INTERWEBS: MAKING LIFE BETTER SINCE AL GORE INVENTED THEM >>>

In the Philippines they associate roundness with coins and wealth, so to insure the coming year is a prosperous one, on New Year’s Eve they like to surround themselves with round stuff. People dress in outfits covered with circular patterns, like Polka dots, and eat 13 round fruits, for good fortune.

I also like to think that J-Lo has a special reverence on this holiday, although maybe that's just in my household.

This week ...

THING: Sabrina T. Scale of Menchie's Frozen Yogurt

STATS: 18 inches square, 20-pound capacity, 6 inch height

COST OF FROZEN YOGURT: 23 cents per ounce

LARGEST YOGURT CUP EVER MEASURED: Four pounds

ALTERNATIVE USES: Bookend, Doorstop, Weapon (if thrown correctly)

FATHER: Richter Scale

BROTHER: D-Minor Scale

WOULD LOVE TO COME BACK AS: A pharmaceutical scale

WOULD HATE TO COME BACK AS: A Weight Watchers scale.

"Just don't ask me about that Interpol song, ‘The Scale,'" insists Sabrina T. Scale, the frozen yogurt scale at Menchie's Frozen Yogurt in Federal Way.

"‘Pick a rose and hide my face?' Are you kidding me? What the hell does that even mean? Nice lyrics, Interpol." 

I immediately knew what song the female scale was talking about. And dammit, I was totally going to slide that into our conversation. But Sabrina came out of the gate with an attitude, so I quickly changed my tone. I wasn't going to be nice this time around.

"You have a very cold, hard personality, Sabrina. What gives?" I asked. 

"Um, have you seen where I work? I'm in a friggen‘ FROZEN YOGURT shop, Einstein. Of course I'm cold and hard. Besides, I sit here on this counter all alone as people chow on delicious, healthy frozen yogurt. They use me for nothing but weight measurement," Sabrina cried, "I feel used and dirty."

In fact, Sabrina was not dirty at all. I know this because I saw the employees at Menchie's clean her, which leads me to believe that along with being cold and hard, she may also be partially blind. Or have no eyes. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm pretty sure Sabrina T. Scale has no eyes.

"How do you know the flavors are delicious if you can't see, Sabrina?" I said as I inquired in a tone that suggested I was brilliant. She explained, "I just know. I can hear them as they switch out toothsome flavors such as Cake Batter and Hawaiian Delight to Butterscotch and Original Tart. It's hell, Steph, pure hell. Except, what hell would be like it if ever froze over."

I glanced around at the 12 yogurt flavors, some of which were either kosher, sugar free, low-carb or dairy-free and most of which were filled with live and active cultures. I also saw 32 candy toppings, eight fresh fruit toppings, six  chocolate-themed toppings and four syrup toppings. Damn, they looked good.

"So, what's up, tubby? You're gonna pick the low-fat yogurt this time, right?" Sabrina hollered in my direction. 

Sigh. Yes, Sabrina, low-fat it is.  Happy F***ing New Year, everyone.

[Menchie's Frozen Yogurt, 1409 South 348th Street, Federal Way, 253.835.2110]

PIZZA, CALZONES AND STROMBOLI ... THROUGH A WINDOW! >>>

After receiving my stromboli through the small window in the corner of the Eastside Club in downtown Olympia, these were the first words that came out of my mouth: "Are these caper berries?," "The sesame seeds are a nice touch" and "I didn't expect it to be that big!"

The first words that came out of my mouth after tasting the stromboli were, "Wow!,"  "The sauce tastes sooo fresh!" and "You can tell that mozzarella is the real deal."

The restaurant is Al Forno Ferruzza, and owners' Meme Rincon and Stephen Ferruzza couldn't be happier to bring their passion to Olympia. Located at 408 Fourth Ave. E. (the same address that formerly housed both the A2 and the Clubside Café), the restaurant shares a wall and window with the popular Eastside Club, allowing service to bar patrons.

Al Forno Ferruzza was spawned in Portland's street vendor culture, from a cart the duo dubbed "a purple people pizza feeder." From humble cart beginnings, Ferruzza and Rincon moved their way into a Portland restaurant and have been rocking steady ever since.

Now in Olympia, with the Portland location running smoothly in the hands of friends and family, they look forward to their newest endeavor.

"I'm excited about meeting new people, getting involved with the community and sharing our delicious foods," says Rincon.

Getting involved with the community is a crucial part of their business plan.

They are working with local produce growers and meat manufacturers, and plan to have a rotating menu based on what ingredients are in season.

They have also been working with folks at the Eastside Club to make the most of their location. The decision to serve slices through a late-night window and refurnish the restaurant were both made on advice from the Eastside. Where the short-lived A2 restaurant had picnic tables, there are now comfy booths and a new mural of scenes in Italy and Olympia.

"We're really listening to the locals on this one," says Rincon. They are also listening to their roots.

"The ocean air in Sicily is very similar to that of the Puget Sound, resulting in similar produce," explains Ferruzza, just back from a monthlong visit to the famed region.

Ferruzza imports olive oil from cousins in Sicily, and makes pizza the way his father taught him, with fresh ingredients and their trademark high temperature oven.

"It's fresh, it's simple, it's an art," says Ferruzza.

In addition to enjoying the restaurants' creations, which include pizza by the slice or whole pies, calzones and stromboli, patrons will be able to  bring home their own taste of Sicily, as there will be a deli case with a variety of homemade cheeses and imported oils.

The restaurant officially opens its doors Jan. 3, but if you can't wait that long, you can sample their selection through the Eastside's food window.

LOOK FOR THE LIST IN THIS WEEK'S VOLCANO >>>

Roger Ebert is rarely short on opinions -- which makes sense, since (along with incessantly Tweeting) offering opinions on films and movies is his job.

In this week's Volcano, Ebert will offer his list of the ten best films of 2010.

SPOILER ALERT: Cats & Dogs: The Return of Kitty Galore doesn't make the cut.

But what does, you ask? You'll have to wait until Thursday to find out (unless some other paper that publishes Ebert's syndicated work has already run it ...).

Here's a glimpse from one of the films on the prestigious list.

Feel free to discuss the choice amongst yourselves below ...

ALL OLY IS SAYING IS GIVE ART A CHANCE >>>

All we want is some nice art on the walls at the new Olympia City Hall. Is that too much to ask? All we want is for the city to support local artists by spending money that is already approved, set aside and required by law. But it looks like our elected officials are trying to prevent that from happening, or at least delay it.

The Olympia Arts Commission did everything right. They formed a jury of arts professionals to recommend a short list of artist proposals to a citizen advisory panel and ultimately presented four proposals from local artists for City Council approval. And the council shot it down. The vote was 4-3. Mayor Doug Mah and council members Jeannine Roe, Karen Rogers and Steve Langer voted to table the issue until the council's Jan. 4 meeting. Voting against were council members Stephen Buxbaum, Craig Ottavelli and Rhenda Strub. As reported by the Olympian, Rogers questioned whether we should be spending so much money "in lean economic times."

Hey, council members, get this: The process has long since been approved; there has been ample opportunity for public input (actually much more than is provided by most cities); the money is there and the proposals actually total nearly $15,000 less than the budgeted $35,000.

Local artists are up in arms. They've been sending e-mails back and forth and posting comments on Facebook. I've exchanged e-mails with a few of the local artists, including one that was on the advisory committee and one who's art was selected. Since some of the issues are sensitive and I have not been able to get permission to quote everyone - even though posts on Facebook are just about as public as you can get - I have decided to use pseudonyms in attributing the following quotes.

Tom: "I am really disappointed in the lack of leadership that the council has shown. I am particularly dismayed that its members would conclude that they were uninformed when the staff gave them a four-page report on the process, which involved countless numbers of people and their time since at least last March. The jury process alone was nearly seven hours, 56 artists submitted and several hundred works were considered. ... The lame excuse of ‘spending money in these hard economic times' was really weak.

Kay: "Excessively disappointed. I feel like the commission did everything right and still got slapped down."

Firestarter: "It's such a mess! ... The quote from Karen Rogers (in The Olympian) makes me want to tear my hair out."

Jen: "Ah well. So it goes."

Alex: "Philistinism continues to plague Olympia in its quest for art for its new city hall."

Cathy: "Personally, I've been repeatedly disappointed by the comments that Karen Rogers makes regarding the inappropriateness of purchasing artwork during economic hard times. Just what exactly does she think artists do during lean times, crawl under our beds with our paintings and wait until the recession goes away?"

Earlier, a council member suggested that City Hall should have rotating art exhibits and that artists could loan art for exhibition. Arts Commission spokesperson Stephanie Johnson said there are walls inside City Hall that will be set aside for rotating exhibitions that could be used for many different shows, such as children's art and traveling exhibitions. This would be in addition to the four purchased works.

Some of the artists took that suggestion to mean the city could get art without having to pay for it.

Ruby: "Attention all artists: do not ‘lend' your artwork to the City Hall. ... the City is stiffing artists, no one should decorate those walls for free."

Tom: "This issue really speaks to how the arts are perceived in Olympia. There are many who are vocal and feel that the arts are unimportant and should not be supported financially. The fact is the arts contribute millions to the local economy. Arts Walk alone brings in more money to support businesses like restaurants than to the artists that are showing. When people contact the Chamber of Commerce about the community, they want to know about the arts and culture. Why does our arts community always have to feel that they need to justify their existence? Why is it the one profession that people assume that we will gladly show and give our work for free? ... A community without art is a community without soul."

Watch for more on this in my "Visual Edge" column this week.

SEE, WE TOLD YOU HE WAS A DUMB JOCK >>>

In last week's Cup Check column I made fun of Mississippi State basketball player Renardo Sidney (and not even because his name contains "nard"). You see, Renardo is kind of a dumbass - as he proved over the Christmas break ... probably when he thought Cup Check eyes wouldn't be watching.

He was mistaken.

Check out this fracas, conveniently caught on tape, and then hedge your bets on whether Renardo will make a return appearance in this week's Cup Check, hitting streets in the classifieds section of Thursday's Volcano.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 29 >>>

1. Koz of Konfuzion will rock the fuck out of Hell's Kitchen tonight in Tacoma along with Airpocalypse, Tangent, Knowledge of Trees, All Eyes Closed and 3 Smokin Barrels. And if you're in attendance, they'll rock the fuck out of you too. We mean, seriously - look at the dude in the bottom right hand corner of that photo up there. If that's not the face of someone getting the fuck rocked out of them, we don't know what is. There's no cover with a non-perishable food donation.

2. It's free bingo night at Applini's Two Clean and Sober Club in Puyallup. Naturally, it's all ages - because bingo and sobriety cannot be constricted by age. The rowdiness starts at 6 p.m.

3. Tacoma loves Maurice the Fish Records. There's good reason. Tonight, in a routine bar regulars have warmly embraced, there's another Maurice the Fish Records showcase at the Tempest Lounge on Hilltop. It's perfect Wednesday night activity material.

4. Knitting alone is sad. Group knitting is hot. Today, check out the group knitting at Tacoma Art Place. Info can be found here.

5. You're coming up on the last weekend to catch Zoolights and Fantasy Lights in Spanaway. Both yearly endeavors will shut it down for the year after Sunday. This evening would be a nice time to take the family out and see some bright shiny things ... if you're not already sick and tired of the holidays, that is.

COMFORT DINING AND OLD FAVORITES >>>

Sue Glenn is not new to the restaurant game. Owner of The Green Turtle in Gig Harbor, Glenn knows a bit about good food, atmosphere, staffing and ambiance. Earlier this year she became the proprietor of one of the 253's nicest dining views - the Cliff House Restaurant on Marine View Drive in Northeast Tacoma. Live plants in the bistro, a rock garden in the entry and a two-tone light jade paint job, along with the talent of The Green Turtle's Executive Chef Roman Aquillon, have brought a breath of "comfort dining" to the restaurant.

The bistro menu still has many of the same items from the days of Guido (owner for 30 years), and pizza, chicken piccata with cappellini and pastas like seafood linguine have been added to the menu. Burgers have been  improved with a better patty.

"We got a great response on that one - couldn't believe how many burgers we sold," laughed Aquillon in a phone conversation this last Tuesday. "Depending on what's in season or available is what I run for specials," Aquillon shared.

Surf and turf and a macadamia nut-encrusted halibut dish with pineapple chutney are hits. Cajun spiced scallops and prawn puri are lightly breaded, pan-fried and served with roasted jalapeño and herb puree. Entrée prices may raise eyebrows at $20-$32. But happy hour includes half-off all appetizers 3-6 p.m. Lunch is served daily in the lower bistro; enjoy live jazz and blues Friday and Saturday evenings.

[The Cliff House, 6300 Marine View Drive, Tacoma, 253.927.0400]

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank -- and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons are withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week takes us back to '04...

It was a cool Sunday night. The bar was mellow enough - a few rowdies getting loud in the corner booth, but nothing serious - when out of the corner of my eye I notice a fella unbuckling his pants. The next thing I see, he's shitting on the floor, all nonchalant, like he shits on floors every day.

Well, there was a momentary stunned pause as he finished his duty (or doody) and then the bar was amuck - the other bartender screaming, patrons snickering, and my short fuse lit. "Nobody shits in my bar," I thought. In a lapse of judgment I grabbed a plastic bag, scooped the poop, and ran into the streets after him, hollering that he forgot something. When I saw him just ahead I flung the poo-sack. It hit his left shoulder and that was that. I walked back into the bar, feeling rather dirty but accepting of the applause, and poured a round of whiskey. Needless to say, I took a long shower that night. And no one has seen the pooper since.

Check back next week for more exciting adventures "Behind Bars."

DAYS OF OUR LIVES >>>

Many of my high school nights in Olympia were spent in rundown venues. The Midnight Sun, The Backstage, The Eagles Ballroom.  I leaned up against crusty walls bobbing my head to now-defunct bands like the Drawbacks, Vindication and, a personal favorite, I Spit on Your Grave. Outside the shows I'd sneak chugs of beer; inside I'd goof off with my friends and eye girls way out of my league. A skateboard in my hand and Adam Cooper's lowered Honda Accord as my ticket home, those nights in Olympia were the stuff of high school movies.

Now before I tear up and start preaching about "the days of our lives" let me say that The Loft, another important Olympia venue, is in danger of becoming extinct. The issue is complicated. And I must say I'm not sure what side I'm on.

Because as much as I loved every one of those high school days, I certainly love every drop of Fish Tale Ale. 

LINK: Controversy at The Loft in Olmpia