking, cardboard sets - it adds up to a dizzying interpretation of a school recital, a talent show, a carnival. Do you ever see those vouchers with the elephants and clowns and red balls adorned with stars and regret always missing the circus when it unceremoniously blows through town? Here is your chance to experience that eerie magic before Corpus Callosum pack it in and leave for yet another town, more eyes and ears to be met with wonder.

• The Den @ urbanXchange, 7 p.m., donations accepted, 1932 Pacific Ave, Tacoma

>>> Jan. 1- 2: "JOE'S DINER"

On the first two days of '11, check out the South Sound's "first all star acting company" as they delve into the Christian Doyle creation and newborn area favorite, Joe's Diner. Doyle, the name behind The Outfit Theatre Company, promises with Joe's Diner an evening of slapstick, improv, zany situations and guest stars. OK -  we came up with the "zany" part, but you know we're right.

Lakewood Playhouse, 8 p.m. Jan. 1, 2 p.m. Jan. 2, $14.50, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd., Lakewood, 253.588.0042

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

STEPH DEROSA Features Writer
This week I'm out at the beach in Westport, Washington.  I've rallied some super cool eight-year-old girls for a special New Year's Eve weekend that will include a few clam digs, lots of sugar, and I'm sure many, many very loud Hannah Montana dance parties in the living room.  I would elaborate more on the splendid details of my girlie weekend by the sea, but I have a Disney All Star Party game calling for me upstairs on the Wii.  Laterz.

PAUL SCHRAG Senior Contributor
I'm going to fuck with drunk people and celebrate the mightiness of Jah.

*

REV. ADAM MCKINNERY Features Writer
New Year's Eve, I will be attending an impromptu show at the Hilltop Hollows. Currently, the only band on the docket is Skeleton Rebellion, one of my friend Tristan Marcum's bands. There will surely be drinking and much merriment. I've begged them to learn the theme song to Doug and, if they do, I can die a happy man (and be reborn in 2011 as, once again, a miserable man).

JOE IZENMAN Music/Theater Critic
Through the glory of having Friday off (from my day job... here at the Volcano I do very little and have most days off), I can joyously attend The Red Hot for lunch to make sure I don't miss out on The Abyss, one of the finest beers known to man. This shall prepare me to rock the crap out of the Pantages lobby with Deborah Page for First Night. After that? Who can say? Movies at the Grand? Buying comic books? Eating cupcakes? ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
I'm ringing in the New Year up north. Local Seattle band Mystery Ship is playing a show at the the Blue Moon bar, and I plan for an evening of beers and classic rock. On Saturday I'm heading back to Olympia for a Meat Market night out. 

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
New's Year's Eve is gonna be a blur of First Night activities. I'll hit up The Peabody Waldorf for the early Gritty City Sirens' Burlesque show, then it's over to the Club SOTA stage for Pickwick, Robert Dealing and Ravenna Woods courtesy of The Warehouse Presents. At midnight I'll get a kiss from the fab Mr. Varnell and our cutie progeny.  I'll spend Saturday in my pajamas trying to nap as much as possible or maybe head to the mountains to play in the snow. On Sunday I'm going to pretend I don't have to work the next day.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
Despite repeated begging, no one invited me to a New Year's Eve rager. So instead, my girlfriend and I are watching movies with her sister, who doesn't drink to excess. It's PATHETIC. I'm kinda mad at you right now, Oly cool friends.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Photographer
Hitting First Night with Jen Fab before the Vicci Martinez show at Jazzbones and some Hell's Kitchen tunes since there will be a free show.

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
 Avoiding drunks.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

FRIDAY, DEC. 31 >>>

1. Well, it's New Year's Eve in Tacoma. You know what that means: it's time for First Night. Check out details here. And check out the Rev. Adam McKinney's take here.

2. You've waited a long-ass time for this - the legendary Sonics play the Capitol Theater in Olympia tonight to ring in 2011. The Dirty Birds and November Witch open the show - which promises to be amazing.

3. Bring in the New Year with style, flavor and a little crooning. The Two Crooners are at Pacific Grill Event Center tonight - check here for the details.

4. Check out the Atomic Outlaws' new singer, Calvin Muma, and the band's new direction tonight at Hell's Kitchen - where there'll be a free New Year's Eve show also celebrating one year of the new, Pacific Avenue Hell's Kitchen location.

5. Sure, you could bring in the New Year with some fancy champagne toast and some pressed khakis, or you could venture out to Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill in Spanaway and do something more true to yourself - celebrating the coming of 2011 with Tacoma's own Church of Hate. Nothing says happy New Year like makeup and fake blood.